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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28443957">I Think I've Lost My Mind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockyPond/pseuds/RockyPond'>RockyPond</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assisted Suicide, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Derealization/Depersonalization, Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Major character death - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Suicide, magical powers, no beta we die like wilbur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:40:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28443957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockyPond/pseuds/RockyPond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy had dreamt of magical worlds for as long as he could remember. Well, one magical world anyways. The details were always missing, blurry faces staring out at him from the many bodies that scattered the battlefields in his mind. There was a familiarity to this half world, a familiarity he always struggled to find within his own skin.<br/>Most real people felt only half present, his dream world floating around them, making them appear out of place. But these two boys fit both in the real world and his dream world. A simple blink and suddenly the tall boy was dressed in some form of military costume, a bloody wound in the middle of his chest, and the pink haired boy had grown ears like a pig and clutched an axe of all things in his hand. Another blink and suddenly the changes were gone.</p><p>-or-<br/>Tommy has been in the foster system his entire life, when at 16 he is fostered by a strange family, who seem more familiar than they have any right to. As he is accepted into this new family, he discovers more about his mysterious dreams, and the abilities his new brothers seem to have. But what lurks below the surface, threatening to destroy his new life?<br/>Title from 'Saline Solutions' by WilburSoot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1370</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'll Put Down My Roots When I'm Dead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is inspired by Problem Child by Mental_Kitten . You can read their story at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495139/chapters/67231384<br/>I was inspired by the idea of the foster family dynamic and some of the powers in that story but that is where the similarities should stop (I mean, as far as I know, I don't know where their story will be going so can't guarantee). I hope this is okay with Mental_Kitten but if not please just let me know and I will take this down/change whatever you want changed to make it more different.<br/>I hope you enjoy!<br/>Chapter title from 'Since I Saw Vienna' by Wilbur Soot. Expect all of the chapter titles to be from Wilbur tbh.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy had dreamt of magical worlds for as long as he could remember. Well, one magical world anyways. The details were always missing, blurry faces staring out at him from the many bodies that scattered the battlefields in his mind. He always understood the words being spoken despite the distorted tones that would come out whenever someone spoke. There was a familiarity to this half world, a familiarity he always struggled to find within his own skin.</p><p>These dreams, despite their bloody and cruel nature, were still more comforting than the real world. In his dreams he had a family, older brothers who sometimes protected him and sometimes attacked. But at least they cared for him, sometimes, unlike his acquaintances in the real world. None of the children in the group home cared for him, neither did the social worker, and certainly not any of the foster parents who attempted to take him in before giving up entirely on his hopeless cause.</p><p>Sarah, the social worker, was speaking to him right now, as he allowed his mind to sink halfway into his magical world. He couldn’t live there while awake but he could certainly find comfort in the smell of the forest flooding his senses as he sat in the wooden chair of Sarah’s office.</p><p>“-mmy? Tommy!” Sarah raised her voice above the usual calm tone, frustration leaking in despite her usual reservations. She rarely yelled at the other kids, but she was more often than not angry at Tommy for something. “Your new foster parent will be here in a few minutes, can you pay even a little bit of attention?”</p><p>Tommy smirked up at the woman, and both of them knew the next words out of his mouth would be a simple ‘No’ followed by a series of colourful swears. Thankfully for Sarah, a knock at the door stopped him in his tracks. Sarah sighed in relief, standing up and smoothing out her long skirt before crossing the office to the door. She opened it up and the two adults made introductions, as Tommy once again zoned out.</p><p>He didn’t want to be fostered by some random asshole. He was fine in the group home, ignored for the most part and barely tolerated. At least here no one really cared when he zoned out, didn’t mind his barely muffled screams at night, all of the children accustomed to at least one person crying out in their sleep every night. In the new home, he would be under the microscope, any minor screw up amplified and treated far more seriously than it had any right to be.</p><p>Staring at the man in front of him, he felt nothing but apathy. The man was blonde, a few stray grey hairs peppered around. His blue eyes sparkled with kindness, as he smiled down at Tommy, but the young child knew it wouldn’t last forever. Soon he’d be as enraged as everyone else was when faced long enough with Tommy’s antics.</p><p>He almost felt bad for the poor man.</p><p>Almost.</p><p>“Hi Tommy, I’m Phil.” Phil reached out his arm for a handshake, but Tommy stayed motionless. Sarah looked ready to start yelling again, and opened her mouth, clearly going to demand Tommy shook the man’s hand but Phil withdrew his arm first. He didn’t look upset, in fact he looked completely understanding, something in his face feeling familiar in a way that didn’t make sense. It was like there was something in his expression that Tommy had seen a million times before, despite never having seen the man before today. Tommy had to fight back the confusion he could feel rising up in him from crossing his face.</p><p>A few tense moments passed, Phil seeming unaware of the silence, smiling down at Tommy. Sarah cleared her throat, “Right, well Phil and I need to discuss a few things and sign some paperwork. Why don’t you wait outside in the hall Tommy? Close the door on your way out please.”</p><p>Tommy hated the hallway, every time he was forced to stand out there it meant he was simply waiting for whatever punishment he would receive for his bad behaviour. But he fought down his frustration, stepping towards the door.</p><p>“My sons are waiting in the hallway; you could introduce yourself to them.” Phil called after him and Tommy lightly nodded before stepping out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. He turned around, seeing his new foster siblings for the first time.</p><p>They definitely weren’t what he was expecting.</p><p>The more normal looking of the two was tall. Like, really tall. His lanky limbs looked like they were barely hung on by a thread, as if a light wind would dismember the older boy into a million pieces. His brown hair curled lightly on top of his hair, fluffy in a way you only saw on television. Tommy didn’t know someone’s hair could be so soft looking in real life. He had a dark grey beanie shoved on top of the locks, but they still peeked out over his brown eyes. A yellow sweater hung limply over his thin frame, stark against his pale skin. He looked like a walking corpse.</p><p>The other boy was somehow even more unusual. He was shorter than the tall boy, which wasn’t really shocking. But where the taller boy was lanky, this one was muscular. He looked like he could probably kill Tommy with just his right hand. He wore a bright red jacket, with white fur trim around the collar, and a surprising amount of gold jewellery for a teenage boy. But the most bizarre part about him was the pink hair pulled back into a ponytail. He seriously had bright pink hair, despite looking like some kind of pro-wrestler.</p><p>Neither of these boys were what Tommy had been expecting and he resisted the urge to run back into the office. He felt small next to the two teenagers, especially as that feeling from before crawled up into his chest. The sense that there was something familiar about them, like they were more real than anything or anyone he had met. Most people felt only half present, his dream world floating around them, making them appear out of place. But these two boys fit both in the real world and his dream world. A simple blink and suddenly the tall boy was dressed in some form of military costume, a bloody wound in the middle of his chest, and the pink boy had grown ears like a pig and clutched an axe of all things in his hand. Another blink and suddenly the changes were gone, and they looked normal again.</p><p>Tommy frowned at the two boys, the pink haired one looking more awkward than anything else and the taller one looking as if he really did not care about anything going on. He had earphones in and was staring at his phone, barely glancing up at Tommy before shifting his attention back down once again. The pink haired one looked increasingly more uncomfortable as time went on and the three teenagers stood in silence for a few moments before the tall one sighed heavily and tapped on his phone once, ripping out his earphones and making eye contact with Tommy.</p><p>The eye-contact only made the unusual feeling mount in his chest more and more, but suddenly the taller boy spoke up. “I’m Wilbur, this is Techno.” He motioned towards the pink haired boy. Tommy scrunched up his nose slightly at the odd names. Who names their kids Wilbur and Techno?</p><p>“I’m Tommy.”</p><p>“We know.” Wilbur looked him up and down a few times, before rolling his eyes and looking back at his phone, slowly stepping back without looking until he hit a chair. He then sat down in it heavily, lifting one foot up immediately to clutch his bent leg close to his chest as he leant his phone on his knee. With that the conversation was clearly over and Tommy could feel anger rising up inside of him. He was being forced to move in with these assholes and they couldn’t even bother looking at him. Well, Wilbur couldn’t be bothered, Techno was staring a little too intently. Tommy made eye-contact with the pink haired boy who suddenly looked far scarier now that he made been introduced. It was as if Wilbur making the first step reminded the muscular teenager that he was meant to be intimidating.</p><p>And he certainly was intimidating.</p><p>Tommy resisted the urge to shrink back at the intensity of his gaze. What was with these two and being way too intense with simple eye contact?</p><p>“Oi, would you two idiots just fucking sit down already?” Wilbur spat out, still staring at his phone. There was something odd about his voice, a slight, almost inaudible echo that Tommy must have imagined, because it wasn’t possible for someone’s voice to echo like that in this hallway. Tommy decided to sit down though, it didn’t make sense for him to keep standing. He sat down in one of the chairs lining the opposite wall from Wilbur.</p><p>Techno looked like he was about to argue, but Wilbur sharply flicked his eyes up and Techno grumbled, sitting down beside his brother. Wilbur seemed satisfied and looked back down at his phone.</p><p>More silence filled the hallway for a few minutes before the office door opened back up. Phil stepped out, smiling good-naturedly at Sarah and then at the three gathered boys. “Are you ready to go Tommy?”</p><p>Tommy nodded before picking up his backpack filled with his few belongings. Phil looked a bit sad by the small bag, but smiled once again, and lead the way out of the group home. They reached the gravel outside and all that could be heard was the crunching of the rocks under the boots both older teenagers wore. Tommy’s sneakers barely made any noise on the ground.</p><p>Phil spoke to Tommy as they walked, “So you can take the front seat in the car ride home, it’s a bit more comfortable than the back, especially when sharing the back with Wilbur or Techno.” Tommy nodded his head at the man’s attempts to be kind but he knew it wouldn’t last forever. Might as well make the most of it while he could.</p><p>They reached the car, and Wilbur walked up the front passenger side door, reaching out a thin hand to grasp at the handle. Another hand shot out, tan skin meeting pale and faster than Tommy could blink, Techno was there, leaning into the taller boy’s personal space. “Phil said Tommy could get the front seat you asshole.”</p><p>Wilbur’s mouth quirked up into a cruel smirk, sharp canine teeth visible, looking as if he was going to argue, but as he alternated looking into Techno’s eyes and the hand on his wrist, he suddenly huffed before pulling away from the front door and walking to the back. He pulled open the back door with a strength that didn’t seem possible for his corpse-like body before basically throwing himself onto the seat, throwing his middle finger up at his brother before slamming the door closed.</p><p>Techno and Phil both sighed, making eye contact briefly before making their own way to the car doors. Tommy awkwardly shuffled up to the front passenger door and pulled it open. He sat down, buckling his seatbelt at the insistence of Phil. He stared out at the group home as they pulled away, not pleased with leaving it behind even if it sucked. At least it was consistent.</p><p>Sparing one final glance at the tall building, he glanced into the rear-view mirror, shocked to see both of the older teenagers staring at him. Wilbur was smirking and Techno looked completely apathetic. And once again, Tommy felt like there was something familiar about them, something he couldn’t quite place.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy; *thinking* This pink haired guy is super fucking scary.<br/>Techno: *thinking* Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, how does one communicate?<br/>Wilbur: *thinking* I'm surrounded by idiots.</p><p>-<br/>Next chapter, Tommy arrives at his new home and becomes more and more sure that something weird is going on with this family.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Walls Don't Fucking Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy is brought to the home for the first time and finds his dream world bringing new insight to the people who are fostering him. Not all is as it seems with this family.</p>
<p>- <br/>Chapter title from Jubilee Line by WilburSoot.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The car rolled to a short stop outside the home of Tommy’s new and temporary family. It was a large home, two stories tall and seemed to tower above them. Tommy looked out the car window, as the others hopped out of the vehicle. Wilbur and Techno quickly walked to the front door, the taller teenager unlocking the door, and after both teenagers made it into the house, they slammed the door shut behind them. Phil stayed by the car, waiting for Tommy to exit.</p>
<p>As the young boy got out of the car, he tightened his grip on his bag. Phil smiled patiently at his new foster child, and the two walked up the path to the house.</p>
<p>“Sorry about Techno and Wilbur, those two aren’t the most sociable.” Phil apologised, and Tommy bit back a rude remark. The two teenagers were assholes but so far Phil had been nothing but polite and Tommy wanted to keep that kindness coming for as long as possible.</p>
<p>They reached the front door, and Tommy could hear music from within the house. Stepping inside was like walking into a story already in motion, family portraits and knick-knacks lining the walls. This was what Tommy always hated about foster situations, the knowledge that he was a stranger stepping into a well-established group. There were memories and stories he would never know but were so essential to those around him.</p>
<p>Phil guided him up the stairs, pointing out each of the rooms. “You three boys are up here, Wilbur’s next to you and Techno across from you. There is also a bathroom next to the stairs.” He opened the door to Tommy’s new room and the sixteen-year-old stepped through. It was a pretty big room, a large bed in the middle with a wardrobe and a desk.</p>
<p>From where he was standing, he could hear more of the music from before, much clearer than downstairs. Suddenly a discordant sound came through, followed by a quick “Fuck” as the music stopped. Tommy frowned and Phil explained, “The music’s Wilbur, if he’s in his room he’ll probably be practising music. He wears headphones with his electric guitar but not with the acoustic, so he isn’t allowed to play after 8pm. If he ever does, just let me know and I’ll get him to stop.”</p>
<p>Tommy nodded, and Phil left the room, telling him he’d let him get situated and comfortable before dinner in an hour. Tommy put his bag on the desk chair and lay back on his bed, closing his eyes as he listened to the music flowing through the room beside him.</p>
<p>As he lay there, the music slowly shifted from Wilbur’s current song to another song much more familiar, ‘The L’Manberg Anthem’. He’d heard the song countless times, and it was in that moment he noticed the similarity in the voice of the anthem singer and Wilbur’s singing next door. Listening more carefully, he realised the voices weren’t just similar but the same.</p>
<p>He jolted up in bed, shock flooding his system.</p>
<p>That song had been a part of him his whole life, he knew the words for as long as he could remember. He couldn’t normally hear the exact words that were being said in his dreams, just a vague understanding of the meaning, but the anthem had always been one of the few exceptions. He knew this song and he knew this voice.</p>
<p>Wilbur’s voice.</p>
<p>The voice seemed to grow louder and louder, and Tommy could feel himself being pulled down further into the dream world. Usually this would be a comfort, but this time felt more dangerous, like he was on the precipice of a cliff and one wrong move would cause him to go crashing down. Maybe not a cliff, maybe a tall pillar, one built of his own accord.</p>
<p>That was an odd thought, and Tommy tried to latch onto it, as a way to lever himself out of the dream and back to the real world. But unfortunately, his grip slipped, and he was falling into the dream.</p>
<p>He was in a cold, damp cave. The walls were suffocating and yet seemed to go on forever. He felt dizzy looking in any direction except straight down at his feet, so that is where he kept his gaze trained.</p>
<p>“Tommy, when I said you were never going to be President, that wasn’t a challenge. That’s true.” The young boy’s head whipped up, shocked at the words. He could understand exactly what was being said, the cruel tone of the words and he could place the voice. The blurry figure in front of him, usually impossible to distinguish, was sharper than ever before. The face was still blurred, but he could see how tall the man was, and the familiar fluffy hair.</p>
<p>This didn’t make any sense.</p>
<p>As Tommy began to panic, the voice continued, although the words had slipped back under the waves of understanding, coming out as indistinct noises, like a harsh hum. Some phrases still slipped through though, clear as day.</p>
<p>“We can kill them all Tommy.”</p>
<p>“Everyone who is claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us.”</p>
<p>“But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe, you have to be ready to give up the things you might lose.”</p>
<p>“Heh, Tommy you were never in charge, Tommy you were never in charge of this situation.”</p>
<p>As Tommy shook where he stood, panic rising up further and further, all he could do was plead “No, no, no.” as the mocking laughter grew in volume, until it was almost all he could hear. Loud knocks filled the cavern, as if something else was inside the walls, desperate to get out and escape. Hands scraped through blond hair as he tried to block out the deafening noise.</p>
<p>“Then let’s be the bad guys.”</p>
<p>The noise crescendoed, before suddenly stopping almost entirely. The booming knocking turned into light taps at his door, as the dream washed away and the cold air against his skin was replaced by the soft cover on his new bed.</p>
<p>“Tommy, it’s time for dinner.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be there in a minute.” Tommy called out; thankful his voice didn’t shake as much as his hands were. That was the most vicious his dreams had ever gotten, the sudden clarity in the noises so much worse than anything he could have imagined. As he took calming breaths, he noticed the music in the next room over had simply ceased, with the older teenager likely having gone down for dinner.</p>
<p>Tommy stood on slightly unsteady legs, slowly walking downstairs until he reached where Phil had pointed out as the dining room earlier. All of the foster family were seated at the table, and Tommy slowly made his way over towards where there was an empty seat, food already placed in front of him.</p>
<p>He slowly picked away at the dinner, the others both trying to include him in conversation and not make him feel pressured to participate. Tommy tried his best to keep up, but he was still shaken up by the dream earlier. Every time Wilbur spoke, it felt like he was back in the dark cavern and he began to clutch lightly at the seat of the chair each time, desperate not to flinch away.</p>
<p>At one point Wilbur had laughed and it sounded so much like it had in his dream that Tommy had launched forward for his glass of water, nearly knocking it over in his pursuit of something to drown out the nausea rising up in his stomach. Wilbur gave him a dirty look, clearly not pleased at being knocked into slightly as the younger boy withdrew his arm.</p>
<p>The rest of the dinner passed uneventfully, and he went upstairs for his first night in the new home. He lay awake for what felt like hours in the silence, not risking going back to sleep so soon after what he had just seen. He slipped away briefly, but the minute he heard a quiet, almost broken voice whisper “Tommy, are we the bad guys?” He had shot upwards in the bed, making his way downstairs before he could even think about his destination. He needed some fresh air.</p>
<p>Before walking outside though, he heard some voices coming from the kitchen, and he slowed. He didn’t want to get caught trying to sneak out, especially not on the first night. He wasn’t even planning on leaving, just to get outside for a bit but he was sure that wouldn’t really fly. He listened carefully to the conversation, realising Phil, Wilbur and Techno were all gathered in the kitchen. He snuck forward, peeking out slightly and seeing all three of them seated at the table, thankfully not looking in his direction.</p>
<p>“Are you going to tell him?” The pink-haired teenager asked.</p>
<p>“Maybe he already knows? I mean, it would certainly be helpful if he did.”</p>
<p>“I doubt it. Most people don’t know unless they have it explained to them by someone else.” The taller teenager looked ready to speak up and he was cut off by his father, “Will, you did not know, you just thought everyone did what you said for no reason. That is not the same as knowing.”</p>
<p>Wilbur rolled his eyes and Techno chuckled at his sibling. Tommy on the other hand just stood there in confusion, not understanding anything that was being said. He felt as clueless as he did in his dreams, nothing more than a vague grasp on the conversation, but unlike the dreams where the confusion came from not hearing the words, here he could hear the words fine, just couldn’t comprehend what they meant.</p>
<p>“Dad, I think-” Techno cut himself off mid-sentence, eyes shifting towards where Tommy stood. The young teenager barely had the time to dip back behind the wall, heart beating out of his chest. Techno continued speaking, and Tommy began walking back upstairs as quietly as possible, desperate not to get caught. “I think you should tell him.”</p>
<p>As he left, he heard one final statement that stopped him in his tracks.</p>
<p>Wilbur spoke up sarcastically, “What would Phil even tell him? ‘My children and I all have magic powers, and we think you do too?’ I’m sure that would go over great.”</p>
<p>What the fuck, what the fuck, <em>what the FUCK?</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wilbur: Music go brrr<br/>Tommy: Yo, this dude sounds familiar... Holy fuck this dude sounds familiar.</p>
<p>- </p>
<p>Next chapter, the confrontation that no one wants.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Has He Seen More To This Life?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy gets the beginning of an explanation but it's very quickly interrupted. </p><p>-<br/>Chapter title from 'Losing Face' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoy this chapter! Two chapters in less than 24 hours, pretty exciting.<br/>Also, I just started up a twitch account and I’d love it if you go give it a follow (if you want to) I will be streaming almost daily from 5-8pm AEST.<br/>The channel is twitch.tv/beeneeni</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In his panic, Tommy tried to scramble up the stairs and knocked into one of the hallway photographs. Before Tommy could grab it, it came crashing to the ground, glass shattering around him. He stood frozen, regretting not putting on any shoes on his way down. He had to either jump over the glass or get caught eavesdropping. Neither option felt particularly safe.</p><p>Hearing movement from the kitchen though he knew he had to get running. Hopefully he could get back into his new bedroom and pretend to be asleep, the others just assuming the picture frame fell off the wall for no reason. It seemed unlikely but his only hope, so he jumped as far as he could, hoping he wouldn’t make too much noise on the carpeted floor. He was shocked by the lack of glass cutting into his feet, actually succeeding in his jump.</p><p>Before he could run up more than half the stairs, he realised he had been caught when he heard Wilbur shout out “Stop!” The echo he had heard from the tall teenager’s voice many hours beforehand was suddenly booming, sounding as if Wilbur was yelling out across the expanse of a large cavern.</p><p>Like the one in his dreams.</p><p>Despite everything in him screaming to keep running, he found his feet unable to move from the floor, his body frozen as he panted in fear. Wilbur spoke again, the echo less extreme but still there “Turn around!”</p><p>All three of the people in the kitchen were now out in the hallway, wearing very different expressions. Wilbur looked vaguely angry and a little self-righteous, as if he’d been expecting this outcome and wasn’t pleased it had had happened but was pleased he was right. Techno was a mix of understanding and anger, looking downright terrifying in the low light of the hallway, shadows playing across his face, distorting his features into an animal-like snarl. And Phil looked concerned and resigned, as he flicked his eyes between the glass on the floor and Tommy.</p><p>The older man sighed, and flicked his head towards Wilbur, “Let him go Wilbur.”</p><p>“He won’t stay, he’ll probably run upstairs and take a flying leap out of a second story window out of fear.” The tall teenager scoffed and unfortunately Tommy knew he was right, as embarrassing as it sounded when he said it in his mocking tone.</p><p>“If he does that he won’t get answers, and I think deep down he wants those more than to simply run.” This was the most Tommy had heard Techno speak, his low voice level despite his clear frustration.</p><p>Wilbur gritted his teeth and spoke up again. “You can move Tommy.” And with those words he found he could actually move, as if whatever had been holding him frozen disappeared. That caused more fear to spike up within him, that this teenager had so much control over what Tommy could do. Memories from his earlier dream flit through, the controlling tone of the Wilbur from that world coming to the forefront of his mind.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>“Wilbur, can you please grab a broom and clean up this glass? Tommy, come back down and step around it, we can talk in the kitchen.” He didn’t really want to go into the kitchen with these people, positive they would eat him or something like that, but he didn’t feel that all encompassing need to obey like he did with Wilbur. He decided to comply but not out of some force applied to his mind, warping his free will, but instead just because he wanted answers.</p><p>As he slowly crept into the kitchen, he was suddenly very thankful that Phil had instructed Wilbur to stay away with a task. He had a feeling Phil had done it on purpose, to lessen his fear but he was still grateful.</p><p>The group, minus Wilbur, sat down at the table, tension hanging suffocatingly in the air. No one spoke.</p><p>“Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Anger rose up in the young boy, frustrated at the lack of speaking. He was risking everything by not just bolting immediately, and he deserved an explanation.</p><p>Techno and Phil made eye contact, before the man nodded. “Tommy, I know this may be hard for you to understand, but my children and I all have powers, and we think you do to.”</p><p>Tommy could feel his eyes bugging out of his head, shocked at the wording which was identical to what the brown-haired teenager had said earlier sarcastically. Phil appeared to realise the same thing, “Ugh, Wilbur got into my head. Well, at least it’s accurate, if a bit simple.”</p><p>Tommy blinked a few times, as it slowly caught up to him. “You’re fucking kidding me.”</p><p>“No.” Techno shook his head.</p><p>Tommy could feel a laugh bubbling up with him, not a completely sane one either. It was hysterical, as all of his fear and confusion exploded out of him violently. The pink-haired teenager looked at Phil awkwardly who just sighed and let Tommy tire himself out with his continuous laughter. As it slowly died down, it sunk in more and more for the young boy. This was all serious, they weren’t joking. Maybe they were insane, but they believed fully what they were saying.</p><p>“Magic powers?”</p><p>“Yes.” Techno spoke again.</p><p>“What kind? If you’re going to claim these things, I’m going to need proof you assholes.” Tommy challenged, leaning forward in his seat, closer to the muscular boy who could probably break him in half if he wanted to. Tommy really hoped he didn’t want to.</p><p>“Well, Techno has super strength, enhanced senses and he can’t die.” Phil spoke matter-of-factly. Tommy latched onto the only part of that sentence which made even a little bit of sense. He could come to terms with the other stuff more later.</p><p>“Enhanced senses? So when you turned to face me, you knew I was there and just pretended like you didn’t huh?”</p><p>“Yeah, I could hear you walking through.” Phil looked at his son, obviously unaware he had known about Tommy’s presence. Techno had obviously wanted Tommy to find out and kept the conversation going despite it clearly meant to have been a secret. Tommy was almost thankful. At least one of these people respected his right to know. Of course, none of this could be true and it all could have just been a lucky guess from the older boy.</p><p>“Wilbur can make people do whatever he says,” Tommy tried to ignore how much that made sense, how it explained the lack of control he felt over his own body earlier. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t, therefore that can’t explain what he felt before. “And I have wings.”</p><p>Wings.</p><p>Phil said it so nonchalantly, like he didn’t just reveal that he could literally, well probably, fly. Like he didn’t have extra body parts that no human should have. But that was something that could be easily disproven.</p><p>“Oh yeah? Show me the wings.”</p><p>Phil looked uncomfortable, but he stood up and looked around, as if trying to figure out how far he was away from the walls. Sighing, he rolled his back slightly before suddenly large, leathery wings erupted from his back. Tommy fell out of his chair in shock, as the wings bumped into the kitchen counters, knocking off a small pot.</p><p>Tommy could feel his heart begin to race, as he realised what this meant. Either all of this was real, or he was hallucinating. Neither option was good. The walls started to push down on him, the hard knocking from his dream suddenly pounding in his ears. He couldn’t seem to breathe in, each attempt getting more and more trapped in his throat, as he slowly strangled himself with panic. The two men in front of him clearly noticed his panic and rushed forward, and he stumbled back, trying to get away.</p><p>Suddenly he was grabbed from behind, bony fingers digging into his arms and holding him still, as an echoey whisper reached his ears, the light breath flicking some of the hair out of his face. “Calm down.”</p><p>His panic ended as quickly as it came on. He knew he was still freaking out inside but it was suddenly dulled, as if he was moving through molasses and his breathing immediately found its typical rhythm, the only evidence of his panic being the slightly ragged nature of his breaths. The hands on him let go.</p><p>“Wilbur, you need to stop using your manipulation on him. That is not an okay thing to do to people. Especially not so much, you know that!” The teenager’s father admonished him and Tommy watched on, emotions dulled.</p><p>Techno was stood behind Phil, making rubbing motions at his nose, eyes trained behind Tommy’s head. Turning around, Tommy could see Wilbur, who had a blue liquid dripping down from his nose. It flowed down his face, until a few drops splattered against the floor.</p><p>Drip, drip, drip.</p><p>It was the only sound that could be heard, the world having gone quiet.</p><p>The taller boy cursed, a hand coming up to his nose in a vain attempt to stop the flowing blue. Phil sighed behind them, walking over to the boy, tissues clenched in his hands. His wings were gone.</p><p>He held the tissues up to the older boy’s nose, pushing his head back at an angle, clearly trying to stop whatever was happening. Tommy shifted his eyes back down to the drops on the floor. The consistency of the liquid was weird, it looked thicker than water or any other option that made sense.</p><p>It looked like… blood.</p><p>Blue blood.</p><p>The bleeding teenager was softly cursing under his breath, eyes scrunched up in clear pain. Whatever was going on with Wilbur was clearly not a pleasant experience. Phil guided the lanky teen to the couch, where he lay down, his limbs hanging limply off the side, fingertips tracing the floor lightly.</p><p>He was smearing the blue blood on the floor, looking like a small child finger painting. He didn’t seem aware of the mess he was making, as Phil pushed the now blue tissues against his face more. Techno stepped forward, bringing new clean tissues, and taking the stained ones away. They moved like a machine, like they had done this hundreds of times. They probably had; they were a family after all.</p><p>Tommy once again felt uncomfortable, like he was intruding.</p><p>Techno faced the younger boy, who was watching the scene unfolding without any panic. “It’ll wear off soon.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The lack of panic, fear. Wilbur told you to calm down, so you have but he’s not the best with maintaining emotions, especially not when he’s tired himself out already. He can’t just keep demanding people to do things, it takes its toll. Even more when the person he’s controlling has powers of their own.”</p><p>Tommy shrugged off the implications, as if his mind wouldn’t let him dwell on the scary details. He would deal with it later. Techno seemed to notice this mental decision, clearly reading it on his face and sighed.</p><p>“By tomorrow I’m sure you’ll be freaking out again, but just… stay. Let us explain it better in the morning, once we’ve all rested.” Techno pleaded, something he clearly wasn’t comfortable with but his obvious worry for his brother outweighed his desire to remain looking like a badass.</p><p>Tommy nodded, he could already feel the calmness washing away, but it was happening so slowly. He did probably need to sleep this off, whatever this truly was. He made his way back up the stairs towards his bedroom, walking slowly. Turning around once more before the tableau in front of him fully went out of sight, he saw the family gathered around the tallest.</p><p>Phil was brushing his hand through Wilbur’s fluffy hair, muttering soft reassurances as he held the tissues softly to his face. Techno was stood nearby, not touching but providing his presence. And Wilbur was laying between them, clearly in pain but leaning into the comforting touch of his father, like a small child would after a nightmare. Tommy knew he was watching something private, but he couldn’t help the feeling of longing that filled his chest.</p><p>He hadn’t had a family in so long. Not in the real world.</p><p>But with the longing came a sense of familiarity, like the knowledge that while he had never seen this particular moment, he had witnessed and been a part of similar. Like children clutching together during a thunderstorm, their father towering over them and protecting them from the loud sudden noises. Like bandaging up an older brother after he’d injured himself while practising his swordsmanship. Like clinging to the last remaining family he had, after the betrayal of one brother and the death of one another.</p><p>As these images drifted through his head slowly, he could hear a warning voice. It sounded delighted as it reminded him, in a voice that didn’t sound familiar but reminded him of both feeling manipulated and belonging. It wasn’t really words, just a thought in his brain from someone else. <em>“History will always repeat itself.”</em></p><p>Tommy frowned and blinked away the mental images, staring one final time at the small family he was not, and could never be, a part of and walked back up the stairs. He lay down in his bedroom, closing his eyes softly.</p><p>For once, his dreams were comforting, good memories of times that never happened in the real world and yet felt so real.</p><p>He felt like he belonged.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: I'm freaking out man<br/>Wilbur: Now you're not.<br/>Tommy: Now I'm not</p><p>-<br/>Can you figure out what that voice at the end was? I doubt it but that's okay because I'm not good at slow build ups of mysteries lol. As you can likely tell from me revealing so much this chapter.<br/>-</p><p>Next chapter Tommy gets more of an explanation without one of his new brother bleeding out.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. If You Figure It Out, Tell Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy goes shopping and then learns more about magic, which just leaves him with more and more questions.</p><p>-</p><p>Chapter title from 'La Jolla' by WilburSoot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Longest chapter yet, not my best work but it will do until we can get to the more interesting stuff. I also wrote about 5000 words all up today (the two chapters I have posted today (in my timezone) and the plan I've started forming properly for this fic). Two chapters in one day is insane. I'm hoping to post at least once daily, twice when possible. I need to work fast because I have a serious problem of getting excited for stories and then losing all motivation in one go so it's a race against the clock lol.<br/>I didn't even bother reading this one back at all, you can probably tell.<br/>ALSO, to all of you commenting, thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate them so much, they are really helping me keep my motivation, I read every single one and smile like an idiot. I don't respond to every one though because personally that feels like just increasing my comment count, and not a very good gage of interaction, if that makes sense? But I seriously love them all, and if you have any questions I will definitely respond back, and if you really want a response, just let me know and I will respond. Hope that's okay with you all!<br/>Hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy woke up that morning after one of the few restful nights of sleep he could ever remember. While he always found his dreams comforting, they did not allow for a good night of rest. But the dreams he had last night, of fun stories told around a campfire and running through fields with the blurry figure of his best friend, left him feeling at peace.</p><p>But as the young teenager lay there, blinking lazily up at the ceiling, the events of the previous night began to push past the calmness he felt. He tried to piece it together, his brain still feeling slow from whatever it was Wilbur had done to him, but it was coming back fast.</p><p>His new foster family had magical powers. They actually had magical powers.</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>Tommy quickly got out of bed, changing into some of the clothes he had brought with him. He couldn’t believe he had only left the group home yesterday, it felt like an eternity had passed in this strange home. He stepped outside of his room, making his way downstairs, listening out for any sign of the others. Nothing so far. Looking at the clock on the wall, he noticed it was only 6am, so that wasn’t necessarily shocking.</p><p>He found his eyes drifting to the couch where Wilbur had laid the previous night in pain. At the time, he hadn’t been able to process it much, but now he felt somewhat bad for the older boy. He was an asshole but it hadn’t been pleasant to see all of the blue blood leaking out of his nose and his eyes scrunched up in pain.</p><p>Speaking of the blue blood, he looked at the spot where Wilbur had seemed to paint the floor with it. There were no remnants left, all cleaned up at some point before he woke up. In fact, the only evidence it had even happened were the blue stained tissues sticking out of the kitchen bin.</p><p>“Hey mate.”</p><p>Tommy whipped around, now facing Phil who smiled at the boy. He was clutching a coffee mug, having walked out of the kitchen. There were bags under his eyes, and Tommy worried he may have been part of the reason for it. “Would you like breakfast?”</p><p>Tommy questioned the man, before he could lose the confidence “Weren’t you meant to be telling me more about these powers?”</p><p>“I can do that when the others have woken up and trust me Wilbur probably won’t be up for quite a while. He doesn’t wake up before 10 on a good day. You might as well have some breakfast in the meantime, then we could go shopping, get you some more clothes.”</p><p>Tommy mused over it for a moment. He wanted answers but he was also kind of hungry, and Phil was right about it being better if the whole group was there. That way he could get as many details as possible. He had a feeling Phil wasn’t the most detail-oriented person out there.</p><p>The two sat down for breakfast, a bowl of cereal for Tommy while Phil ate some porridge. The silence was unbelievably awkward, but they didn’t have much to talk about. Phil tried to make small talk but Tommy was having a little trouble focusing on that and not the fact that the man next to him had actual wings. He was almost tempted to ask the man to show him again but figured that would probably cause him to spiral down his questions and he really did want to wait until they were all ready.</p><p> After they finished, Phil grabbed the bowls and quickly rinsed them out before placing them in the dishwasher. Tommy offered to help but Phil reassured him it was fine. By that point less than an hour had passed and they still had a while to go before Wilbur would supposedly be up. They decided to head to the shops like Phil had suggested earlier.</p><p>They drove in the car, before getting out at the town square. Tommy had only been to this town a few times, it was a couple hours away from where the group home had been located, so he hadn’t had much reason to go exploring. They walked around for a couple hours, buying some clothes. Tommy felt unbelievably guilty using the kind man’s money like this, but Phil reassured him that he was also getting stuff for the others, and he ended up picking some books for Techno and a new beanie for Wilbur.</p><p>Tommy had a feeling Phil had only done it for his sake but he appreciated it nonetheless. As they looked around, Tommy remembered something that had escaped his notice the previous night but now interested him.</p><p>“Why does Wilbur call you Phil? Techno calls you dad, but Wilbur only ever seemed to call you by your name.”</p><p>Phil smiled, a nostalgic look crossing his face before he picked up another beanie, running his thumbs over the soft fabric. “I adopted Techno when he was younger, he has only ever really known me as his dad. Wilbur on the other hand, was already in his early teens when I started fostering him, and even though I know he considers me his dad now, he doesn’t like to say it often. But he does sometimes. I’m sure you’ve seen how some kids handle emotional connections, trying to pretend they aren’t as attached as they are.”</p><p>Tommy frowned. “Techno and Wilbur are adopted?”</p><p>“Yes, I adopted Techno when he was about 4 years old, and fostered Wilbur when he was 13, and then officially adopted him when he was 14.” Tommy was a little shocked to hear this. Of course it made sense, neither boy really looked like Phil but he’d just assumed Phil had had biological kids and only decided to foster with him out of some kind of guilt.</p><p>Tommy nodded his understanding and the two continued walking, stopping briefly in the grocery store. Apparently Phil was running low on some things. Tommy averted his eyes when he noticed Phil pick up a box of tissues. Clearly the issue with Wilbur last night was not as unusual or uncommon as one would hope.</p><p>Continuing on, they got to the checkout. “Hey Mr. Za!” The cash register said, a young boy around Tommy’s age with brown hair and light freckles. He had a band-aid stuck to the bridge of his nose and smiled happily, far happier than anyone Tommy had ever seen in customer service.</p><p>“Hello Tubbo, how are you?”</p><p>“I’m good, thank you!”</p><p>“This is Tommy, Tommy this is Toby!” Phil introduced the two boys.</p><p>“Most people call me Tubbo. Do you go to school around here?” Tubbo smiled as he put all of the groceries into bags and Phil quickly paid.</p><p>“He should be starting at your school sometime in the next week.” Phil answered for Tommy who was very unsure about where he was attending school.</p><p>After their journey was over, waving goodbye to Tubbo, the two drove back home. It was now a little after 11, and Tommy really hoped by now that both Wilbur and Techno would be awake. Opening the front door, they found Techno seated on one of the chairs in the living room, reading a book and Wilbur was laying across the couch, lightly strumming a guitar. The two teenagers looked up when they walked in, Wilbur looking annoyed and Techno appeared to have been patiently waiting for them.</p><p>It was interesting seeing the dichotomy between the two boys. Techno was clearly fully awake, dressed for the day and alert enough for the conversation. Tommy would hazard a guess he had been awake for at least an hour if not more, certainly enough time for a shower if his wet hair was any indication. Wilbur on the other hand was still clearly dressed in his pyjamas, some flannel pants with a black t-shirt, and he looked like a complete mess. His hair was messy, sticking up in various directions and he looked even paler than he had yesterday, pillow creases clear on his cheek.</p><p>Phil smiled at his sons and Tommy helped him carry all the groceries into the kitchen. Techno quickly got up to help, and Wilbur actually looked willing to do it but when he stood up he stumbled slightly, blood draining from his face as he grabbed out for the couch. After standing there staring into space for a few seconds, he finally looked up.</p><p>“Sit and drink this.” Phil called out to his son, throwing him a bottle of Gatorade he had picked up while shopping. Wilbur managed to catch it and sat there, slowly sipping away at it. It was fascinating watching the boy drinking the blue liquid, of course it wasn’t the same as the blue blood from the previous night, but it definitely reminded Tommy of it. It was like he was drinking blue to make up for lost blue.</p><p>Once everything was packed away, they sat down at the dining table, Wilbur making his way over slowly. Silence passed for a few moments before Wilbur spoke up.</p><p>“Someone just say something.” He didn’t have any echo, so Tommy assumed he wasn’t using his power, but Phil spoke up anyways.</p><p>“Okay, so Tommy we have powers.”</p><p>“We’ve established this.” Tommy could feel annoyance rising up within himself, despite his best efforts. He wanted answers, not just to rehash the same things as last night. “But why?”</p><p>“We don’t really know. We do think we are drawn together though, able to find each other. You just get a sense of someone’s magic, even if you don’t know what it is or how it happens. I’ve had my wings basically my whole life, and so I went looking for people with… odd traits. To help them come to terms with it all. That’s how I found Techno and Wilbur. Stories of kids doing odd things.”</p><p>“What kind of odd things?”</p><p>“Techno was in an accident when he was young, it killed his parents but he survived, despite the fact the impact snapped his neck. He kept breathing, and the minute they moved him he just snapped it back into place and walked away like it was nothing.”</p><p>“He snapped his own neck back into place?” Tommy looked over at the pink-haired boy, disgust and incredulity clear on his face. The boy shifted awkwardly in his seat and Tommy forced himself to look away. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.</p><p>“Yes, Wilbur was a little harder to identify as magic though. He just had a habit of convincing people to do anything he wanted. That could just be a case of being charismatic and good at convincing people. But then he caused a man to pour boiling hot coffee all over his hand. That was when people really started to talk, and I came in to handle it.”</p><p>“Why did you do that?” Tommy asked the tall boy who rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Dude was trying to kidnap me, he fucking deserved it.” Tommy looked more confused and like he wanted to question more, and Wilbur snapped at him. “You don’t need to hear my whole life story, you fucking gremlin child.”</p><p>Tommy scoffed, pissed off. He had started to feel bad for the teenager, Wilbur was clearly still recovering from last night but he was still an asshole. Phil, clearly noticing a fight about to break out, spoke up again.</p><p>“So we already told you our powers last night. Now, we just want to know what your powers are.”</p><p>“I don’t have powers,” Tommy immediately denied. Wilbur snorted, taking a swig of his blue Gatorade. Techno sighed.</p><p>“We can sense magic, like we said. We noticed the magic when we visited the town the group home was in. We were able to trace it to you. We don’t know what powers you have but you certainly have some, strong ones I’d say.”</p><p>“That’s impossible, there is no way I have powers. You’ve got this all wrong.”</p><p>“You’ve never noticed anything unusual, something you did that you couldn’t quite explain?” Tommy briefly thought about his dreams, but he knew those weren’t anything. They were odd, and sure it was… weird that he could remember Wilbur in them but they weren’t magic. He knew it.</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>“Stop lying!” Wilbur snapped, launching himself up, a harsh echo covering his words. He blanched immediately, collapsing back into his seat but the glare on his face did not falter. Phil looked ready to reach out, but the boy pulled his hand out of reach, snatching up the drink and chugging it, until he looked like he would be sick from drinking too much.</p><p>“I’m not lying you dick!” Tommy shouted back at him, also launching himself up, but unlike Wilbur he didn’t back down, looming over the usually taller teenager, who blinked up at him in clear shock. He narrowed his eyes for a few moments, clearly thinking it through.</p><p>“That just means you don’t know about your powers, not that you don’t have any. You just don’t know.” Wilbur then stood up, his legs shaking beneath him like a baby lamb. But he kept going, attempting to stand tall, even as he walked crookedly back up the stairs and into his room.</p><p>“Sorry about Wilbur. After he overuses his powers like last night, he can’t really control them very well the next day, they just kind of pour out of him. He’ll control them better tomorrow, or even later tonight.” Tommy nodded before looking at the two Za family members still seated in front of him.</p><p>“Do you have similar issues? Overusing your powers?”</p><p>“Not really. If we overexert ourselves physically maybe. I can get some cramps in my wings if I fly around too long, and Techno can also get cramps if he uses too much strength, or sensory overload sometimes. But really, our problems come from not using our powers enough. Where Wilbur’s powers manipulate others and therefore take energy, our powers kind of demand we use them, due to their physical nature. My wings can start to hurt if I keep them hidden for too long and Techno-” Phil cut himself off.</p><p>Tommy was confused, very confused. Why did Phil stop himself?</p><p>“You can tell him about Chat, it’s okay Phil.” Techno spoke up, looking resigned.</p><p>Phil looked shocked. “You sure?”</p><p>Techno nodded. Tommy was even more confused. “What’s ‘Chat’?”</p><p>“Chat are the voices I hear in my head.” Techno spoke nonchalantly, like what he revealed wasn’t a big deal. “They call for violence, especially when I haven’t used my powers in a while. ‘Blood for the Blood God.’”</p><p>Tommy sputtered a bit, suddenly very scared. Phil noticed. “Don’t worry Tommy, he’s harmless.”</p><p>“I’m not harmless.” Techno growled.</p><p>“Okay, so not harmless but he won’t hurt you. Techno has a lot of things to calm down the Chat well before they ever get to violence and he doesn’t hurt anyone in the family. Ever.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t feel inclined to remind Phil he wasn’t really a part of the family. He’d only met them less than 24 hours ago. He was not comforted by the words but he respected what the man was trying to do.</p><p>“Now, that should hopefully have answered all of your questions for now. We should start getting you ready for school tomorrow.”</p><p>Fuck, school.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Phil+Wilbur+Techno: You're a wizard Tommy.<br/>Tommy: I'm a fucking what?</p><p>-</p><p>Next chapter: Tommy has a dream that isn't as harmless as you'd expect.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. It's Full of Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy has a dream.</p><p>- </p><p>Chapter title from 'Internet Ruined Me' by Wilbur Soot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! I am making a video essay about the DreamSMP and its fandom. It will be about what draws people into the fandom and what keeps them invested. If you are interested in helping out, I want to include a section where I get answers from fans of the SMP. I have created a google form where you can submit your answers, they will all be kept anonymous in the video essay, just so I can have more than my personal opinion.<br/>Here is the link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdSsR2k5zXg77Br0tUgCeYgeHaxAyI2gSdpOLTiYQP6KiNJJQ/viewform?usp=sf_link<br/>You have until 11:59 pm EST on January 10th to submit your answers.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the long and boring task of getting ready for school the next day, which mainly involved helping Phil fill out his academic transcript and sorting out what supplies he could take from within the house to use in class, he was excited to get some sleep. They’d had a good dinner, although Wilbur hadn’t come down from his room yet, which may actually have been why the dinner was so enjoyable. Now, Tommy had gone through his night-time routine and was laying in the soft bed. He was still shocked by how comfortable his room was, and it was due to that comfort that he slipped off to sleep in record time.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, it was not to the sight of his room but instead to the sight of a wooden bridge on top of a shallow river. He was surrounded by people, all staring him down. He could not tell what their expressions were, due to their blurry faces, but they felt suffocating in their intensity. He stepped forward slightly, feeling how sturdy the bridge was under his feet.</p><p>In front of him stood a man dressed in green clothing. He wore a mask on top of his face, and it wasn’t blurry like the faces all around him. It’s cold, empty smile bore into Tommy and he resisted the urge to cower. Something about this face haunted him, unsettling in its blank nature. A few strands of blonde hair fell in front of the mask but that was the only defining feature, everything else about this figure seemed inhuman.</p><p>Tommy felt his hands clench in fear, and it was then he realised he was holding something. In one hand was a bow, a leather strap wound around the centre to keep the wood from blistering his hand. In the other hand was an arrow. It looked sharp, the arrowhead reflecting the light of the torches on the riverbank. As he stared into his slight reflection, the fire twisted his face, making him appear like a creature dragged out from the pits of Hell.</p><p>He had to look away, hoping to find something natural looking for comfort, but his eyes were instead drawn to that white mask. His heartbeat was pulsing in his ears, as he clenched his fists tightly until they were just as white as the ceramic mask.</p><p>A voice broke out across the clearing, words clear in a voice Tommy recognised “So let me just clarify, if you win we grant L’Manberg independence, but we recognise it still as part of the DreamSMP.” The words filled Tommy with dread, even as he could feel himself nod. He felt like a passenger in his own brain, watching a train wreck unfolding at half speed but unable to do anything to prevent the tragedy.</p><p>This whole situation left him uneasy, like he knew something bad was about to happen, even if he didn’t know exactly what. Although he could certainly take a few guesses based on the bow and arrow in his hand.</p><p>“Please shake hands.” Sounded from his side, and Tommy froze, that was Wilbur’s voice. His eyes shifted slightly, face still pointed straight ahead, as he looked out of the corner of his eye at the man. He looked slightly older than the Wilbur from the real world, standing straight and more muscular, something Tommy had noticed the first time he’d recognised him in his dreams. But it was still clearly Wilbur.</p><p>He wore a military costume, that Tommy instinctively recognised as that of L’Manberg. He could feel the rustle of fabric against his own skin and knew that he too was wearing the same uniform. They were on the same side, allies in a way that Tommy could not truly reconcile with the cruel teenager he knew.</p><p>Tommy felt his body travelling forward, reaching out to shake hands with the green man in front of him. Tommy’s calloused hands grasped onto leather, fingerless gloves and he nodded once, staring into the distant eyes of the mask.</p><p>A bottle was thrown, by him, and suddenly Tommy could feel an overwhelming sickness wash over him. He could feel his life being drained away from his body. When he felt close to dying, like any second he would collapse to the ground, it suddenly stopped. He still felt weak, but he was no longer in pain.</p><p>“Once I have counted 10 paces, when I say fire you will turn around and fire. Do you both understand?”</p><p>Tommy nodded, the bow and arrow in his hands feeling heavier and heavier as each moment passed. He could hear the river flowing below, the distorted mutterings of those around them and he knew that in the next few moments he would either murder or be murdered.</p><p>“1, 2-” Tommy began walking, creeping forward slowly as his pulse quickened. He didn’t want to do this, he didn’t understand why he had to do this. He knew deep down that this was all a dream, not real and he wouldn’t actually die but it still scared him. Terrified him.</p><p>He didn’t want to die, even in his dreams.</p><p>“3, 4, 5-”</p><p>He positioned the arrow in the bow, placing it against the nook in the handle. His hands were shaking and he willed them to still, not wanting his shot to go too wide. He could not afford to miss right now, he knew that. It wasn’t just his life that depended on this duel, but also the fate of the nation. If he missed, L’Manberg would fall forever, never gaining independence.</p><p>“6, 7-”</p><p>He fought down the nerves. It felt like he was filled with electric wires, all cut and short circuiting, firing wildly without any care for how it hurt him. Much like the green man behind him. He knew he would show no mercy.</p><p>“8-”</p><p>This was nearly it. Kill or be killed.</p><p>“9-”</p><p>He was so scared.</p><p>“10-”</p><p>He wanted to hide, curl up beside his brother under the covers of his bed and cry, like he had used to when he was younger. Or when dream him was younger anyways. Real him had never had that experience, he needed to remember that. None of this was real, he wouldn’t die, none of this was real-</p><p>“Fire!”</p><p>He spun around, letting the arrow fire. He watched it soar through the air, moving at a speed he could barely keep track of as it flew towards the green man.</p><p>It missed.</p><p>Tommy’s eyes widened, and he quickly reached behind him for the other arrow, jumping in the river out of the way of an arrow flying towards his head. But the green man was faster than him at reloading, and Tommy only had the chance to launch one final arrow, which also missed, before he was being struck in the middle of the chest.</p><p>He gasped, dropping the bow, very real pain flooding through his system. Fire laced through his chest, blood curdling up from his lungs into his throat. He fell in slow motion, the water splashing around him as he collapsed onto the riverbed.</p><p>It was only shallow, his mouth and nose barely above the waterline, even as each blink filled his eyes with water, as it lapped at the side of his face. The red was slowly falling from his chest, but as a particularly strong wave, triggered by Wilbur running into the water, washed over him the blood started flowing out into the water, faster and faster. Water filled his lungs briefly as his head went under.</p><p>He could hear a dull crashing sound through the water, and suddenly he was being picked up and cradled to a warm chest. He hadn’t noticed how cold he had gotten, until a mix of the icy water and blood loss seeped his warmth out of his body. The man cradling him was Wilbur, and he got flashes of being small, having scraped his knee falling out of his tree. His brother had picked him up, wiping away his tears and making him laugh despite the pain. He was doing the same thing now, cradling him close and trying to wipe the water from Tommy’s eyes.</p><p>His brother, Wilbur.</p><p>Blinking, the blur that had covered Wilbur’s face cleared, and he could see him clearly, the fear and panic flooding his eyes even as he tried to smile shakily at the younger boy. Tommy worried briefly about the older man's pants, it mustn't be comfortable to kneel on the sand of the riverbed. </p><p>“You’re going to be okay, Tommy. You’ll be okay.”</p><p>Tommy shook his head, fear lacing through his chest. He knew he wouldn’t be. He tried to speak, tried to tell Wilbur but choked on the blood as it fell from his lips. He tried to cough it away but that only caused sharp pain around the arrow and more breathlessness.</p><p>He became suddenly aware of a soft shushing sound as the pain ebbed away, Wilbur stroking his face and hair. He was crying, he could see that. He realised it must have been because of losing the independence for L’Manberg.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry about L’man-“ He tried to speak, gargling around the blood but he did not get far before Wilbur shushed him again.</p><p>“It’s okay Tommy, I don’t care about that. You’ll respawn soon and we can handle it then, just rest now okay?”</p><p>Tommy tried to shake his head, darkness flooding the edges of his vision as he began to struggle against his brother. Wilbur just held on, moving with each shake to avoid Tommy being jostled too much. Briefly looking down he could see the arrow tracing the air with each movement and suddenly he felt sick again, reminded of the pain. He panicked, finding Wilbur’s eyes again, hoping the older man could calm him down.</p><p>Wilbur hummed lightly, the melody clearly one of the songs from his childhood that Wilbur would sing when he woke up from a nightmare. The man’s voice was shaky and congested, as if he were sick.</p><p>Or crying.</p><p>Tommy reached up a hand to brush away one of the tears from Wilbur’s eyes, even as another dripped onto the younger boy’s face, mixing with the blood from Tommy’s lips. As he lay there, his hand slowly dropped as his vision fully faded, the last thing he saw being Wilbur’s eyes…</p><p>…Before he woke up.</p><p>Gasping awake, Tommy took large, gulping breaths, thankful for being able to breathe without blood clogging his lungs like in the dream. He felt a dull aching pain in his chest, and he sat up slowly, cringing at the way his skin clung to the sheets below him, damp with sweat. His eyes adjusted to the dark slightly, and he frowned at how dark his shirt and the sheets were below him.</p><p>He was meant to be wearing a white t-shirt so why did it look so dark? And there was the same issue with the light grey sheets that looked almost black. It was probably just the lighting he reasoned as he reached a shaking hand out to turn on the lamp beside the bed.</p><p>He blinked blearily at the new light before looking back down at the bed. A scream tore through his throat as he realised why everything had been so damp and dark.</p><p>His clothes and bed were absolutely drenched in bright, red blood.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: Dreams can't hurt me.<br/>Dream *both in the literal sense of the word and the character*: Think again bitch!</p><p>-<br/>Hope you enjoyed reading, despite this just being a scene from the actual SMP pretty much, and that the title wasn't too much of a spoiler lol. I also hope I did an okay job building suspense, I'm not very good at it but I hope I was able to create tension. <br/>Make sure you fill out my survey linked up above, it would really help out a lot.</p><p>- <br/>Next chapter, Tommy wakes up the whole damn house with all his screaming, but still has to go to school, despite something sinister lurking in the shadows.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy deals with the aftermath of his dream in the form of a puddle of blood</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Updating a new chapter about 6 hours after my last one? It's more likely than you think. But seriously, I have been posting quite a lot, twice daily for the past couple days so I highly recommend you check to make sure you have fully read the previous chapters before reading this one (and any future updates as well.) I'd hate for you to miss something and be confused lol. My writing is already confusing enough as is,<br/>Trigger warnings for this chapter. Serious mentions of blood, and mild non-graphic mentions of vomit and nausea (bit more description with the nausea but not much). Also there is a brief moment where someone is doing an action they know hurts themself but doesn't care, I don't think that counts as self harm but I figured I'd just mention it, just in case.<br/>Chapter title from 'Internet Ruined Me' by WilburSoot.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It felt like Tommy had been screaming for an eternity after he saw all of the blood. The bed was covered in it and admittedly he didn’t know much about biology but he didn’t think a person could survive losing that much blood. He kept screaming.</p><p>Suddenly the door burst open. Techno ran into the room, quickly followed by Wilbur who stopped in the middle of the doorway, completely frozen. Techno was clutching a sword, and where the hell did that come from, and scanning the room desperately for whatever had caused Tommy to start screaming. Whipping around clearly to check behind the door, he made eye contact with Wilbur and turned around to notice whatever had the tall boy so freaked out.</p><p>Tommy could see the exact moment Techno took in the blood properly.</p><p>His eyes widened and he suddenly looked even more concerned. Where earlier anger had been the primary emotion on the boy’s face, now it looked like fear. It was not pleasant seeing Techno so afraid. It definitely caused Tommy’s own fear to double in size.</p><p>After the two boys made a quick assessment of the situation, pounding footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs and suddenly Phil was racing into the room, quickly but carefully pushing past the frozen Wilbur. He immediately zeroed in on the bed.</p><p>“Is that blood?” He asked, voice reedy. Techno nodded, sniffing the air once.</p><p>“It’s definitely blood.”</p><p>Tommy, with that confirmation, started trying to get out of the bed, arms slipping slightly as he scrambled away. He managed to roll onto the floor, and Phil immediately lifted him up, carefully checking him over for the source of the injury. He seemed to realise there wasn’t any, confusion clear on his face.</p><p>“What? You aren’t injured.” The man whispered into the silent room, and it was that which seemed to finally knock Wilbur out of his catatonic state, slowly shifting his eyes from the bed to the huddled forms of Tommy and Phil.</p><p>“Could it be a nosebleed? Like I get?” He was clearly desperate for an explanation, a wild look in his eyes that scared Tommy a little. His tense form reminded him a little too much of his dream in the cavern.</p><p>Phil shook his head, rubbing his hand lightly over the youngest’s face. “There isn’t any blood on his face, just the bed and his clothes. Besides, a nosebleed wouldn’t be anywhere near this much blood.”</p><p>“This is enough blood to kill someone.” Techno spoke up, causing everyone to look at him in shock. Looking around, it was clear Phil agreed with this assessment.</p><p>It was at that point that it truly hit Tommy. “What the <em>fuck </em>is going on?”</p><p>The three others in the room did not seem to have an answer, looking each other in the eyes. Techno sniffed at the air. “I don’t smell anyone in here. No scent at all, there is no way this is someone else’s blood.”</p><p>“If it’s not Tommy’s and it’s not someone else’s, whose blood is it?”</p><p>Tommy wanted to know the answer to that question too. He wasn’t bleeding, so where did this all come from?</p><p>“Tommy, what were you doing before all this?”</p><p>“I was asleep, I woke up because my dream scared me a bit and suddenly, I found myself surrounded by blood.” Phil looked contemplative about this, after a few moments speaking up.</p><p>“What was your dream about?”</p><p>Tommy wasn’t sure he’d heard him right. Why did Phil want to know what his dream was about? Did he want to apply some Freudian shit to it or something? Get him to start a dream journal?</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Just tell him,” Wilbur snapped impatiently, a slight echo to his words. Tommy felt like if he tried hard enough, he could probably break through the command, it didn’t feel as compelling as usual, like Wilbur wasn’t putting as much power into it as he normally would. But he couldn’t be bothered fighting it.</p><p>“I was in some kind of duel, and I got shot.” They didn’t need to know about Wilbur’s presence or the fact he’d been to this dream world before. It wasn’t important and it would probably cause them to ask more useless questions.</p><p>“Shot? Like with a gun?” Wilbur asked.</p><p>“No, it was with a bow and arrow.” It looked like Wilbur thought he was being sarcastic, ready to snap back at him but seemed to realise he was telling the truth.</p><p>“Where were you shot?” Phil asked him, and Tommy rubbed at his chest, the spot still hurting. Phil slowly moved forward, seeming to ask Tommy with his eyes if he could see the spot. Tommy was a bit weirded out, but pulled the neckline of his shirt down slightly, and Phil’s eyes widened. Tommy looked down in confusion and let go of the shirt in his shock, covering up what he’d seen.</p><p>There was a large, mottled bruise right where the arrow had shot him in his dreams.</p><p>It wasn’t bleeding so it still didn’t explain the blood, but it did leave him with more questions. Where the hell did that come from? He tried to reason with himself and the others “Maybe, when I got hit in my dreams I freaked out in real life and punched myself in my sleep.”</p><p>“That must have been one strong punch.” Techno spoke in a tone that made it clear he did not believe that was the case. Honestly, neither did Tommy but he was too freaked out to think of any other explanation, it was the only one that made sense.</p><p>He rubbed at the bruise, as if it would scrub away like ink. It did not budge, the dark red and purple splotch beginning to hurt with the continuous pressure, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. A light hand grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away gently and he looked up into Phil’s eyes who was looking down at him pityingly.</p><p>“Tommy, did you bleed a lot in your dream?” It took a few seconds for the implications to sink in but once they did he couldn’t believe it.</p><p>“What, you think this blood is from my dream? I brought it into the real world somehow?” He was laughing, a hysterical edge creeping into the sound.</p><p>When he saw how serious Phil’s face was however, he began to feel sick.</p><p>Very sick.</p><p>He rushed out of the room, pushing past Wilbur who stumbled back slightly. He ran into the bathroom, throwing the door open and collapsing in front of the toilet, throwing up. He knelt there for a few minutes, stomach clenching painfully as he sobbed. This didn’t make any sense, and it was beginning to terrify him. He felt like he was going insane.</p><p>After a little while, someone came in behind him and knelt down, brushing a hand lightly through his hair and shushing his sobs. He thought for a few moments it was Phil doing it but he realised the hand was too bony. Turning his head, after he was sure he was done throwing up, he saw it was Wilbur who was comforting him. He frowned slightly and the taller teenager hissed at him, “Tell anyone about this and I will make you introduce yourself as a shithead to everyone you ever meet for the rest of your life.”</p><p>The very specific threat and the fact he could probably do it definitely shut Tommy up, but he leant into the touch. He knew if Wilbur didn’t want him bringing this up, then Wilbur also wouldn’t bring it up to anyone else. He curled up against Wilbur, who had situated himself more into a sitting position. The older teen rested his chin on top of Tommy’s head, running a comforting hand up and down his arm. He was humming something quietly and it reminded Tommy once again of his dream, but unlike before when being reminded of his dream version of Wilbur caused him to panic, this helped calm him down.</p><p>It was like the memories he had of Wilbur as his brother, not as a stranger in this weird house.</p><p>He closed his eyes, drifting off slightly, but not long must have passed before Wilbur was pushing him away lightly. He opened his eyes and Wilbur was standing, “Don’t worry, I just need to get something.” He was out the door before Tommy could blink and he sat there trying not to cry. He was so lost and confused by everything happening and he could not handle being alone right now. Wilbur suddenly was back, holding some clothing in his arms. “Change into these. I’ll wait outside.”</p><p>He left the clothes on the sink and shut the door behind him. Tommy got up slowly, the cold tiled floor digging into his knees, but he flushed the toilet, removing any evidence of his earlier nausea, and then took a quick shower. After washing the remnants of the blood off of himself, he got changed into the clothes Wilbur had brought. Tommy swam in Wilbur’s clothes, despite the older teenager being leaner than Tommy he was also still taller, and it showed. But Tommy just tightened the drawstring of the pyjama pants and ignored the way he kept nearly tripping over the excess fabric. He quickly brushed his teeth and took a few calming breaths.</p><p>Opening the door, he saw Wilbur leaning against the wall, arms crossed and staring into space. He looked up at the noise though and stood tall again. “Phil and Techno are cleaning up your room. You can sleep in my room tonight; you have to wake up for school in less than four hours.”</p><p>“I still have to go to school? I woke up in a puddle of mysterious blood.” Wilbur chuckled.</p><p>“School is very important to Phil. Unless you are actively dying, he’ll make you go.” Tommy groaned but walked into the room. The room certainly reminded him of Wilbur. It was pretty messy, clothes and pieces of paper strewn about everywhere. Up against one wall was an array of instruments; a couple acoustic guitars, an electric guitar, an ukulele, a bass, and two instruments that Tommy couldn’t even recognise but looked vaguely guitar like.</p><p>He turned back towards Wilbur, noticing how tired he looked. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”</p><p>“In Phil’s bed.” Tommy frowned at that, confused. He didn’t know where Phil would go in that case. Wilbur explained. “Phil will also be in his bed. He’s got like a super King size bed you can fit at least three people in there. It’s for his wings, sometimes he sleeps with them out and the extra room helps. Besides, I’ve done it before.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I used to get sleep paralysis when I first moved in. For the first year and a half Phil let me sleep in his bed, so if it happened, he could help me through it. He’s cool with me sleeping in there for a night, trust me.”</p><p>Tommy nodded slightly, still feeling guilty but a soft smile from Wilbur calmed him down. The taller teenager could be such an asshole but sometimes he could be very kind.</p><p>Wilbur froze in the doorway, seeming to think about something. He wrinkled his forehead slightly, clearly debating whether to speak up but he asked whatever was concerning him. “Did you… draw something in the blood?”</p><p>“What? No.” Tommy responded.</p><p>“When we came in, there was this symbol on the floor beside the bed. I don’t think Phil or Techno noticed it, you rolled out and smeared it before they could have seen, but I was just trying to figure out where it came from.”</p><p>Tommy was shocked and a little scared. If Techno had said no one else had been in there, who could have drawn something except him? He certainly couldn’t remember doing anything like that.</p><p>“What was the symbol?”</p><p>Wilbur shook himself and laughed self-deprecatingly. “It doesn’t matter, I probably just imagined it.”</p><p>“Wait-” Before he could get further than that, Wilbur had turned the light off and shut the door, plunging Tommy into darkness.</p><p>-</p><p>The next morning Tommy wanted to bring it up with Wilbur, but he had a feeling the older boy wouldn’t appreciate it. Phil did in fact make him go to school and the three teenagers piled into the car, Phil dropping them all off.</p><p>Standing in front of the school, Tommy felt a bit of panic rise up in him, as Techno and Wilbur walked off before he could ask either of them where to go. Techno was not very social and clearly hadn’t thought through leaving the new kid completely lost and Wilbur seemed to be back to being an asshole, despite being nice the night before.</p><p>He stood there in silence before a voice suddenly called out to him. “Hey Tommy!”</p><p>It was Tubbo, the boy from the store, who ran up to him smiling happily. He greeted the boy and Tubbo offered to show him around the school, clearly noticing his confusion. The two boys luckily seemed to have many classes together, they discovered after getting his schedule from the office and they hung out the whole day.</p><p>Tubbo was nice but also chaotic enough for Tommy’s liking. He was polite to the teachers and never disrupted other students learning but he did make mischief, talking quietly or playing games on his computer instead of paying attention in English class. When Tommy asked him about it, he explained he was dyslexic and didn’t really like English, so never paid attention. Tommy shrugged and watched him play, giving him helpful tips whenever he could.</p><p>By the time lunch rolled around, Tommy was thankful for his new friend. He had a feeling the two of them would be very close. They were currently seated in the lunch room, a table away from Wilbur and Techno. Neither boy seemed to realise he was there, and it was a great chance to get more insight into who they were outside of the house.</p><p>Techno was calmly reading a book, sitting with Wilbur’s group of friends but not really socialising with them except when they directly spoke to him. Wilbur on the other hand was chatting happily with a group of kids his age. He caught a few of the names of these kids as he subtly listened into the conversation, as Tubbo rambled on about bees beside him. There was Niki, Fundy, and Minx and he could hear mentions of some people named Eret and Schlatt but no one seemed to like either of those two when brought up.</p><p>He zoned out eventually, finding listening in boring and instead focused back on Tubbo, who was still talking about bees. Tommy smiled, until he saw something that for some reason caused him to panic, subconsciously putting him on edge before he could consciously recognise it. One of the windows was being cleaned and in the cleaning solution that slowly dripped down Tommy could see a smile, as if someone had taken a finger and drawn it on the window. It reminded him of the smile on the mask from his dream.</p><p>In fact, it was exactly the smile on the mask from his dream.</p><p>He kept staring, before something internally told him to look to the side. He saw Wilbur and followed his eyeline also to the smile. Wilbur could see it.</p><p>He was about to get up and ask Wilbur about it, something in his expression saying he knew something about the smile as well, but he was stopped when Wilbur’s eyes unfocused, and he flinched slightly. Watching further, he was startled when Wilbur let out a short yelp, as if something he had heard or seen frightened him. The only people who seemed to notice were Tommy and the people seated at the table with Wilbur, including Techno, who all looked concerned.</p><p>Seeing the concern Wilbur spoke to his table “Don’t worry about it, forget that happened.” All of Wilbur’s friends and Techno looked away, a glaze quickly forming over their eyes before dissipating, and they all went back to what they had been doing. Tommy hadn't imagined the echo around that sentence then. Wilbur shakily got out a tissue from his bag, bringing it to his slightly bleeding nose. He wiped away the blue blood gathering and shoved the tissue back into his bag, out of sight.</p><p>He looked over towards Tommy, as if sensing eyes on him and the two made eye contact. Wilbur’s glare was steely as he lightly shook his head, going back to talking to his friends. The threat was clear.</p><p>‘Don’t mention this to anyone.’</p><p>Tommy gulped slightly, before looking back at the window the smile had been. The cleaning solution had all been wiped away, the smile gone.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: Aw, you do care.<br/>Wilbur: If you tell anyone I will literally destroy your life.<br/>-ALSO-<br/>Phil: Shouldn't you have smelled the blood before running in?<br/>Techno: ...Shut up<br/>Me, the author, who only thought about this while editing: Yeah, shut up Phil<br/>-<br/>I love writing Wilbur and Tommy as brothers, their dynamic is my favourite. I also wanted to state, I hope no one takes anything weird from Wilbur sharing a bed with Phil sometimes. It's purely a familial thing, not weird. Just thought I'd make that abundantly clear, because yikes otherwise.<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, more smiles begin cropping up in places and Tommy becomes more worried about Wilbur's mental state.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. it's a Visceral Coming-To</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Phil's just trying his best.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Short and not very good chapter. Sorry everyone, hope you enjoy anyways.</p><p>- <br/>Chapter title from 'Losing Face' by WilburSoot</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the school day passed without much hassle. After school ended, he waited out front looking around for Wilbur and Techno. He spotted them by a tree, Wilbur leaning against it and chatting to Techno. Tommy walked up to them.</p><p>“What do you want gremlin?” Wilbur asked, but it didn’t seem as malicious as normal. It seemed he was slowly getting on Wilbur’s good side, despite the temporary hiccup at lunch. Tommy still didn’t know if he should keep that secret, but he certainly would continue to make Wilbur think he was going to. He wouldn’t be able to figure out what was going on with him if he couldn’t remember his freak-out. It had been small, admittedly, but the fear he could see in Wilbur’s eyes when it happened let Tommy know it was a lot more serious than he was expecting.</p><p>The three boys stood there for around 10 minutes, as those around them slowly trickled out of school. According to Techno, Phil was always a little late, finishing work at the same time they finished school. Tommy didn’t know what Phil did for work and he was almost tempted to ask but figured it wasn’t super important.</p><p>Once Phil arrived, they slowly made their way to the car. After Wilbur moved from the tree however, Tommy found his eyes drifting over to the bark. There was a slight smile carved into it, it didn’t seem so fresh that Wilbur would have carved it, but it was still certainly recent. The sight of the smile caused a lump to form in his throat, but he forced himself to look away. He didn’t want to drag Wilbur’s attention to the tree, worried about what would happen if he saw it. He didn’t want a repeat of the lunch situation, sure that if he witnessed that again Wilbur would probably wipe his memory of both events. Wilbur didn’t seem the type to want someone to see him scared more than once.</p><p>They drove home, Tommy unfortunately in the back with Techno, Wilbur having managed to get the front seat in his distraction. It wasn’t too bad, just a tiny bit cramped and Wilbur had full control of the music, putting on some song that Tommy had never even heard of. It wasn’t terrible but he would have preferred the drive to be done in silence, so he could think through everything he saw the past couple days.</p><p>Once they arrived at the house, Phil motioned for Tommy to wait in the living room. It seemed he wanted to chat about the previous night. Tommy was both thankful and annoyed that this was happening, but he knew deep down it was for the best. They needed to get to the bottom of everything. He watched as Techno walked back upstairs and Wilbur to the kitchen.</p><p>“Has this happened before?” Phil asked, voice soft and even. It was like he was talking to a cornered animal and Tommy felt his shoulder hunch a bit at the tone. The desire to snap at Phil was very strong, but he knew that would just make the older man feel justified in his tone, which was the opposite of what Tommy wanted. He needed to prove he was handling this okay, despite how ridiculous the whole situation was.</p><p>“Waking up in a pool of blood?” Tommy asked, sarcastic but not rude. “No.”</p><p>“I mean summoning something from your dreams.” Phil smiled slightly, clearly amused.</p><p>Tommy shook his head. This was all crazy, but he didn’t really have a better explanation for what had happened. “No. Is that really what you think happened? Maybe it was one of you guys’ powers.”</p><p>Phil sighed, “None of us have a power like that, but we don’t know what your power is, just that you have some kind of powers. This could very easily be at least a part of yours. Have you ever had dreams like that before?”</p><p>Tommy wasn’t sure if he should tell him the truth. That he had been half living in a dream world his whole life, everything in his dreams feeling just as real as what happens in his waking life, even if it’s less detailed and blurry. Tell him that he had memories of this dream world, memories of an entirely different life, lurking below the surface.</p><p>Tell him that his son, who Tommy had only known for a few days, had been a part of his dreams for as long as he could remember, but only recently was he able to see his face and place his voice. It seemed impossible to explain, and even a man as well versed in the bizarre as Phil would probably not believe his explanation. But how else was he meant to get answers?</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>And with that one word, his best kept secret came tumbling out, in a jumbled mess that Phil could barely keep track of. He didn’t mention Wilbur, but he brought up the rest, all of it.</p><p>Phil seemed to try and keep track of everything, at one point bringing out a notebook and pen from his work bag. Tommy tried to ignore whatever he was writing, spilling all of his emotions and confusion out of his brain and into the otherwise silent room.</p><p>By the end, nearly an hour had passed, and Tommy wasn’t even sure any of it was coherent. Phil was definitely looking more and more confused, trying to piece together his out of sync story. Phil looked up at him after he was done, eyes poking out from beneath his green and white hat. As Tommy found his words slowing down, he caught himself wondering why Phil was still wearing his hat inside, his brain absolutely fried and clinging to the oddest details.</p><p>“Tonight, you should stay in my room, that way we’ll be able to write down whatever happened in your dream before you can forget any of it. We’ll piece together what is happening, I promise you.”</p><p>Tommy shook his head, fear curling deep in his gut. “You can’t, what if I bring something else to the real world. If this really is my power, which I don’t believe it is but whatever, what if you wake up in some blood like I did last night. Or I bring something worse, more dangerous?”</p><p>“Are there dangerous things in your dream world?” Phil seemed to be handling this pretty well, shockingly. He was really taking it in stride, which Tommy figured made sense when he had been raising super powered children for such a long time.</p><p>“Yeah, they’re called mobs. They’re like… monsters. There are these creatures named creepers which explode, an-and zombies. Other things like that.” He was spiralling and both he and Phil could tell. The man attempted to calm him down and after he sat, breathing heavily for a few minutes, Phil reassured him.</p><p>“I won’t stay in the room with you then. But what about Techno? He can’t die, so if you did bring something to the real world that was dangerous, he could kill it before it could do harm to you or anyone else in the house.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t really like the idea of Techno watching him sleep but figured it was the best option. He’d never had to deal with stuff from his dreams being brought into the real world but if this was what was really happening, he wanted to be safe with it.</p><p>“How do you even know anything will come with me again? Maybe it was a one-time thing.” Tommy asked, nervously.</p><p>“Once your powers first appear, they start escalating, they don’t just stop. It’s like a bottle of medicine with a tamper-proof seal. Once you’ve destroyed the seal, the bottle can be opened or closed pretty easily but you can’t stop anything from opening it back up again eventually.”</p><p>“That’s a terrible metaphor.” Tommy snarked.</p><p>Phil chuckled, “Well, metaphors aren’t my strong suit, but helping people with their powers is. I’ll make sure we figure this out, keep you safe. I promise.”</p><p>Tommy nodded and Phil stood up, stretching his back as some pops could be heard. “Never get old Tommy, it’s not pleasant.” Phil joked, before walking towards the front door. “I have to let my wings out for a bit, they start to get cramped if I don’t.”</p><p>Tommy nodded and Phil went to open the door but was stopped by a muffled whimper sound from the kitchen. Him and Tommy made eye contact before walking to the kitchen. There, seemingly frozen, was Wilbur. He was stood in the middle of the room, holding a glass of water and staring at a specific spot. There was a deep fear in his eyes. His mouth was closed, with him crying out without opening it, as if his lips were glued shut.</p><p>“Will?” Phil spoke up, walking slowly towards his son. Wilbur’s eyes snapped to his father and Tommy could hear him breathing shallowly and rapidly from his nose, he sounded like some kind of overheated or frightened animal. There were silent tears streaming down his face.</p><p>Phil walked closer, reaching out for the frozen Wilbur, who seemed to be begging for help with his eyes. Once Phil reached forward, he brushed fingertips over the teenager’s hand, and it was like everything holding Wilbur back suddenly broke. His hand opened, the glass slipping onto the ground and shattering into pieces. Everyone flinched at the loud noise and Wilbur looked ready to bolt, but Phil just lightly guided him away from the pile. He was muttering quietly, saying things that didn't make any sense, "Tommy came to visit, he came to visit, he left-" Tommy was confused by his name being mentioned and Phil also seemed confused.</p><p>"Wilbur, Tommy's here. He's not visiting, he's staying with us. What do you mean?" But Wilbur just kept muttering. As Tommy watched the scene unfold, he suddenly realised he hadn't ever heard Wilbur leave the kitchen while he had been telling Phil all about his dreams, and he certainly hadn't heard him come in to get the glass of water. Had he been in here, in the kitchen, the whole time, never leaving? How long had he stood there frozen, eyes staring at something the others could not see?</p><p>Tommy tried to step forward, unsure how he could help but feeling like he needed to. Phil shook his head at him though, which brought Wilbur’s attention to the shorter boy. Wilbur spoke up, voice ragged but echo clear “Forg-”</p><p>Wilbur’s voice was stopped abruptly as Phil quickly latched a hand over his mouth, muffling any further words. “No Wilbur, none of that. Don’t do that, we need to remember to help you. No.” The man was rambling slightly, but it seemed to calm Wilbur a bit, just listening to his father ramble. “Tommy don’t worry about this. I’ll help Wilbur, you should just go upstairs, get started on your homework.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t want to, wanted to help somehow but he could see in Phil’s eyes that anything he could try to do would not help in this situation. So he made his way upstairs, trying to ignore the deep feeling in his gut that something was very, very wrong with Wilbur.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Phil: Can I just have one day without one of my children having an emotional freak out?<br/>Wilbur + Tommy: No, sorry (Tommy: You're not my dad.)</p><p>-<br/>I swear, when I started this fic I didn't intend for it to be focused nearly as much on Wilbur as it is, but I love my version of him so that's okay.<br/>-</p><p>Next chapter, Tommy realises Wilbur isn't the only familiar face in his dreams.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I Can't Focus on The Future, Only My Short Sight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dream.<br/>-<br/>Chapter title from 'Your Sister Was Right' by WilburSoot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you want to get to know me more personally outside of this fic you should follow my twitch: twitch.tv/beeneeni<br/>I'll be streaming Wednesdays-Sundays (I think) from 5-8pm AEST, including my DreamSMP parody NightmareSMP (they won't actually be similar, just similar names lol). It'd mean a lot if you shot me a follow and checked out my streams.<br/>Also, I use a quote from a book called Slaughterhouse-5 by Kurt Vonnegut in this chapter, because it felt very poignant and I spent too long studying that novel in year 10 English to not use the quote dammit.<br/>TW for a vague panic attack type issue (nothing too graphic, not sure it even counts but it reminded me of my own panic attacks so here's a warning) and a bit that isn't self harm but does involve someone doing something that they know is hurting them and still doing it. Nothing graphic, just a mention made to it briefly.<br/>That being said, hope you enjoy this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy had completed his homework, and wanted to go back downstairs to check on Wilbur and Phil. He debated with himself whether to actually go down or not. He was worried but Phil had also made it clear it would be best if he could handle it on his own. He was broken out of his internal debate however by a knock on the door.</p><p>It was Techno, calling him down for dinner. The two boys walked down to the kitchen, finding Wilbur and Phil both seated at the table, food in front of them. Tommy sat down at his own plate, staring down at the food in front of him. Phil had said he always tried to make dinner as healthy as possible, so Tommy was shocked to see the dinner was Mac n cheese. When he asked Phil about it, he chuckled.</p><p>“Mac n cheese is Will’s favourite dinner, figured I’d make it tonight as a treat.”</p><p>Wilbur rolled his eyes but his expression was happy, as he clearly tried to stifle a smile.</p><p>“Really? Mac n cheese?”</p><p>“I like the texture.” He said simply, Tommy frowned in confusion.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Wilbur has a limited sense of taste, so he cares more about the texture of food” Phil went to explain but was cut off by his son’s remark.</p><p>“Basically, my tastebuds are shit.”</p><p>The family laughed, and Tommy did as well. He was beginning to feel like he fit in with the three others. It had been less than a week, but he trusted them, it felt like he had known them his whole lives.</p><p>After finishing up with dinner, he went upstairs into his room. Wilbur was playing the guitar in the room beside him, and he listened to that for a while before his phone rang. Barely anyone had the number, so he was shocked to get a call, but then he remembered he had given his number to Tubbo.</p><p>Picking up, it was indeed Tubbo who was calling just to hang out, and also apparently to ask for help with the homework. It didn’t feel like the boy was using him, just genuinely appreciating the help with being able to talk through his answers. It was useful for Tommy as well, and it was an enjoyable conversation.</p><p>The two talked for hours, joking around. He was thankful to have a friend at his new school, even after only one day. Much like the Za family, it felt like he had known Tubbo for years. There was something about his laugh and the way he would say certain words that resonated deep within Tommy, like a message from a place long gone.</p><p>With the laughter of Tubbo coming through his phone, the sounds of Wilbur playing guitar and Techno and Phil having a conversation downstairs, he felt like he was home.</p><p>After hanging up with Tubbo, he called down to let Phil know he was going to bed. Phil called back up, asking if he wanted Techno to stay with him that night to protect against anything, but Tommy hated the idea. He’d agreed to it before but the more he thought about it, the worse it sounded. He told Phil no, hopped into bed and went to sleep.</p><p>He was standing on top of a tall wall. It was thick, designed to be a walkway above the land, the obsidian blocks shining in the Sun, absorbing the light around. He was staring at the back of his friend, who was dressed in a suit. He couldn’t help but feel the boy, whose name was on the tip of his tongue but escaping him, looked like a young boy playing dress up.</p><p>But he knew that wasn’t the case, that this boy was being trusted with the very difficult job of leadership. He was facing down the green hooded man from his previous night’s dream.</p><p>“Dream, we have come to a decision.” The suited boy spoke up. Dream, that must be the name of the green man. This was one of the rare pieces of tangible information Tommy had ever gained from his dreams, names usually escaping him. Dream was the one with the mask, whose smile kept appearing in the real world. He was tied to this all somehow.</p><p>“Dream, you’re a bitch and you’re ugly.” Tommy wasn’t sure if that was really him in control saying that, or the body he seemed to inhabit. He could never tell how much control he had in these dreams, but right now he agreed with his assessment of the situation.</p><p>The argument around him fell on deaf ears, the words sounding more like static but he could see his friend staring down the green man, and seemed to recognise the moment he made a decision he did not like, his shoulders slumping forward. He couldn’t see his face, but he knew deep down there were tears in his eyes as he turned to face him.</p><p>“Tommy, I’m sorry.” Hot lead seemed to fill his veins in that moment. He was unsure what was happening, but he could feel the inevitable betrayal coming. So soon after the death of his brother as well… the death of his brother? What? He was always confused when his dream self seemed to have memories of events he never saw.</p><p>He was roused from his confusion, by the boy in front of him continuing to speak, a slightly hysterical laugh covering his words. “Dream, I have come to the decision, that it would be the best, the most logical thing to do for the nation for Tommy to be exiled from L’Manberg.”</p><p>Tommy was numb. He had been expecting the betrayal but not something like this, static followed as the blurry face in front of him began to clear. It was as if his dream didn’t want him to hear what was happening, the reasons behind this decision, but instead wanted him to live frozen in this moment. It reminded him of a quote he had read on the walls of a previous foster sister, a quote from some author she had liked.</p><p>‘Here we are trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.’</p><p>Everyone around him seemed to explode, screaming out a recognisable name as the face fully cleared.</p><p>Tubbo.</p><p>The boy who he had met days ago in some other world, some other life, was in this life his best friend of years, who was willing to exile him at the drop of a hat. Blood pounded in his ears, as he stared into the eyes of someone who was simultaneously his best friend and an almost stranger.</p><p>He liked the Tubbo in the real world, he did, but how was he in his dreams? Someone else who was so important for his dreams, who had been a part of him his whole life? Was his mind just assigning faces he saw in the real world to the characters of his dreams, and if so, why start now? Or was it something else, were the people in his dreams and in the real world somehow one in the same?</p><p>He couldn’t breathe.</p><p>“We can’t sacrifice everything for the music discs.” Tubbo spoke, anger clear in his voice, a dark expression Tommy had never seen grace his face, even when he was being betrayed by… someone and shot with fireworks by… someone else. The lack of names usually annoyed him but all he could focus on was his friend.</p><p>“Before L’Manberg, before everything, the discs Tubbo.” Tommy choked out, thoughts racing a mile a minute, unable to get a coherent sentence out.</p><p>“They’re just music discs.” His voice was cold, blood-chilling. He sounded like his father. Someone who Tubbo refused to be like, someone Tommy wasn’t sure Tubbo even knew his connection to. He sounded like the ghost of a stranger. “They shouldn’t get to dictate the future of an entire nation. It’s not the way, it’s not the right way.”</p><p>“How is this the way?” Tommy pleaded, desperate for his friend to see reason. “How are the discs wrong-”</p><p>“THE DISCS DON’T MATTER TOMMY!” He screeched, his words booming over Tommy, floating on the empty sky towards the gathering townsfolk below. “How could you not see that? They don’t matter.”</p><p>Tommy tried to argue back, staring into Tubbo’s eyes but the boy just spoke, voice clear and distant. “Dream, please escort Tommy out of this country.”</p><p>He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, as he was dragged away by the green hooded man. Staring into his best friend’s eyes revealed nothing, and he watched as L’Manberg slowly grew smaller and smaller, out of sight, the only remnant left the following shade of someone long since dead.</p><p>The ghost of… Wilbur.</p><p>Just the sight of the smiling, grey boy made Tommy’s blood run cold. What had happened in his dreams? He knew they appeared out of order, but he had never seen anything where Wilbur had been dead, not even before he fully recognised him as Wilbur, and not when he was just a blurry face he believed was his brother.</p><p>Standing there, watching from a distance, clutching an umbrella was a ghost of his brother. He knew that the dream version of himself recognised the phantom, with the name ‘Ghostbur’ rising easily up in his brain when he stared at him.</p><p>The yellow, blood-stained sweater he wore, too familiar to something the real Wilbur would wear made his skin crawl and he flinched back at the voice, innocently asking “Where are we going?”</p><p>The ghost reached out a hand, grey fingers, reminiscent of a skeleton, going to curl around his wrist, but it was as they intangibly passed through the warm arm of Tommy that the young boy woke up.</p><p>The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that he was crying. He had been crying in his sleep, light tears at first but now that he was awake it was full body sobs, unleashing a tidal wave of tears. He sat up and curled in on himself, wrapping shaking arms around his knees as he sobbed like a child. He could hear the door open, but whoever had opened it did not come in, instead heavy footsteps making their way down the hall.</p><p>It felt silly to cry over the betrayal of his dream best friend. He had known real Tubbo for only a few days and only really talked to him for one day. This boy meant nothing to him, and yet seeing him glare at him as if he was bug to be crushed had destroyed him.</p><p>The dreams had been a part of him for so long and so had the young boy he’d known as his best friend. In fact, the dreams with the best friend had been some of his earliest, when he was barely old enough to talk he had dreamt of himself as a young teenager, playing in fields and making flower crowns with the soft spoken boy.</p><p>Someone now walked into his room, wrapping him up in their arms as he shook. He knew once he felt an extra weight on top of his shoulders, a leathery feeling that it was Phil. The older man had wrapped himself and his wings around the sobbing teenager like a security blanket, whispering reassurances as he tried to calm him down. He instructed him on how to breathe and Tommy listened.</p><p>Techno had clearly opened the door when he heard him cry, and then gone to get Phil to comfort him, which Tommy appreciated. He didn’t think the pink haired teenager would be very good comfort when you were crying.</p><p>It felt like hours had passed before Phil spoke up, “What happened?”</p><p>“Tubbo banished me.” He could feel Phil’s confusion in the way he tensed up and so he explained to Phil his dream, how the figure who had been his best friend in his dreams suddenly appeared as Tubbo, how this constant presence throughout his childhood had exiled him, how much it hurt.</p><p>Phil listened throughout, calming him down when he got particularly worked up.</p><p>Eventually, Tommy got through it all, mentioning the ghost of his brother but opting out of telling Phil it had been Wilbur. That seemed too difficult to explain.</p><p>“So, your mind associated this best friend with Tubbo and made him your dream best friend?”</p><p>“No. I mean, I know that makes the most sense, but even before this Tubbo felt familiar. Like I had known him for years. It feels like real Tubbo is the same person as dream Tubbo, just in a different world.” Tommy knew he was making no sense, but Techno nodded.</p><p>“Reincarnation.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Reincarnation is a very popular belief about the afterlife, that after you die you get placed into a new life. Maybe you were reincarnated with Tubbo and you remember some of your previous life in dreams.</p><p>“But my dreams don’t feel like they are from this world, it’s close but there are so many things in them that can’t be real, so that kind of discounts that idea.”</p><p>“Alternate universes?” Techno offered.</p><p>“That makes even less sense.” The options right now seemed exhausted, and Tommy knew he should get to sleep again, somehow. But in the silence, he could hear guitar coming from Wilbur’s room and it seemed the others could hear it too. A glance at the clock in his room told him it was 3am, way past the curfew for Wilbur’s playing. Listening carefully, he could pick up singing in a ragged tone, Wilbur clearly having been singing for a while.</p><p>“I can’t focus on the future, only my short sight,</p><p>I hate to say it but your sister was right.</p><p>I’m a wanker, complete wanker,</p><p>A fucking waste of time.”</p><p>They all sat there in silence, worry clear in each of their expressions. Those lyrics weren’t exactly the lightest, especially considering Wilbur’s worsening mental state. Well, Tommy assumed worsening, he didn’t really have much gage on what Wilbur was like normally, but the mounting worry Phil seemed to carry with him made it clear his actions lately were not a regular occurrence. Wilbur kept playing, a different melody starting and Phil stood up.</p><p>“I’ll tell him to stop playing, you get some sleep.”</p><p>Phil and Techno left the room, and Tommy lay in the dark and in silence. He knew he wouldn’t get much more sleep tonight, so he was able to hear everything that happened in the other room.</p><p>He could hear Phil tell Wilbur to sleep, and then his sigh of worry as he guided the boy out of the room and towards possibly the bathroom, if Tommy’s hearing was correct. He could hear water start running, and the door close, with Phil then talking to Techno in the hallway.</p><p>“His fingers were bleeding he was playing so hard, he seemed like he was in a trance. He’s in the bathroom now, cleaning them, I’ll wrap them up soon. I’m worried for him, he hasn’t acted like this since he first moved in, when he had the sleep paralysis nearly every night.”</p><p>He couldn’t hear much of anything else but he had a feeling Techno was comforting Phil, as a light crying sound filled the night air.</p><p>It was shocking how much you could hear in this room in the dead of night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Me: Time for an exciting chapter<br/>Tubbo: An exiling chapter<br/>Me: An exciting chapter<br/>Tubbo: An Exiling chapter<br/>Me: Exciting<br/>Tubbo: Exiling<br/>-<br/>You get some ‘casual’ mentions to the Schlatt being Tubbo’s dad headcanon. I’m not going to explore it in more depth, I just think it’s neat and adds some depth to the canon SMP storyline so included it in here, very vaguely. <br/>Also, in my research for this chapter’s reincarnation discussion (just wanted to see if the Ancient Greeks believed in it (the answer is sort of? Some of them seemed to but not a lot) because it felt like something Techno would mention) I read a bit about shades. I already knew about the phrase, literally using it in this chapter to describe Ghostbur even before this but the article I read says shades are ghosts without memory or power. And I just thought that was neat, since that’s literally Ghostbur. Part of me thought maybe this was another hint of the story following Greek mythology but it seems just like a coincidence. Still, neat fact. Maybe I’ll write a one shot about the implications one day lol.<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, Tommy gets a visit from someone who you do not want to get a visit from.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Constant Pain in Every Dimension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy has a waking nightmare</p><p>-<br/>Chapter title from ‘I’m in love with an E-girl’ by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back! Finally!<br/>Sorry for my absence lately, I got kind of busy and then even when I wasn't actively doing stuff, I was burnt out from the stuff I had done before that. Wasn't pleasant but I'm back and excited to keep updating.<br/>I've also been posting some DreamSMP cosplay stuff on my TikTok (so far Ghostbur and Wilbur but I have plans for Techno, Tubbo, Ranboo Tommy and Dream all coming soon). Please check it out at @myrrinfaux<br/>Thanks everyone, and I hope you enjoy this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Tommy sat in his class the next day, he fought back the desire to lean his head on the desk and just go back to sleep. He had laid awake the whole night, worry and fear gnawing at his gut. He didn’t know how to cope with the stress his foster family was causing him. He wasn’t used to feeling any emotional connection to those fostering him, but the speed at which he’d grown attached to the Za family was genuinely concerning.</p><p>He was trying to pay attention to the history class unfolding in front of him, as the teacher explained some kind of Greek myth to the class. It was beyond boring, although he had a feeling Techno would probably be enjoying it, from what he knew of the older boy. Techno was probably the member of the family that Tommy knew the least, he was just always so quiet.</p><p>Tubbo was beside him, drawing small bees along the margin of the worksheet they had been handed. The printed minotaur on the paper was slowly being swarmed by small bees, flying around its head like snow. Tommy smiled, affection rising up inside of him. He had been a bit shaken when he first saw Tubbo that morning, but as he had begun rambling to Tommy, and another boy he had introduced as Ranboo, he had felt the tension drift away. Now, he just watched in amusement as the brunette hummed lightly.</p><p>Tommy rested his head on his hand, elbow propped up on the table as he stifled a yawn. Eyes drifting to the window, he noticed a bright green that didn’t quite blend in with the trees, and he frowned slightly. Every time he blinked it seemed to get closer, flashing forward without any visible movements. It was starting to form a shape.</p><p>Panic rose up in him as he noticed the white mask, blank smile shining in the morning Sun. He tried to lift his head, widen his eyes, do anything but he found himself frozen. He couldn’t move.</p><p>Once the mask had reached the window, he fought to keep his eyes open but they slipped down without his control. Suddenly the green man was inside, looming above his desk. From the little he could see out of the corner of his eyes, no one seemed to notice the man. It was like only Tommy could see him.</p><p>He stalked through the room, finding his way towards the whiteboard. Tommy’s eyes followed him on their own accord.</p><p>“Hello Tommy.” Dream spoke, a cruel tone twisting the otherwise polite words into nightmare fuel. Something about the way the man spoke sent shivers down his spine, like nails on a chalkboard. He couldn’t see his face, but he had a feeling he was smirking at him from behind the mask. He tipped his head back as he turned his attention to the board.</p><p>“’The Myth of Theseus.’ Your brother would have loved this class.”</p><p>Wilbur? He assumed he meant him, since he was apparently his brother in the dream world where this figure was meant to be. Tommy couldn’t speak but the mask still turned to face him, as if he had shouted into the void. All other voices seemed to fade away, as lead seemed to fill his body, weighing them down even more. It felt like a blanket of snow, clinging to his limbs, numbness flowing throughout his body. </p><p>“Not Wilbur. No, that boy only ever had an interest in political history. He was too blinded by his own hubris to take heed of the warnings in myths. But your other brother, he knew to pay attention, but he was just… too easily manipulated, despite it all. And then there was you, who didn’t care for any history, wanting to make your own. Of course, that didn’t really work out for you did it?”</p><p>Tommy grew more and more confused the longer the green man spoke.</p><p>“Oh, you still haven’t figured it out yet have you? Hm, I thought you were smarter than this. Oh well, I guess you just need a little push, just need reminding of your place. You can’t stand up against a god Tommy, it will always end badly.”</p><p>As Tommy felt his eyes slip shut and his head come tumbling down off where it had been perched on his palm, he could hear two voices overlapping. The voice of Dream, and another voice, familiar like so many others in his dream world.</p><p>
  <em>“Let me tell you a story Tommy.”</em>
</p><p>He was asleep before his head even hit the table.</p><p>He was standing in the ruins of a great country, staring down the pink haired man from his dreams. He remembered suddenly who the masked man was referring to when he had said ‘your other brother’. He remembered this brother. He was rarely in his dreams, which is why he hadn't immediately thought of him, and his presence was always coated in a thin layer of fear, but he was still Tommy’s brother.</p><p>He could see the fog that covered his face slowly drifting away and he knew a new face was about to be revealed. A new connection between his dreams and the real world. Even before the fog had cleared though, he knew who this man would be, his brain zeroing in on the pink hair that drifted on the harsh winds.</p><p>Techno.</p><p>“A story of a man called Theseus.” Techno’s booming voice spread across the cavern that divided them, jagged rocks blown apart by explosions pointing up towards their feet. “His country was in danger, and he sent himself forward into enemy lines. He slayed the minotaur and saved his city.”</p><p>Every fibre of his being was singing out with fear, alert to a danger that was seeping into the older boy’s voice. Sharp teeth, likes tusks, poked out from his lips as he smirked angrily at Tommy. The blond took a subconscious step back.</p><p>“You know what they did to him Tommy? They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people.” Tommy remembered his dream from the previous night and his blood ran cold. He knew that this dream took place sometime before the other one, but the words rang true like a horrific prophecy. “That’s what happens to heroes Tommy.”</p><p>Tubbo spoke up somewhere off to the side, “But he saved everyone.” And Tommy couldn’t help but agree, not about Theseus but himself. He didn’t know how, but he knew he saved everyone and yet they had tossed him away like trash, when he had been too blinded by naivety and bravado to consider the possibility that his hard work would be punished and not rewarded. Anger rose up, his cheeks turning red.</p><p>“The Greeks knew the score, but if you want to be a hero Tommy, that’s fine. That’s fine.” He stepped towards two structures that Tommy inherently knew were the building blocks of a Wither. Two withers.</p><p>Techno was going to unleash two withers onto the ruins of L’Manberg, force Tommy to defeat the foes so soon after the death of his brother.</p><p>Wilbur. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew the boy was dead, cold corpse laying somewhere nearby, blood splashed on unforgiving stone as open eyes stared blankly out at nothing. Tommy could see it, even without his dead brother in front of him. He recalled the blood stain on Ghostbur’s sweater and felt ill. Death didn’t seem to have much permanency in this realm, not always, but this time it did. Tommy wondered numbly how he could possibly survive a wither attack, the poison that would soon flood his veins, while his older brother and protector couldn’t survive a simple stab wound and a broken mind. It didn't seem fair.</p><p>Everyone around him were begging Techno “Don’t do this,” And he could feel his mouth opening to do so as well, but he knew deep down there was no stopping this. No stopping the gale force winds that were his eldest brother. You could only brace yourself for impact and hope you weren’t torn apart.</p><p>“If you want to be a hero Tommy, then DIE LIKE ONE!” With that the wither heads were placed, and they whirled to life in front of his eyes, immediately throwing exploding projectiles against the already battered land.</p><p>As chaos erupted around him, Tommy felt like he was moving through quicksand. Others bumped into each other in their fear, running away, and still he moved at a fraction of the speed of everyone else. Staring across the chasm, was the mask. “Do you see Tommy? Everyone and everything are under my control, in some form or another. Your best friend, your father, even your brothers. This world and every world after it are all mine.”</p><p>He wanted to leave, he wanted to be safe, to feel his brothers’ presences in something other than destruction and death. Or to at least be on their side of the fight. He may be Theseus, but he deserved a happy ending. And suddenly the world around him was fracturing, a heavy arm slung comfortably across his shoulders as he stared into a well-stocked room, filled with supplies.</p><p>“Welcome home, Theseus.” The voice sounded beside him, grip tightening in a familial way. He felt safe.</p><p><em>“NOO!” </em>Came the voice of Dream, clearly someone not used to not getting his way. </p><p>His vision splintered again, and he was suddenly surrounded by water, as it flowed around him, some kind of force stopping it from flooding the room. There were many people stood in the room around him, and staring down at him from above the surface. </p><p>“Think hard about this Tommy, you can’t undo this decision.” The pink haired man spoke, snout twitching in annoyance.</p><p>“Technoblade, I know what I’ve done and I hate me for it. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Dream spoke again, mask drifting to the forefront of his mind. “This is all your family ever does Tommy, all it ever will do. Betray each other every step of the journey. You do it, they do it, it’s inevitable. So just give up, play your role in this game and accept what you cannot change. Which is everything.”</p><p>He shook his head, fighting back against the voice. He didn’t understand what was going on, but he was sick of betrayal. Sick of betraying and being betrayed. It had to end. He would break the cycle. He would figure out what was going on and he would save his family and himself.</p><p>The water flooded in, drowning him as if it knew what he had decided, but he pushed back, breaking away until he was on dry land. He was in a home, fireplace crackling in the background as he watched his older brother play guitar, the eldest brother sat in the corner, flipping through a book. He felt small, in a way he hadn’t been seen he was a young child. He was sat in the lap of someone he instinctively knew as his father. Soft wings were wrapped around him, giggles escaping his voice as he touched the leathery texture, feeling the same as they had the previous night. The man was Phil.</p><p>This was his family. This is what he was going to protect from Dream.</p><p>The masked man stood in front of him suddenly, shoulders tensed, as everything melted away, like wet paint left out in the rain, and they stood in a void. “You pathetic little worm, I could erase your entire existence right now, reset everything. Bring you back in some other form, or maybe not bring you back at all.”</p><p>“Then why don’t you?” Tommy challenged, raising his head up high.</p><p>Dream clenched his fists, a crack forming in his mask before he reached up and straightened it, the brush of his hands fixing the break instantly. “It’ll be more fun to destroy you.”</p><p>With a wave of Dream’s hand, Tommy was flung back into the classroom. His throat felt ragged, as if he had been screaming, and as he looked around the room, he realised he had. Everyone’s eyes were turned on him, some freaked out and others amused about the embarrassment the new kid had made.</p><p>He blushed heavily, trying to stutter out an apology that he had just fallen asleep and had a nightmare, and that he was so, so sorry.</p><p>Tubbo’s hand rested lightly on his arm, worry plain as day on his face. Tommy tried to offer him a reassuring smile as the teacher motioned for him to come forward. The teacher lowered his voice as he spoke to Tommy, so the kids so clearly trying to pry wouldn't be able to hear.</p><p>“Normally I would be annoyed at you for disrupting the class, but I can’t really fault you for having a nightmare. You look exhausted, I want you to go to the office and get them to call your guardian,” Tommy was at first confused by how the teacher knew he had a guardian and not a parent, but then figured all the teachers probably knew of his status as a foster kid. “He can pick you up and you can go home and rest. But I expect you in my class again tomorrow and next time, try not to fall asleep.”</p><p>The teacher scribbled away on a note and gave it to Tommy, instructing him to give it to the front office. He grumpily grabbed his bag and walked out of the class, ears burning with embarrassment as he heard the laughter following after him. Stupid green boy, embarrassing him like that after attempting to traumatise him. Dream wanted to destroy him, well Tommy would destroy him first.</p><p>Anger fuelling the formation of a plan, he trudged his way to the office and sat waiting while they called Phil. The older man showed up a quarter of an hour later, worry clear on his face. Tommy let himself be doted over by Phil, as memories of his father in the dream world filled his mind. He still wasn’t quite sure what was going on with his dreams, but Phil certainly acted like his father in both versions of the world.</p><p>They arrived home and Tommy stepped into the living room. There, curled up on the couch was Wilbur, eyes screwed shut tight. Tommy raised an eyebrow at Phil.</p><p>“Ah yeah, Wilbur wasn’t feeling well lately, so I let him stay home from school.”</p><p>As if on cue, the boy’s eyes snapped open and Tommy could see tears beginning to form, the boy was making strange noises as he lay there. He sounded like a wild animal, trying to cry out for comfort but being unable to vocalise what he needed. Phil immediately rushed over, whispering comforting phrases and grasping the clenched fist of the boy. After what felt like an eternity, the boy was twitchingly moving upwards, as if he were glitching in real life, grabbing out for his father who pulled him into a hug. </p><p>“It was just sleep paralysis, you’re okay Will, you’re okay. You know what this is, you can breathe through it, shh, come on. I know it’s been a while since you've had to deal with one of these but you’ll be okay.” Phil kept muttering.</p><p>As he watched the scene unfold in front of him, Tommy couldn’t help but think back to a few night before, when Wilbur had told him that Phil only let you skip school if you were ‘actively dying’ and looking at the shaking boy, and Tommy knew that this was more than Wilbur ‘not feeling well lately’.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: You suck you green bitch<br/>Dream: Rude.</p><p> -also-</p><p>Phil: Wilbur is totally okay, don't even worry<br/>Tommy: *That one John Cena meme* Are you sure about that?</p><p>-<br/>This chapter was probably difficult to like... follow? But that's by design, I wanted to capture the weird fluidity of lucid dreaming. I hope it worked without being too confusing lol.<br/>-</p><p>Next chapter, the family have a little chat and absolutely nothing goes wrong, nope, definitely not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I'm Looking For a Window To Another World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy has a chat</p><p>-<br/>Chapter title from the yet to be released song 'Soft Boy' by Wilbur Soot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanted to write more this chapter but it felt like I was just summarising earlier chapters and I also fucked up my wrist trying to practise guitar so to avoid pain this is all you get lol.<br/>Trigger warnings for this chapter are references to suicide, references to fire and burning alive and also... like someone taking the steps towards suicide. No suicide happens but uh, it's certainly clearly going in that direction. So please be careful. In fact, from here on out the fic is taking a dark turn, so I just want to put a warning out for the rest of this story, it will be dealing with some suicide topics (much like how the DreamSMP does, never anything darker than the actual canon of the series). We will not however ever read from the point of view of someone who is suicidal, I can promise you that. <br/>And with that ominous statement out of the way let's get started.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Before Techno arrived home that afternoon, the silence in the house was suffocating. Phil had left briefly to pick up the older teen, leaving Tommy alone with Wilbur. The two were seated in the living room, watching a show on the television. Wilbur was staring intently, while Tommy tried to ignore the horror in front of him.</p><p>He had never liked horror, why watch something about ghosts or vampires when life itself was perfectly horrific on its own? </p><p>As the episode continued, Tommy grew more and more uncomfortable with the similarities between the main character and Wilbur. The sleep paralysis was way too similar to the scene that had greeted Tommy mere hours ago. The slow decline into insanity left him feeling as hopeless as he did whenever Wilbur stared into nothing. And yet, Wilbur smiled while the character danced through the silent and still home, surrounded by cobwebs and dust.</p><p>Tommy had to flinch away when the noose came into view, thankful as Phil and Techno chose that exact moment to walk into the home. He scrambled away from the living room and to the front door, leaving the enthralled teenager to keep watching. </p><p>He almost regretted his decision though when he saw the look on Techno’s face. He looked angry. Which was not a look he ever wanted to see on the muscular boy’s face. </p><p>“I ran into Tubbo at lunch today, he told me that you had a nightmare in class.” Tommy was confused by that statement, it wasn’t his fault he had a nightmare in class, sure he’d fallen asleep but he figured that should have been understandable considering the previous night’s events. So why was Techno so angry?</p><p>“He also told me that you had said my name while you were asleep. Which confused me, because why would you be thinking about me during a nightmare? What had I done that would make you afraid?” </p><p>Tommy resisted the urge to say that Techno’s very existence was scary, it felt like something that would just piss him off more.</p><p>“And then I remembered how you had seen Tubbo in your dreams. And it got me thinking, surely he’s not the only one of us you’ve seen. He’s not even magic, so why would he be tied to your dreams. So, you’ve been keeping secrets from us, and I want to know what exactly they are.”</p><p>For a moment, Techno looked like he had in his dream, eyes wild and dangerous, right before setting loose the withers. He could feel himself flinch back and it seemed to be all that Techno needed to confirm his theory. He pursed his lips and nodded once. “We need to have a talk.”</p><p>This was the moment Tommy had been dreading since the others had begun appearing in his dreams. How could he even begin to explain this to the foster family? They had taken him in, been kind to him even as their own lives had begun to fall apart and he had no way to pay them back, except for ruining their perfect lives.</p><p>His presence had done nothing but cause them all pain and poison their youngest. The boy who had been playing a losing battle with whatever was happening, barely remaining upright on the tightrope over a void the rest of them could not see, something Tommy was sure he had caused. After all, it had clearly begun with his arrival.</p><p>But the looks on Techno and Phil’s faces made it clear that this was not a conversation Tommy could avoid. They wanted answers and he owed them that much, even if the answers would just raise more questions.</p><p>“I have these dreams.”</p><p>Phil nodded, calm and encouraging. “We know Tommy.”</p><p>“They, uh… I’ve had them my entire life. They’ve always felt just as real as the… real world I guess. It’s like another life, that’s been playing out in my head, out of order and with the most vital details missing. Like I told you, I don’t see faces, or hear voices, and yet I can tell what’s happening. But then, I arrived here, and I heard Wilbur playing his music and it was like I knew his voice.”</p><p>This caused Phil to frown and look back to the living room, where the television was still lightly playing, talking drifting through to where they stood. “How?”</p><p>“I don’t know. But there was this song, one of the few things in my dreams that I could really hear a voice with, it’s called ‘The L’Manberg Anthem’.”</p><p>“L’Manberg?” Techno choked out and Phil frowned. Confusion filled Tommy but he kept going.</p><p>“Yeah, and while I was up in my bedroom, and I could hear Wilbur, it was like he was suddenly singing ‘The L’Manberg Anthem’, and I realised it was always his voice in my dreams. Then, I fell asleep and suddenly I could see him. He was in the position of my dream self’s brother.”</p><p>“So in your dreams Wilbur is your brother?”</p><p>“Well, yes but only since I recognised his voice. Then I recognised Tubbo suddenly and today in class I recognised you both.”</p><p>Phil’s eyes widened, “We’re in your dreams too?”</p><p>“Yes!” Tommy nodded, trying to explain himself. He knew he probably sounded insane, and he was waiting tensely for when the two decided that they didn’t want to have to deal with his shit anymore and would send him back to the group home. It seemed inevitable in this moment. “Phil, you were my dad and Techno was my other brother. And Techno betrayed me, and I got the feeling this was a regular occurrence, us all betraying each other.”</p><p>Tommy could see the uneasy looks on Phil and Techno’s faces as they seemed to have a silent discussion with their eyes. From the living room he could hear the sounds of thunder and arguing as the show continued. He needed to keep talking, to get everything out on the table. Maybe if they had all the information, they could help him solve this before they sent him away. “There was this figure in my dreams, and I saw him in the real world.”</p><p>“I don’t get it; from what I’m understanding you recognise the dream characters in their real-life counterparts. Why is this weird?”</p><p>“Because he doesn’t have a real-life counterpart. I’ve only ever seen him in my dreams, and when he appeared in the real world no one else seemed to see him. It was like he wasn’t really there, like a hallucination from my dream world but in real life.”</p><p>“Like sleep paralysis.” Phil spoke up, frown clear on his face.</p><p>Now it was Tommy’s turn to ask questions. “What do you mean sleep paralysis? I’ve heard you mention it a few times, but how is this that?”</p><p>“It’s not really but the same basic principles. During sleep paralysis, the mind is awake while the body is still asleep. You can’t move because the body paralyses itself while you sleep so you don’t move around. People with sleep paralysis often see hallucinations, like nightmares, in the real world because they are still half asleep. You saw this figure from your dreams in the real world, same basic idea.”</p><p>“I couldn’t move when I saw him either, it was like I was frozen. He kept saying things about how he controlled this world as well as the dream one, I think at one point he called, or at least implied, that he was a god. Even his name felt like it was connected to everything, it was-”</p><p>“Dream.” Techno interrupted and Tommy whipped his head around to fully face him. His pink hair was falling in front of his furrowed eyes.</p><p>“How did you know that?” Tommy whispered, words coming out strangled. It was like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, leaving him breathless and gasping. He could imagine Dream’s smile, through the window and he had to blink a few times to clear it from his vision. It felt like he was being haunted.</p><p>“The chat kept saying it to me, yelling it at me. They knew the name.”</p><p>“So, your chat knows the name of the apparent god that controls this world and a world that only Tommy dreams about? This is… a lot.” Phil sighed, seeming to age a couple decades as he slumped in place, rubbing at his neck.</p><p>Techno nodded, and then added "Phil, do you remember when I was a kid, and I'd ask you to play pretend with me. The name of the country I helped save in our stories? The one I just, made up one day, with no idea where the name actually came from?"</p><p>"L'Manberg." Phil realised, eyes widening at the connection and Tommy couldn't help but be shocked. What were the chances that Techno had made up a country as a kid that shared a name with the country in his dreams. “Tommy, what have you got yourself mixed up in? Because this clearly isn’t some normal dreams, I’d say these are your powers, somehow.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause problems for your family. You can take me back.” He bowed his head, not wanting the older man to see the tears in his eyes. He was a big man, he wasn’t about to cry over a family that barely knew him, even if he had memories of them in another world. They weren’t the same people as his dreams. Probably for the best, considering the messed-up nature of everything that he could remember of that world. He missed when his dreams mainly consisted of running through flower fields and selling drugs out the back of a van with a faceless brother.</p><p>“Tommy, we aren’t going to take you back. Especially not over something like this, you can’t control this. We’ll help you figure out what this is, and we will help you do whatever you want to do about it. This isn’t your fault.”</p><p>“But what about Wilbur?”</p><p>“Wilbur isn’t your fault. Yes, something is definitely going on, but we will fix it. It’s not your fault.” Phil told him again, and he couldn’t help but believe him. The way he said it made it feel true, like they would actually be able to figure out what was happening. He smiled in relief at the older man, who opened his arms wide.</p><p>Tommy launched forward; he wasn’t usually a hugger, but all the stress of the past week came flying out of him. He sobbed loudly, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel embarrassed. This was just like in his dreams, the rare family connection he received a taste of but had never been able to replicate in the real world. But it was here, and it was healing.</p><p>They stayed in that embrace before he heard a sniffing sound behind him, and turning his head he saw Techno. The teenager’s nose was pointed upwards in the air, and he seemed to be sniffing for something. Some smell.</p><p>Phil also seemed to notice, stilling his hands where they had been rubbing Tommy’s arms. Techno was very concentrated, clearly trying to figure out what he was smelling before suddenly his eyes widened and he snapped his head back down to face them.</p><p>“Gasoline.”</p><p>With that one-word Tommy felt all of the blood drain out of his face. He didn’t know where exactly the gasoline smell must have been coming from, but he knew it couldn’t be good. Phil and Tommy quickly let go, and Phil attempted to herald Tommy out the door, into the outside air. But he stopped suddenly.</p><p>“Where’s Wilbur?”</p><p>“He should still be in the living room.” The three of them quickly burst into the living room. There was no one there. Wilbur had left the room, blankets still piled up on the couch. The television kept playing, as the family on screen panicked around looking for their missing child. Tommy ignored the sick feeling at the parallels as Techno ran up the stairs, tearing from room to room. Phil quickly pushed Tommy outside before checking the downstairs and Tommy stood there, as the calling of the family on screen joined the calls of the real world.</p><p>He could hear a dripping noise coming from somewhere outside, and he wandered around the house, starting to walk towards it. The air was still and silent, and he didn't even noticed when Phil and Techno joined him outside. </p><p>There, standing silhouetted by the house was Wilbur. He was staring at the house, up at its foreboding structure. Where typically the house seemed like a comfortable family home, right now it seemed like it towered above them all, swallowing up the light of the sun and casting twisting shadows on the ground. The angles distorted, until it looked like a house of horrors out of some gothic painting.</p><p>Wilbur turned around, and Tommy quickly realised what the dripping noise was.</p><p>Wilbur was drenched in something, and if the gasp from Techno was any indication it was gasoline. It dripped from his frame, clothes sticking to him and highlighting his thin body. With the shadows playing on his back, his face was dark and hollow. He had never looked more like a skeleton. In his spindly hand was a lighter, his thumb pressed lightly atop of the switch.</p><p>If he put even a little bit of pressure, he would go up in flames. Tommy felt like he was staring at a corpse, a dead man walking. Wilbur spoke up, his voice thready and soft, sounding like a scared little child as he cried lightly.</p><p>“Dream says it’s time to wake up.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: Dream sucks.<br/>Techno: I know, my chat just told me so.<br/>Phil: Who the fuck is Dream?<br/>-<br/>Conversation heavy chapter, oops.<br/>I wonder if anyone caught what show Wilbur was watching. I think it's pretty obvious, I'm going to avoid saying the name to avoid anyone getting spoiled for the stuff I mentioned in this chapter but honestly, both C!Wilbur and my version of C!Wilbur give me such strong vibes of one of the characters (my version of Wilbur specifically, like damn, I swear it was unintentional at first but now I'm leaning into it).<br/>Also, that final scene was hardcore inspired by the episode of Teen Wolf 'Motel California' that episode has stuck with me and it came out in this scene.<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, the family tries to stop Wilbur.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Be Gone Before You Wake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The family try to stop Wilbur<br/>-<br/>Chapter title from 'La Jolla' from Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter I give up and give in to my version of Wilbur's main character energy. It's pretty short today but I have a friend's birthday in 3 hours and I'm still painting his present so I don't have much time to write this one.<br/>Trigger warnings for this chapter, references to suicide and a suicide attempt. Mentions of fire. Also, depersonalization/derealization, however from the perspective of someone observing someone else go through this, you won't be reading the POV of a derealization episode, but you will be hearing the character undergoing express these feeling somewhat.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wilbur, put down the lighter.” Phil’s voice broke through the silence. His voice held strong and steady, despite the shaking of his outstretched hand. He was slowly inching closer, clearly hesitant to move too fast and risk Wilbur using the lighter.</p><p>Wilbur shook his head violently, causing drops of gasoline to fly off his soaked bangs and splash onto the grass. He was trembling where he stood, fear present in his eyes.</p><p>He didn’t look like someone who wanted to die, simply someone who wanted his struggles to all be over.</p><p>Techno was inching behind him, slowly moving out of sight of the tall boy. Tommy was sure that if Wilbur was in a more present state of mind, he would notice the movements of his brother but thankfully he seemed transfixed on staring down his father. By this point, the shifting winds had brought the smell of gasoline to Tommy, and he resisted the urge to choke on the air. It burned his nostrils, the harsh scent feeling like fire as he breathed it in.</p><p>He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be doused in the stuff, how badly Wilbur’s airways were being burned with it.</p><p>“Will, please, we can talk about this. Just put down the lighter and come inside, we can wash you off.” Phil pleaded.</p><p>“No, no I can’t. I need to wake up.” Wilbur shouted, he made a step forward but stumbled, and Tommy felt his breathing stutter to a halt as he witnessed the teen throw out one hand, grasping wildly at the air. Thankfully, he seemed at least somewhat aware of the lighter still in his other hand, keeping those fingers still, not accidentally pressing down. But Tommy wasn’t sure how long that awareness would last, or when Wilbur’s resolve would strengthen and he’d use the lighter, so they needed to work fast.</p><p>“Wake up from what?”</p><p>“I have to wake up.” He repeated, not seeming to have a real answer to Phil’s questions. He went to turn back around to look at the house, where Techno was slowly sneaking up behind him. If he turned too far, he would see his brother and who knew how he’d react.</p><p>Tommy acted fast, shouting out, “Why did Dream tell you to wake up?”</p><p>Wilbur turned back around, making eye contact with the boy. “He showed me. He showed me everything, I just need to wake up and I’ll be free of it all. I just have to wake up.” He went back to rambling, his words drifting off into nonsense. He was losing even more of his grip with reality right before their eyes.</p><p>It was a race against his mind.</p><p>Phil was moving closer, yet he was so far from his son, as was Techno. Tommy had a feeling at this rate they wouldn’t make it.</p><p>With his eye contact, Tommy could see the moment that Wilbur made his decision. Clarity filled his eyes, which suddenly shone with acceptance and a soft smile drifted onto his face. “I’m sorry, I love you all so much.”</p><p>He closed his eyes and Tommy felt all of his fear rise up within himself. This couldn’t be happening; he couldn’t be about to see the boy die in front of him. He couldn’t be about to see this young man, who had barely started his life yet, go up in literal flames. He wished that his dream world and its potions were real in this moment. That someone could simply take a swig of a glistening liquid and be filled with a speed beyond humanly possible. A shout tore out of his throat, ripping through the acrid film that had begun to coat his mouth from the scent of the gasoline. “No!”</p><p>With that, the rest of the Za family launched into action. Phil moved fast, wings whipping out from his back in the blink of an eye and he slammed into his son, wrapping his hands around the skeletal fingers clutching the lighter.</p><p>He ripped it out of his grasp and threw it backwards, towards Techno who caught it easily. Within the next instant, Wilbur and Phil were across the grass, leant against a tree, as Phil wrapped his limbs tightly around his son. Wilbur’s hand still moved, thumb pressing down on where the lighter switch had been, repeatedly making the motions. It didn’t seem to register in his brain for a few seconds, as he kept trying to find something that wasn’t there. Once he realised however, Wilbur began thrashing in his father’s grasp, crying out in frustration.</p><p>Tommy could feel the tears leak out of his eyes. A quick glance at Techno showed the same wet face on the older boy, who stared down in abject horror at the simple lighter that had nearly torn apart his whole world. It was a simple yellow, like the sweater Tommy saw Wilbur almost exclusively wear. It was so bright for something that had nearly taken Techno’s brother from him.</p><p>Phil was sobbing as he ran a shaking hand through Wilbur’s soaked hair, and Tommy saw the exact moment the realisation of what had nearly happened came crashing down on him. He buried his face into the neck of his son, who had given up his fight and simply sunk down, all of the tension leaving his limbs until he looked like a rag doll.</p><p>Exhaustion slammed into Tommy, and he collapsed to the ground, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. The family remained there in silence for what felt like an eternity, the only sounds being the gasping sobs and the soft murmurs of Phil. Tommy felt like he was floating, adrenaline flooding out of him and leaving him lightheaded. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears, and it felt like a hand had reached into his gut and started shifting around his insides.</p><p>Under the sound of his own pulse, he could hear the words coming from where Phil and Wilbur sat.</p><p>“Please, Will, never do that again.” Phil begged, the sheer emotions in his voice making Tommy feel uncomfortable. It was awkward listening in on the conversation, but it also offered him an anchor to ground himself against to fight against the sick feeling he was experiencing.</p><p>“I-I have to wake up Phil.” Wilbur responded, and Phil reacted by tightening his grip as if reassuring both himself and his son that Wilbur was still there, still present and alive.</p><p>“You are awake, Will. You’re awake.” Phil reassured him. In this moment, they didn’t look like they had narrowly avoided disaster, instead just like a young father comforting his child after a nightmare. The only indication of what had really happened was the messy hair, tear stained cheeks and the gasoline that still clung to every inch of Wilbur’s skin and had begun to transfer to Phil.</p><p>Tommy made his way over to Techno, offering his silent support to the older teenager. His pink hair had fallen in front of his face, and Tommy allowed him to hide the tears that streamed down his cheeks.</p><p>Guilt curled up in his gut, this was clearly caused by his dreams, they were hurting the Za family. But he remembered Phil’s words, that they would sort this out. He had to believe him, the alternative, the notion that this was only a temporary salve on a permanently bleeding wound too painful for the young boy.</p><p>The Sun had already begun to set by the time the family began to move, hours slipping away. Tommy and Techno had long since sat down, the blond boy pulling out blades of grass absentmindedly. He looked up when he heard the shuffling of movement, Phil propping up a clearly tired Wilbur, as they made to stand up.</p><p>Techno quickly stood as well, moving forward as if to help but stopping suddenly. Something passed over his face and he turned around, making his way inside. Phil watched him go, a sad look on his face, before he started moving inside as well, Wilbur hanging off him. The gasoline had begun to dry, his clothes crusted in the stuff and his usually soft curls stiff. His hair looked as if it had been sprayed with a few layers of hair spray and left for hours, and Tommy wondered if touching it would make a crunching sound.</p><p>“Let’s get you cleaned up Will, okay? Come on, then you can go to sleep.”</p><p>The three walked into the home, the television show from earlier was coming to an end, as the family on screen said goodbye to what appeared to be a ghost of the girl who had hung herself. Tommy quickly walked through the living room, striding over to the remote and turning the show off, something heavy settling in his gut.</p><p>Later that night, after Wilbur had washed himself off, and gotten changed out of his gasoline-soaked clothes into simple pyjamas, the family found themselves seated in the tall teenager’s room. Wilbur was curled up asleep, his family forming a silent vigil around his bed. They stayed there all through the night, as if taking their eyes off Wilbur would cause him to disappear.</p><p>The next few weeks passed in much the same way. Phil would stay home with Wilbur, trying to support his son. Some days were better than others, with Wilbur present and aware, while other days he was barely there, staring out at something the others could not see. Techno and Tommy kept going to school, doing research in their own time into what was happening, and how Tommy’s dreams connected to all of this. So far, they hadn’t had much luck.</p><p>And Tommy could feel a stiff ache in his limbs, anticipation for the moment when the other shoe would drop and this tentative peace would come crashing down alongside it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wilbur: I need to wake up<br/>Phil: Bitch, you are awake.</p><p>I hope this chapter was okay. I really tried to keep it both emotional without seeming like I was trivialising Wilbur's mental health struggles in this chapter. Suicidal thoughts and derealization are not things I have personally experienced, so I hope this was respectful. If anything wasn't please let me know and I will edit this chapter to be more respectful.<br/>Also a bit of a time jump, between most of this chapter and the next chapter. I would have stuff in between but like... these 11 chapters have taken place in less than a week, so we need to skip a bit otherwise way too much happens way too fast. I'm terrible at pacing and this is the result.<br/>Next chapter, a break from the emotional stuff as Tommy and Techno do some research.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. I'm In Too Deep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Techno and Tommy do some research<br/>-<br/>Chapter title from 'Soft Boy' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Exposition heavy chapter everyone, sorry about that.<br/>ALSO, despite the fact this is a 'modern' AU, I have decided that it's not set exactly on Earth/our version of Earth. Just because I mention a society in this chapter that definitely didn't exist, so I want to make it clear I'm not trying to make claims about any currently existing society. This is still set kind of Earth, but not our version of Earth, so there is some different history. Not really important, doesn't change any of the story at all, just to explain some stuff this chapter.<br/>Not much to really say before this chapter starts, so I'll just say I hope you enjoy reading.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been close to a month since Wilbur had nearly set himself on fire. Tommy felt like he was walking on eggshells every time he was in the same room as the older boy, careful not to set off whatever it was that caused Wilbur’s delusions. And yet, on the good days Wilbur had quickly revealed himself as a genuinely funny guy, quick witted with a biting sense of humour. Tommy knew that if everything hadn’t happened the way it had, that he would have felt safe around Wilbur, growing closer to him than the rest of the Za family.</p><p>Which was why he felt more and more guilty with each bad day that left Wilbur curled up in his bedroom, scratching at the walls and playing harsh chords on his guitar so loudly he was sure it must have been hurting his hands.</p><p>The more Techno and Tommy researched; the more Tommy was getting frustrated with the lack of an answer. He kept having his dreams every night, some very pleasant and others feeling more like nightmares than a glimpse into the previously comforting world he had grown up with memories of.</p><p>He knew his dreams had to offer some kind of answer, but he couldn’t find any. Instead, he went to school each weekday, and spent every afternoon and weekend with his head buried in books. He hated it.</p><p>Techno almost seemed to enjoy the research, at least at first. Every book he poured over seemed to fascinate the pink haired teenager, but every time he would close the cover, frustration would clearly leak onto his face. He seemed to flinch at nothing occasionally too, however unlike Wilbur, whose flinches were unnatural and worrying, Tommy knew this was simply Techno’s chat getting too loud. At first it had freaked him out, but he knew Techno had a mostly secure hold of the chat and their impulsions, and when he didn’t, he made sure the family knew and would lock himself in his room to wait out the rising tide of violence his mind offered up.</p><p>Tommy often wondered what Phil must think about this, that each of his adopted, or in Tommy’s case fostered, sons seemed to have a world of their own within their heads, impacting them in vastly different ways. Tommy secretly thought Phil must be very lonely, stuck dealing with the lives of his children without any help from other adults.</p><p>Wilbur, in one of his moments of lucidity, had joked that soon Phil would start having to go on dates with his Samsung Smart Fridge in order to get any company outside of his sons. Techno had immediately joked back something about a salmon, which had sparked an intense joking debate between the two boys that was clearly born out of some kind of inside joke Tommy had not been around for.</p><p>It was moments like that, when the two brothers were clearly so comfortable with each other, that made Tommy wish he could have been a part of this family from the beginning. Being surrounded by their chaos provided him with a comfort he very rarely felt, as if the real world and his dream world were blending together into some form of reality that blanketed around Tommy and left him safe.</p><p>Today however had been a bad day, and Techno had offered to take Tommy to the library to do more research, kindly and subtly getting them out of the suffocating atmosphere of the house.</p><p>Tommy was thankful for Techno’s protective streak, it was always silent and careful, as if he didn’t want him to know he cared and yet so clearly present in his actions.</p><p>The two were currently sat in the library, a stack of books beside them. Tommy had never been much of a reader, but he steadily made his way through the heavy book on dreams in front of him, using Techno’s laptop to search up anything he didn’t understand. Determination fuelled him forward, even as he could feel a slight headache begin to form behind his eyes.</p><p>“Huh.” Tommy looked up when he heard Techno speak, seeing the older teen eyeing the book in front of him in wonder.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“‘<em>People of this society appeared to worship a god they referred to as Dream. They spoke of this figure as a creator spirit, shaping many universes in pursuit of revenge on the first to oppose him. This figure’s true face was believed to be enough to drive one insane, and instead had to be hid away by a simple mask, fashioned in the style of a simplistic smiling face.</em>’” Techno read aloud the passage and Tommy felt himself grow colder and colder as he went on. This sounded exactly like Dream, which meant the figure in his dreams was not just limited to him but had been around for a long time.</p><p>“What is this from?” He tried grasping for the book, but Techno laid it down on the table, rather than risk Tommy ripping the fragile pages. The boy shuffled his chair around until he sat beside his foster brother, staring down at the book.</p><p>“It’s a book on small societies and their belief systems. The one they are talking about were a small settlement where this town now sits, who were cut off from socialising with others for a couple hundreds of years, due to a series of natural disasters that seemed to plague the area. They formed their own belief systems over time, until they were integrated back into the wider communities of the surrounding towns at the time. This sounds like the guy from your dreams, doesn’t it?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Tommy was in shock. He had known there was something off about the figure of his dreams, the fact he had been appearing in the real world and affecting both Wilbur and Techno’s chat, but knowing that he was an actual god, or at the very least worshipped by people as one hundreds of years ago? That was not a comforting thought.</p><p>Techno kept reading aloud, as Tommy felt panic bubble up in his chest. “‘<em>The group who first resisted him were also frequently mentioned in writings by this religious sect. They told about numerous wars which ravished the first universe, often caused by a young boy and his supporters. Some writings position this boy as a spirit of chaos, whilst others depict him as a mere mortal who somehow dared to go up against a God.</em>’”</p><p>“‘<em>This young boy at first fought over symbols the writings referred to as ‘discs’, often accompanied by drawings by the sect. Interestingly, these appeared to resemble musical discs, like CDs or vinyl records, despite these drawings dating back hundreds of years. We have attached images of these drawings (figure 1)</em>’”</p><p>There laying on the paper, were ink etchings of discs Tommy had seen countless times in his dreams. He remembered those discs; they were so important to the dream version of himself. Slowly, he could feel the sneaking suspicions of what exactly was happening started to dawn on himself, but he fought it down. This couldn’t be real, it just couldn’t be.</p><p>“‘<em>There is minimal writing on the boy and his group, however some descriptions remain. The writings referred to a revolutionary who set forth creating a new country, aided by the boy and some of his allies. Eventually they were joined by ‘The Blade’ however the stories do not note whether this was a person or an object, but it was used to temporarily beat the Dream god. Ultimately however, the revolutionaries were defeated and punished for their actions. There is debate amongst scholars in regards to whether these stories were actually part of the society’s religion or rather bedtime stories told to children to teach them morals. Regardless, the myth of Dream is one of our many insights into the society.’”</em></p><p>Techno and Tommy sat there in silence for a few moments, before Techno began to speak up, “This all lines up with your drea-”</p><p>“Stop.” Tommy spoke, voice quivering as he stared down hard at the table in front of him. Techno went to speak again but was interrupted. “Stop, no, I-I can’t hear this.”</p><p>The boy pushed himself out of the chair, stumbling out of the library and onto the street on shaking legs. He could feel himself begin to tremble and he tried to breathe slowly, however each breath got caught in his throat, coming out more as a strangled gasp.</p><p>He could hear Techno walk up behind him and he flinched away, curling in on himself. His mind was a swirling storm of confusion and fear. How was this possible? How were those stories, those myths from hundreds of years ago, so closely aligned to his dream world? How?</p><p>Was Dream actually a god, had Tommy somehow accidentally made enemies with a powerful deity who could destroy him any second? Dream had said he could erase Tommy’s entire existence, was that actually true? Why the fuck had he thought it was a good idea to piss off the green hooded man?</p><p>Techno was talking to him, trying to force his monotone voice into some form of calming speech. He wasn’t doing a very good job, and in any other scenario it would have made Tommy chuckle, but right now it just grated more at his fried nerves. He just wanted something comforting, something to focus on and push back against the cacophony of confusing thoughts in his head. He thought about his discs, mentioned in the book and so important in his dreams. He wished he could hold Mellohi now, listen to its sweet tune as it spun around in the jukebox.</p><p>His fingers closed around something cold and hard, like plastic with small grooves in the side. Frowning, he opened his eyes, not even consciously aware of when he had closed them and stared at the disc clutched in his hands. Assuming he had landed somehow in his dream world, he looked around, but he was still on the street, Techno still stood behind him nervously. Looking back down, he could see the dark surface of the disc glisten in the afternoon sun.</p><p>“What the fuck?” Incredulity and fear flooded his voice, the end going up the octave, and he let go out of shock. He watched, frozen, as the disc fell down and down until it hit the pavement, shattering into dozens of pieces against the concrete. He felt regret fill him as he watched one of his prized possessions get destroyed but then the confusion set in even further. How had he done that?</p><p>“Where did that come from?” Techno asked, also staring down at the shattered disc in confusion.</p><p>“My dreams.” Tommy muttered and he turned to fully face the older boy, who was staring at him with wide eyes.</p><p>“You brought that from your dreams? It’s one of the discs the book mentioned isn’t it?” Techno seemed to be piecing it together, bewilderment clear in his usually calm voice before it began to turn to worry. “You can bring stuff from your dreams, which are also a possibly real alternate universe created by a vengeful god you managed to piss off? Damn, I thought the chat were a bad side effect of powers, but you’ve inherited an angry god’s grudge.”</p><p>Tommy was offended at the chuckle the boy let out on that final sentence. “Oi, you dickhead, I’ve just had my entire worldview shattered. A little bit of sympathy would be real fucking nice.”</p><p>Techno calmed his chuckles down but didn’t have the decency to look apologetic. Tommy wanted to punch the guy in the face, but he had a feeling he’d only manage to hurt his own hand. Besides, the more the ridiculousness of the situation set in, the more he kind of understood the laughter. If you had told him a month ago that his dreams were possibly memories from an alternate universe, he would have called you a fucking idiot.</p><p>And yet now it was the most logical explanation for everything.</p><p>He bent down and picked up a couple of the larger pieces of Mellohi. He could remember the war he had waged over this disc; how important it and Cat had once been to him. He really had taken on a god for these discs, and then continued to be swayed by them further down the line. Well, an alternate universe version of him anyways.</p><p>“We should get home and tell Phil about what we’ve found.”</p><p>He slipped off the neckerchief he had put on that morning to fight against the cold, wrapping up one of the pieces of the disc in it before slipping it into his back pocket. He’d have to figure out how exactly he’d pulled it out of the dream world later, right now he just wanted to share his discovery with his foster father.</p><p>Techno and Tommy began the long trek home, unaware of what awaited them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Techno+Tommy: Let's get home, where everything is currently a-okay.<br/>Me, the author: *thinking about next chapter* Well, about that...</p><p>-<br/>Got to stretch out some of my gifted kid past to try and write accurate sounding historical analysis. I was not very good at it. Hope you liked the little ominous ending to this chapter, sorry you didn't even get a full chapter of peace lol.<br/>-</p><p>Next chapter, everything is not currently a-okay at home.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. There's a Reason That London Puts Barriers on The Rails</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter, the house is not doing so well.</p><p>TRIGGER WARNINGS WITH MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER: References to suicide, attempted suicide, explosions</p><p>Chapter title from 'Jubilee Line' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Good luck with this chapter.<br/>I'm definitely getting predictable, but hopefully my writing is good enough to make up for that lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was something off about the air when they arrived home. It was not anything immediately noticeable as they walked up the road, not something out of place or wrong. It was more that rising sense of tension that came ingrained from birth, a knowledge of danger before it fully presented itself. Like knowing something is going to go wrong when all of the birds leave their trees and flee to the air, or the tide is sucked back out to sea suddenly.</p><p>Like a drawstring being pulled back and held in place, until suddenly it would snap forward like a whip.</p><p>He could feel Techno tense up beside him as the two walked forward. They were both on high alert, adrenaline beginning to pump through their veins.</p><p>There was only silence.</p><p>Once they had crested the hill, the grass in front of the house came into view and Tommy felt his eyes widen in shock as he saw Phil laying there. He was slumped over, limbs curling under him uncomfortably like he had been dragged out and dumped there. There was a small trail of blood from the back of his head down the side of his face.</p><p>Techno immediately ran up to his father, and Tommy attempted to catch up. Despite being lanky, his legs were no match for the powerful strides of the older boy, who came crashing to the ground beside Phil. By the time Tommy reached them, Techno had begun to check over his father, two fingers pressed into the hollow of his neck.</p><p>“He’s alive.” Tommy breathed out a sigh of relief, as he slumped beside Phil. He wouldn’t know what he would do if any of the Za family died, these assholes having buried their way deep into his heart and taken up root there. He grabbed a hold of Phil’s hand, rubbing his thumb in quick circles, hoping he could get the older man to stir.</p><p>Techno was now standing, staring up at the house, concern clear on his face. “Shut up,” He hissed out suddenly, scrunching his eyes closed.</p><p>“What?” The sentence made Tommy’s hackles raise, now was not the time for Techno to be getting snippy with him, especially when he hadn’t even said anything.</p><p>Techno rubbed at the space between his eyes, “Not you, it’s the chat. They are going absolutely wild right now, calling for blood. I can’t hear myself think.”</p><p>Tommy felt bad for the boy, having completely forgotten about the voices in Techno’s head. He was also concerned by them calling for blood, but he just had to hope that the older boy had a solid control over them and wouldn’t give in and hurt Tommy. That would suck.</p><p>Techno seemed to notice Tommy’s agitation, because he made a show of taking a few calming breaths, clearly trying to demonstrate he was not going to attack or freak out. However, as he took in the breaths, he seemed to notice something. He sniffed the air a few times.</p><p>“Gunpowder.”</p><p>With that word, Tommy couldn’t help but think back to just under a month ago. He knew immediately this was the actions of Wilbur, a sinking suspicion he had felt since cresting the hill now being confirmed. This felt like a repeat of last time, except instead of gasoline to burn himself alive, Wilbur had apparently gotten his hands on gunpowder, somehow. What was he going to do with it? Blow himself up, maybe the house, hell maybe the entire city? Wilbur was a slow burning fuse and Tommy had no idea how far the boy was willing to go in his deluded state.</p><p>He had clearly waited until Techno and he were out of the house, and then proceeded to knock Phil out and drag him, hopefully, out of harm’s way. Tommy could tell that Wilbur didn’t want to hurt others in his attempt to destroy himself, but he wasn’t sure how long that would last. Once he decided there was no problem with collateral damage, Tommy wasn’t sure how they’d be able to stop him peacefully.</p><p>Techno looked down at Tommy with Phil and seemed to make a decision in that split second. “You stay here, look after Phil. I’ll find Wilbur, stop him doing whatever the hell he’s planning.”</p><p>Tommy tried to stand, desperate to help in some way. He couldn’t just leave Techno to deal with his struggling brother on his own. He had to do something.</p><p>“Seriously Tommy, I’ll be fine. You need to stay with Phil, keep him safe.”</p><p>The older teen burst through the front door and Tommy was left on the grass outside of the house. It was so quiet, unnaturally so, as if all of the sound in the world had been sucked away. It made his skin crawl and he looked around, his eyes falling upon the trees. There was something rough about them, these trees out the front, and they made him feel sick the more he looked at them.</p><p>He knew there was something wrong with them, but his eyes were skimming over them too quickly, out of his control, blurring the colours until his eyes burned. He needed to get away from them though, they only spelled danger. Looking down at Phil, he put his arms under the shoulders of the man and began to pull, slowly working his way around the house, away from the trees.</p><p>It took what felt like an eternity, looking up every few seconds to see if there was any movement at all within the house, but all was still and silent. Eventually he’d done it, and he dropped down beside Phil, in the clearing behind the house. His arms ached and he’d begun to break a sweat, but he felt safer.</p><p>Or he did, before he heard the muttering from the back door. There was Wilbur, slowly making his way out, back turned towards his father and foster brother. He was talking to himself.</p><p>“Every time I think of doing this, I think of the song I scribbled on my bedroom walls. 'There was a special place, there was a special place for men to go and emancipate.' And that special place existed once, it did.” Tommy could feel movement beside him and glancing down he could see that Phil had awakened, and he wanted to be happy but his attention was drawn back to Wilbur as he kept speaking. “We won the war, but it didn’t matter. It never mattered. Dream, you were right. It didn’t matter.”</p><p>Tommy stared in fear at the boy. He was attempting to tear his hair out, staring down at a simple button clenched in his other hand. Phil was making his way unsteadily to his feet, and Tommy leant out an arm for support, not tearing his eyes away from the back of Wilbur.</p><p>“Wilbur.” Phil spoke, voice wavering slightly but clear.</p><p>Wilbur tensed, and he turned slightly to face his father, looking over his shoulder at him. “Phil?”</p><p>The two stared each other down for a few tense seconds, before Wilbur looked down at the button in his hand. “Do you know what this button is?”</p><p>“I can guess, considering I saw you planting the explosives, before you knocked me out. Will, what are you doing? Please, just put it down. Plea-”</p><p>“PHIL, I’m always <em>so close</em> to pressing this button Phil! I have been staring at the explosives, and seven or eight times I have wanted to put them up. I just, I need to wake up Phil, this is the only way.”</p><p>“So, you want to blow it all up? Our home, yourself, everything? You’ve fought so hard Wilbur. I remember when I first met you, you were always so afraid, of yourself, of your sleep paralysis and of the world, but you fought and you clawed your way out of the dark, and you can do it again. I don’t care what ‘Dream’ or anyone else has to say to you, you are my son, and I won’t let you hurt yourself.”</p><p>“Dream’s a god Phil, you can’t fight gods. He told me so. He’s the one who gave me the explosives. He wanted me to tell you Tommy,” Wilbur’s eyes turned to Tommy and the boy flinched back. The teen's pupils were blown wide and there was something manic about his expression. “He wanted to tell you, that you’re not the only one who can pull stuff from the other world. That’s where the explosives are all from. He wanted to thank you though, for breaking Mellohi, he said it saved him having to bother with it."</p><p>Dream knew what had happened at the library, he could know anything, he could be watching at any time. Tommy wondered if Dream was watching now, eyes somewhere in the trees. Or maybe, he was just always watching, omnipresent.</p><p>Phil stepped forward and Wilbur flinched back, raising an arm, before the button seemed to catch his attention again. He stared blankly at it. “I don’t even know if the button works, it’s not connected to anything, but Dream seemed to think it would. But I could press it and nothing might happen.”</p><p>“Do you really want to take that risk?”</p><p>Wilbur seemed to stop for a moment, and actually let that sink in. He almost went to put the button down, hand extending towards the grass, but his eye caught on the tree line and he froze. Tommy turned slightly, and he realised these trees were like the trees before, like the ones out near the front of the house, something sickly and wrong. His eyes glazed over them still, as if he wasn’t meant to see whatever it was Wilbur could, but they still made his skin crawl.</p><p>He turned back to face Wilbur, who had a look of determination clear on his face. He smiled, and he lifted the button back up.</p><p>“There was a saying by a traitor, on another world so long ago. His name was Eret, and he had a saying Phil. 'It was never meant to be.'”</p><p>Tommy’s mind shot back to the dreams, standing in a dark room as another soldier pressed a button, muttering those words as others swarmed in and killed Tommy and his allies. Another person manipulated by Dream, forced to play whatever role fit his fancy.</p><p>“No!” Tommy shouted out and it seemed to shock Will enough to stop his thumb pressing down. This was so much like the lighter, but this time they were missing someone who could help. “Techno’s still in there Will. He’s still in there, you’ll kill him if you do this.”</p><p>Wilbur turned around to face the house, a shaking hand tracing down the brick wall. “Techno?” He asked, as if coming out a dream, the sound of a young boy just searching for his brother in the dark. But then he turned to face them fully, the glaze back over his eyes. “TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!” And with that, he pressed down on the button.</p><p>Tommy stood there in shock, as a wave of pressure seemed to travel out through the ground, before fire erupted inside the house, the intensity breaking the glass outwards. Phil was beside him, his great wings stretching out fast, wrapping one around Tommy, even as he launched forward and wrapped the other around Wilbur, pulling his son away from the blast.</p><p>Peeking an eye out over the wing, Tommy watched in horror as the house began to crumple inwards onto itself, the two stories falling in almost slow motion to the ground, with no sign of his other foster brother.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: Techno leaves and misses the confrontation, Phil is asleep for the beginning of it and wakes up way too late to really stop anything, everyone in this family has terrible timing.<br/>Wilbur: My timing is immaculate<br/>Tommy: You blew up Techno!</p><p>-<br/>So some of you guessed where this chapter would be going, but I hope it was still enjoyable! Also, I love stealing snippets of the canon quotes and then mixing them with my story to create something new, it's a lot of fun. Short chapter, but next chapter should be much longer since I've ended up combining two planned chapters into one.<br/>-</p><p>Next chapter, the aftermath</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. There's a Reason They Fail</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter Wilbur tries to die.<br/>-<br/>Chapter title from 'Jubilee Line' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was one of the first chapters I had fully planned out, and it was the one I've been building up to this whole time, the story will really take a new turn from this point on. <br/>TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER, MAJOR SPOILERS (SKIP IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS, BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS, I'D RECOMMEND YOU READ THIS LIST):<br/>References to suicide, attempted suicide, assisted suicide, violence, murder, death and severe grief. (What fun warnings for this chapter, I know)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The house was aflame, smoke rising quickly into the afternoon sky, as embers floated around them, burning the grass. Phil unwrapped the boys from his wings, and Tommy looked at the leathery limbs. Most of the wings had been caught alight, and Phil quickly flapped them a few times to put out the flames, leaving only burnt feathers. They looked painful and Tommy resisted the urge to put a soothing hand on the scarred skin, unsure if he would just hurt Phil more.</p>
<p>While Tommy contemplated the wings, Phil was keeping his eyes on his middle son, who was kneeling in the grass, staring up at the house, a wild smile splitting his face in two. “My life, Phil, my unfinished symphony, soon to be forever unfinished. So soon, I just need to wait for the last puzzle piece to fall into place, like Dream says.”</p>
<p>After speaking, he narrowed his eyes on the remnants of the back door, half collapsed. After a few tense moments of silence, a large figure made his way barrelling through the door. He was coughing heavily, as his burnt and bleeding hands clutched onto a sword. Tommy had seen that sword a few times, hung up in Techno’s room.</p>
<p>The figure stepped out of the smoke and there he was, Techno, alive. He was injured but still breathing, coughing up ash and soot as he went, eyes watering but still alive. Tommy let out a relieved sob at the sight, and Phil rushed forward, taking Techno into his arms carefully and hugging his son tight to his chest.</p>
<p>Tommy began to question how he had survived, but then he remembered what Phil had said about Techno’s powers. That he couldn’t die. Wilbur had been right.</p>
<p>A broken laugh flooded the clearing, and Tommy turned back to face Wilbur, who was staggering his way towards him. There was a dangerous edge to his expression, something unkempt and deadly. Tommy took a halting step back, fear suddenly flooding through him. Wilbur didn’t look like the hurt and scared teenager anymore, more like the disgraced president, who had thrown Tommy in a pit to fight to the death out of his own amusement.</p>
<p>He was scared, he wanted to be safe. Techno and Phil had protection in the form of the sword, but Tommy was separated from them, with Wilbur standing in his way and quickly advancing. He was scared of the older teenager. He wanted protection.</p>
<p>His hand subconsciously closed around something rough and worn, and he looked down to find himself clutching a sword. It shocked him for a few moments, before he remembered his dreams, where a sword like this had been his near constant companion for so long. He had reached into his dreams once again, pulling out a means of protection against Wilbur.</p>
<p>The tall teenager stopped, eyes flicking to the sword, before the smile on his face stretched even wider. “Give me the sword Tommy.” The echo pounded in Tommy’s head, pushing against his brain painfully. Before he could think it through, the sword was out of his hand and in Wilbur’s. The boy spun around, having clearly gotten what he sought and faced his father and brother.</p>
<p>“How about it Techno? A duel?” He smirked playfully, as if he had just challenged his brother to a prank war and not a fight with literal swords. Techno looked as shocked as Tommy felt, however a quick glance at the smouldering remains of the house triggered a look of pure rage to come over the pink haired boy’s face, and he tightened his grip on his own sword.</p>
<p>Phil tried to step forward, placing a gentle hand on Techno’s forearm but was quickly shoved away, falling backwards onto the grass. The father was clearly terrified, the realisation that he had lost control of the situation, that his children were in danger and he had failed to protect them, forcing him into silence.</p>
<p>The two boys faced off but even with Techno’s anger, Tommy could see the formation of a plan behind his eyes, his movements calculated against Wilbur’s wild ones. Their swords clashed abruptly, the sound clanging throughout the clearing, bouncing against the strange trees. The metals scrapped along each other, a sound akin to nails on a chalkboard and Tommy cringed, resisting the urge to cover his ears.</p>
<p>It felt like all of the noises were amplified, the epicentre seemingly the brunette boy. It was as if the echo that coated his voice had spread to all of the sounds around him, twisting them and distorting them into something horrific, nightmarish.</p>
<p>Another clang of metal and then Techno was raising his arms up to strike down, but not with the blade but instead the hilt. He was aiming right for Wilbur’s head and Tommy realised he was trying to knock him out, not kill his brother. Relief flooded through him for all of a second before Wilbur was rolling away, sword gliding across Techno’s arm, leaving a deep and bleeding gash.</p>
<p>Techno stumbled forward, shock evident. Tommy was also confused, Wilbur didn’t seem the type to train with swords, too skeletal and lanky compared to his brother’s muscular frame, and yet he moved with the ease of a master. Like the Wilbur of his dreams, who had been raised with weapons, learning to fight for his life from a young age. Or in this case, fight for his death, as he ducked behind Techno, riling the older boy up.</p>
<p>The lines between the Wilbur of his dreams and the real world were becoming increasingly blurred, and Tommy could swear in some of the twisting movements he saw a tattered cloak trailing behind him. “This is pathetic Techno, let’s put some effort into this.” The echo was strong in Wilbur’s voice, possibly stronger than Tommy had ever heard and it kept ramping up in intensity.</p>
<p>Techno seemed to be fighting harder and harder, more and more anger seeping into each swipe of his blade. He’d stopped his sharp movements of the hilt and Tommy was struck with a realisation that this duel to knock Wilbur out was quickly becoming a serious duel to the death. And only one of these boys wanted to live.</p>
<p>“Come on Techno, stab me! Let’s get some blood for the Blood God!” The echo was becoming more and more jagged, and Tommy could swear more voices were joining it. “What about the chat? Chat, this is your chance. I know you want death and destruction, well then scream for it!”</p>
<p>Techno grunted, wincing as the voices in his head ramped up. He was getting worn out, he needed to knock Wilbur out before he turned his manipulation on him too much, it was becoming more difficult to fight against the orders, and they all could see it. Including Wilbur.</p>
<p>“Techno, kill me!”</p>
<p>Techno raised the sword up, aiming for Wilbur’s head with the blade, and they all knew he was seconds away from killing his younger brother, panic clear on his face even as he swung downwards. Suddenly the sword was stopped, as it collided with a large force.</p>
<p>Phil’s wing had rushed forward, taking the brunt of the attack before flicking the sword far into the trees. Tommy watched it arc through the air and settle out of sight, and it was then he realised why the trees had looked so dangerous, finally able to focus on them fully. The trees, every single one of them, were covered in the smile of Dream’s mask, bark scratched away in its shape. The god was orchestrating all of this, twisting them all until they fell into the pieces of the puzzle that he wanted.</p>
<p>Wilbur looked shocked at still being alive, but his eyes narrowed on his father, whose wing was now bleeding hard. He smirked, dangerous and unhinged, “Kill me, Phil!” His father’s eyes widened, as he braced against the force of the echo, trying to fight back against it.</p>
<p>Wilbur kept shouting, “Phil, kill me, kill me, Phil, do it!” As the boy yelled, the blue blood began pouring out of his nose, his mouth, his eyes. It was like his power was leaking out of him, lashing out, trying to leave the dying body of the teenager. He was crazed, tears mixing with the blue blood to streak down his face.</p>
<p>“Phil, stab me with the sword, murder me!” Wilbur threw his sword down on the ground and Phil picked it up, seemingly without realising. Once he did notice though, Phil’s eyes widened as he attempted to let go of the sword but to no avail, Wilbur’s magic keeping it firmly in his grasp, not letting him drop it.</p>
<p>“Kill, kill me, Killza, Killza.” He let out a giggle at his pun, as his echo amped further and further up, more and more voices joining it. “Murder me.”</p>
<p>“No, no.” Phil was crying now, Tommy wasn’t sure if it was out of sadness, fear, pain or a mix of all three. “You’re my son!”</p>
<p>“Kill me Phil!” Wilbur shrieked out, his voice echoing throughout the clearing. It ripped out of his lungs, ragged and shredded. It was now joined by what sounded like hundreds of other voices, all screaming for blood.</p>
<p>Every time Tommy blinked; his vision switched. Sometimes it was Wilbur and Phil, facing each other down in a stone room of some kind, writing scribbled along the walls, while other times it was the moment unfolding in front of him. The Wilbur of his dream’s voice echoed with the hundreds of others. <em>“Dad, KILL ME!”</em></p>
<p>Silence flooded the clearing, voices vanishing as suddenly as they had started, as Wilbur stared down in shock at the sword sticking out of his chest. Tommy watched horrified as the older boy lifted his eyes up to look at his father. The younger boy felt sick at the relief in Wilbur’s eyes, the mania completely gone, leaving only blissful acceptance.</p>
<p>Everything moved in slow motion, the realisation and horror dawning on Phil’s face, as Techno stared in shock at his bleeding brother. Wilbur slowly crumbled, falling onto his back.</p>
<p>The blue blood from his face mixed in with the red blood from his chest, forming into a dark, sickly shade of purple. The only thing Tommy could hear over the rush of static in his ears was the ragged breaths of the dying boy.</p>
<p>Phil fell to his knees, gathering Wilbur up into his arms, he clutched at his son’s face, trying to beg him to hold on. The man’s wings lay limply against the grass, as he held his dying child. He looked like a renaissance painting, the light shining through the leaves of the trees above to cast strange shadows on the huddled figures. A tableau of grief, frozen in the moment.</p>
<p>“Please, no, please. Wilbur, hold on please, don’t go. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please don’t go. Not my son, please! Will, I love you, I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>Wilbur’s eyes seemed to find something beyond Phil’s head, smiling at it calmly and reaching a hand up, as if to touch it. “Thank you,” Tommy wasn’t sure if it was dream Wilbur or real Wilbur who had spoken, but after the words left pale and cracked lips, the awareness died in Wilbur’s eyes and with it left the boy. His hand fell limp, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. His head fell back, and his blank eyes stared up at nothing, his chest did not move with breaths.</p>
<p>Techno fell down beside his brother, grief clear on his face. He reached out a hand, grabbing at one of Wilbur’s. He was searching for something, anything to indicate a sign of life within the boy, to know that he hadn’t just witnessed his brother be murdered by his father, hadn’t helped him in reaching that fate. He found nothing.</p>
<p>Tommy sat there numb. He hadn’t known this version of Wilbur long, but he had known the dream version his whole life. It felt like something had been severed, like both versions had been killed with one fell swoop of the sword, the one that Tommy had brought with him into the real world. Guilt curled up in his chest, choking him as sobs began to flow from his throat. His grief was twofold. </p>
<p>Phil stared into the unseeing eyes of his child and kept begging. Tommy could see the moment Phil realised his son was gone, well and truly gone, and with his next breath the father began screaming. It was gut wrenching, the kind of anguish only a parent who had to bury their child could feel. It didn’t sound human, animalistic in nature as he howled. It was so full of pain and agony that Tommy was sure Phil would die alongside Wilbur.</p>
<p>But he didn’t.</p>
<p>The only lungs that stopped breathing were Wilbur’s.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Phil: I won't let my son die!<br/>Wilbur: Think again bitch!</p>
<p>-<br/>So... this chapter was a rough one. I hope you are all doing okay. This chapter, like I stated above was what I was working towards, it was the reason why Wilbur had such main character energy, because I needed this moment to hurt. I both hope I succeeded, but not too well, I hope this didn't cause any distress. <br/>ALSO, because I know I didn't explain it at any point, the blue blood Wilbur bleeds when using his powers is specifically from using his powers, the use turns his blood blue right before it leaves his body. So any wounds he gets, those are pure red blood, like a normal human. It's only his nose bleeds, or in this case the full on haemorrhaging, that is blue blood.<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, the family grieves.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. How Can I Live On If I Keep On Collecting?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A family grieves.</p><p>Chapter title from 'I'm In Love With an E-Girl' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, but I hope this is good compensation lol.<br/>Also, I wrote a story about Wilbur and his connection to Death (personified in this story, because Wilbur deserves a parent that will care for him, and if the canon won't give me that I will create it in the form of an immortal being who reaps souls.) It would mean a lot if you checked it out, it's possibly my favourite piece of writing I've done and I'm really proud. It's my most recent story, 'Little One'.<br/>TW this chapter includes mentions of death (and a bit about what happens to a body afterwards, not gross but in there), serious conflict/arguments, brief mention of vomit and extreme grief. This isn't simply sad grief, it's the overwhelming kind and these boys are stuck in the first and second stages of grief. Also, at first Tommy is going to sound quite cold towards Wilbur's death and his body, that's just his trauma, he cares deeply.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At some point Phil had stopped screaming. It hadn’t been a conscious choice on his part, not him mustering up his strength and fighting back against his guilt. No, instead the noise had just ended, his throat torn to shreds. If Phil could be screaming, he would be, and Tommy had a feeling the man never wanted to stop. Wanted to drown in his grief and let his screams take away the last of his breath.</p><p>It was a terrible thing for a father to outlive their son.</p><p>Even worse to have been the one to kill the son in the first place.</p><p>The family sat quietly in the clearing behind the burnt remains of their house. The air was thick with smoke and grief. Tommy had turned away from the corpse almost immediately after death. At first to offer Phil and Techno their privacy to cry over it, but now he could not bear to look, knowing that seeing that body lying there, blood pooling beneath it, would crush him.</p><p>He did his best to mentally separate the dead body laying mere metres away from the young man he had seen just that morning, struggling but still very much alive. So very alive.</p><p>And now he was dead.</p><p>Gone.</p><p>Tommy swallowed down a fresh sob. He didn’t deserve to mourn, not to the same extent as the Za family. He hadn’t known Wilbur, not really, or at least he tried to convince himself of that, trying to push down the ugly and twisting feelings rising up in his gut.</p><p>“He-he moved.” Phil suddenly spoke, his voice shot to hell but propelled forward by his hope. Tommy whipped his head around to face the body’s father, who was clutching a hand desperately in Wilbur’s, clawing at his son’s still and pale face in unbridled joy. At some point, someone had closed the boy’s eyes, but he didn’t look like he was sleeping, not like people always seemed to claim. He still looked dead. Except, for his arm. Wilbur’s arm had tensed up, no longer limp like it had been, instead forming an odd angle. But it didn’t look right, not natural, inhuman.</p><p>Techno seemed to notice the same thing and the boy sniffed, sounding broken as he destroyed his father’s hope. “Dad, it’s rigor mortis setting in. He didn’t move.” Tommy thought back to biology class, when he had very briefly learnt about what happened to a body after death. He had always struggled to imagine it, how a corpse could tense up like that, but seeing it before him he wished he hadn’t. He fell back into the grass, vomiting to the side as he sobbed.</p><p>Phil didn’t seem to hear Techno’s words, or simply chose to ignore them, brushing a hand through his son’s hair. “No, no Will you just need to wake up. Come on baby, please just open your eyes for me okay? Just open your eyes for me. Wilbur, you said you needed to wake up, so wake up. Pl-please.”</p><p>Phil was growing increasingly more frantic; his hands erratic as he tried to rouse his teenager. Techno stood on shaking legs and walked behind his father, attempting to rip him away from his son. Phil, in his blind and manic grief, launched his wings out, pushing Techno off before continuing his pleading.</p><p>Techno landed hard on the grass and Tommy crawled towards him, trying to offer support and comfort. He laid a hand on the older boy’s arm, who quickly wrenched it out of his grip. “Don’t touch me.”</p><p>Tommy fell back and stared at Techno in shock. He knew deep down not to take it personal, but the glare the older boy was sending him was enough to send him scrambling away. He thought back to the pit in his dreams, and he felt like he was waiting for an exposed wire to suddenly spark and start a raging fire.</p><p>“This is your fault.” Techno spat, and Tommy froze where he was propped up against his elbows. This anger wasn’t safe, it was dangerous, and it was directed at him. He didn’t know what to do when all of the burning rage of a young boy whose brother had just been slaughtered where he stood was directed at him. The wire had sparked alright and it had quickly become a forest fire.</p><p>“If you hadn’t shown up, if you had just stayed away, we would never have become targets of your weird, psycho god with a grunge and Wilbur would still be alive. He wouldn’t have been driven out of his own fucking mind. You and your god, poisoned my brother’s mind and you caused him to do this. It was you!”</p><p>Betrayal quickly turned to anger as Tommy lay there, being shouted down at by Techno. Tommy had always been good at arguments, and if Techno was going to push blame on him and shout at him, he was going to push right back. Damn the consequences, he was nothing if not self-protective.</p><p>“First of all, he’s not my god, he’s haunting me for fuck’s sake, and second of all, you are the one who agreed to a duel with Wilbur. Why would any of this be my fault? It’s you and your stupid fucking chat. What? Can’t you handle a little peer pressure you pathetic piece of shit?”</p><p>By this point he had pulled himself to his feet and the two boys were glaring at each other, fists clenched and breathing heavily.</p><p>“You’re the one who brought a sword into the real world. You gave him a weapon, you gave the boy who was spiralling a weapon, what were you expecting to happen huh? And why’d you even have it, scared of my brother, were you?”</p><p>“You brought the other sword out, he manipulated me into giving him the sword because he saw you had one and figured a duel was the best way to die. This is not my fault, no matter what you fucking say, now back off!”</p><p>“You’re right, it’s just the fault of the god that you somehow managed to piss off in a past life!”</p><p>This was getting dangerous, going too far, and yet Tommy couldn’t stop it, couldn’t fight back the words that kept propelling out of his mouth, breaking past clenched teeth.</p><p>“You were also in that past life and you caused a lot of problems yourself, this is not all on me.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you’re the only one who remembers that life. Me, Wilbur and Phil, we aren’t our selves from those lives, we are new fucking people. But you, you remember it all, and from what I’ve heard you are the same pathetic little brat who sticks his nose into other people’s business, trying to make everything about you!”</p><p>Tommy blinked back tears, this time not from grief or pain, but from pure, unadulterated rage.</p><p>“This isn’t my fault!”</p><p>They had somehow stumbled into an emotional minefield, stepping onto the pressure plates before they were even aware what was happening. Now they just had to wait for one of them to lift their foot and take the both of them with them in a fiery explosion, beautiful in its destructiveness.</p><p>“Yes, it is. You brought an angry god to our doorstep, you provided him somewhere to find Wilbur, to sink inside of his mind and get his claws around him. You brought this upon my baby brother. You did this Tommy, this was you! You drove him insane.”</p><p>“Or maybe he was just fucking crazy to begin with and you and Phil couldn’t fucking see it!”</p><p>“Maybe you are just <em>poison</em> to everything you touch Tommy, have you ever thought of that?”</p><p>“Maybe <em>you</em> should have been the one to <em>die!</em>”</p><p>
  <em>Oh God.</em>
</p><p>They both stepped back, as the bombs dropped between them. Their eyes met, and Tommy felt sick at the pure pain reflected in Techno’s depths. He had attacked a boy grieving the loss of his brother, of someone he loved and cared about, trying to drag him down further and faster.</p><p>The words hung in the air, unable to be taken back. Tommy had a feeling no matter what happened next, those words would always follow them, like a spectre following their every move, tainting them for the rest of their lives. Just like the dead body in the grass.</p><p>The only way to reverse this, any of this, would be if Wilbur sat up right now and demanded the two of them forget everything said between them, and even then, it would permeate the air, never being able to be washed clean from their skin. They were stained with these words, because it’s what they thought.</p><p>Techno would always think Tommy was poison and Tommy would always think Techno should have died instead of Wilbur.</p><p>The words stung because Tommy also thought he was poison, and Techno also wished he had been the one to die instead.</p><p>Wilbur didn’t sit up in that moment, didn’t demand anything of the two, didn’t make them forget. So, they both stood there, knowing what had been said, that it could never be taken back.</p><p>Distant sirens began to sound, and Techno’s eyes widened, as he looked at Phil and Wilbur on the ground. Tommy looked up to the sky, where the smoke had drifted up and up. The whole town could probably see the smoke, of course someone had called the emergency services. But they had a burning house, and a dead child and a family that could never be put back together properly, with new scars and holes that nothing could fix.</p><p>Techno had sunk to his knees beside Phil, trying to gain the attention of the man, who had stopped begging Wilbur and fallen silent once more.</p><p>“Come on, Phil, we need to get up. We need to figure out what we’ll tell the police, or they’ll think you killed Wilbur.”</p><p>“I did kill Wilbur.” His voice was flat, as he stared down at his blood-soaked hands, nails scratching away at the deep layer of gore that covered his skin.</p><p>“They’ll send you to prison Phil.” Techno was begging now, voice low and soft as he tried to coax his father up.</p><p>“It’s what I deserve. I should rot for the rest of my life for what I did to my son. Oh god, my son.” And he was back down, burying his face into the chest of Wilbur. Tommy realised with a start that Phil had forced Wilbur’s eyes back open, blood smeared along his cheeks, eyelids and forehead. He was staring up at nothing, purely blank and the sun shone down into them, his usually dark eyes appearing almost golden, a haze beginning to cloud them in death, stark against the red. Tommy stared into those eyes and tried to see what Phil had been so desperately looking for when he pushed them back open, for whatever sign Phil had wanted to see. He saw nothing.</p><p>“Phil, if you go to prison Tommy and I will be alone, we’ll have no one.”</p><p>This seemed to work, as Phil tore his eyes firmly away from his dead son and to his still breathing ones. “No, I can’t leave you two alone.”</p><p>“Exactly, so we need to get our story straight. Tommy and I came home, to you unconscious in the back yard. Will came out with two swords from my room and then detonated the button, blowing up the house. We don’t know where he got the explosives. He gave me the sword to fight him, but I threw it into the forest, and he decided to stab himself. Phil, you pulled the sword out and handed it to Tommy while you tried to save Wilbur, which is why both of your fingerprints are on that sword.”</p><p>Phil nodded and Tommy ran through the story in his head as many times as he could. He felt ill, having to lie about Wilbur’s final moments, but he knew he had to. They couldn’t lose Phil too.</p><p>“It’s not my best story but it will have to do, it’s our only chance.”</p><p>By that point, the lights of the emergency services had begun to flash against the trees, red and blue, over and over again. Tommy steeled himself and watched as fire fighters began on the house, an ambulance and police car also pulling up behind it, clearly no one had known what to expect when they had seen the smoke from the Za family home.</p><p>Tommy watched as the police swarmed the crime scene, and he flinched away as they began to discuss Wilbur’s body. For the next few hours, he was interrogated extensively and he repeated Techno’s story, careful to word it carefully so it didn’t sound pre-fabricated. He had to hope it would be enough.</p><p>It seemingly was and around midnight that night the Za’s were let out, Phil and Techno's interrogations taking longer than Tommy's own.  Some of the townsfolk had heard by this point, and offering their condolences, they had rented a hotel room for the small family. The three men sat down on the hotel beds, after having finally scrubbed the ache of the day away, left numb.</p><p>A knock came at the door and Phil rolled onto his back and to his side, Tommy’s eyes flicking to the door in concern. He didn’t think Phil or Techno could handle anymore empty platitudes from well-meaning neighbours, and honestly neither could Tommy. But then a voice called out.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>It echoed in a way that was so familiar, and the family sat up straight. Tommy found his legs first, bounding for the door and throwing it open.</p><p>In front of him stood a pale teenager, with grey hair, skin and eyes. He wore a familiar looking yellow sweater, a bloody hole in the chest, and he smiled calmly down at Tommy. It was Wilbur, clearly, but he looked as if all of the colours had been drained away from him, leaving only his sweater still bright. Tommy remembered, in that moment, his dream from so long ago, of a deathly shade who had followed behind him, a pale imitation of his brother.</p><p>“I’m Ghostbur.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Techno: Let me tell you-<br/>Tommy: You ain't gonna tell me shit.<br/>Techno: Listen to me-<br/>Tommy: Eat shit<br/>Techno: Shut up<br/>Tommy: Go fuck yourself.</p><p>-<br/>How we feeling after this chapter? This one made me just as sad writing it as the last one did tbh. Like, Phil's desperation and Tommy and Techno lashing out, I felt bad writing this lol. But yay, Ghostbur's here everyone! I'm sure nothing will go wrong ever again.<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, the family meets Ghostbur, my sweet beautiful angel who has never done anything wrong in his very short existence.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Lost the Passion That Comes With Living</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The family meet Ghostbur.</p><p>Chapter title from 'It's All Futile! It's All Pointless' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I like it now but my brain is feeling super fuzzy and faint at the moment, so not sure how I'll feel about it when I'm feeling better. But I wanted to get this chapter out, mild brain fog be damned so here you go. <br/>Also, I keep getting comments with people theorising with this really cool idea, that I wish I had thought of. It makes sense, it would be really interesting to explore and I just like it a lot, but it won't fit into the story so I can't use it. Dang.</p><p>TW for general shittiness from the characters (they just lost a family member and definitely firmly in the anger stage of grief still). Also, at one point there is a brief description of someone who is very skinny, it's not major and hopefully not triggering but I use kind of dark language for that description so figured I'd warn about it. Stop reading after the line 'He looked particularly pathetic as he stood there, lost' and you can either skip the rest of that paragraph or pick it back up when it says 'He smiled and Tommy knew...' Either will work, it's in the middle of a paragraph so whichever is more beneficial to you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy stared at the spectre in front of them, shocked into silence. He remembered seeing this spirit very briefly, when he was exiled in his dreams, but he had never expected him to appear in the real world. Even knowing his dreams were another life, in another universe, there had always been a fine layer of separation between what was possible in his dreams and what was possible in the real world. The appearance of a ghost belonged firmly and solely in his dreams.</p><p>The ghost was still smiling, seemingly unaware of the tense silence. He was looking around their hotel room, stood just in front of the doorstep, waiting to be let in. Could ghosts only come in if they were given permission. Tommy was pretty sure that was vampires, not ghosts, but what would he know? He hadn’t ever thought ghosts were real.</p><p>Techno had walked up behind Tommy, and the younger boy tensed. He couldn’t help but think back to hours earlier, their screaming match. The seconds seem to drag on, as Techno stared at the ghost of his brother.</p><p>“You’re not Wilbur.” He finally said, voice devoid of emotion, numb and cold.</p><p>“No, I’m not. I’m Ghostbur.” The ghost actually stuck out a hand towards Techno, as if expecting a handshake. Techno grabbed the door, wrenching it out of Tommy’s grip as he slammed it shut into Ghostbur’s face. Tommy watched, distantly amused, as the ghost’s hand remained in the air where it had been placed, intangibly going through the door, before Ghostbur pulled it away, the limb disappearing from sight.</p><p>Techno sighed shakily, blinking hard at the door he had just closed. Tommy could tell the boy was questioning his own sanity, and honestly Tommy had begun to as well. The events of the day were catching up to him, and it was a long, painful and confusing mess.</p><p>Another knock came at the door, and Techno wrenched it back open. His face was closed off, something like hope lurking in the depths of his eyes as he came face to face again with the ghost of his brother.</p><p>Ghostbur was <em>still </em>smiling, and he said “Hello, I’m Ghostbur.”</p><p>Tommy wanted to pull out his hair in frustration, and he could see out of the corner of his eye Techno's hand curling up into a fist, looking ready to throw it into the doorframe beside Ghostbur’s head.</p><p>“You look stressed, have some blue!” The phantom spoke, reaching into the air and suddenly some kind of blue… fluff was in his hand. Tommy couldn’t tell where it came from, seeming to appear out of nowhere, but it was suddenly being thrust into his hands by the happy ghost. Tommy wasn’t sure if he had ever seen Wilbur so happy, and it was beginning to drain on his mental state, which had already been teetering on the edge of collapse for hours by this point.</p><p>He simply accepted the blue, as Ghostbur kept talking. “Calm yourself, please.” Staring into the fluff, which felt like heavy air in his hands, he could feel himself beginning to calm. His eyes snapped up, suddenly remembering the night so long ago that Wilbur had used his powers to force him into calmness. It didn’t feel as all encompassing as that had thought. Instead of feeling like a heavy blanket over his fear, it was like soft happiness attaching itself to the panic, dulling it like a lullaby to a crying baby.</p><p>The ghost also didn’t seem to have the same forcefulness as Wilbur had, where usually his echoing words were pointed and direct, Ghostbur’s seemed to float through the air, a sad melody, happy words played on a minor key.</p><p>“You used your powers.” Tommy said to the ghost, and Techno, who had been engaging in a silent staring contest with his dead brother looked towards the blonde in confusion. “You told me to calm down, and I did.”</p><p>Ghostbur looked confused. “No, I don’t have powers like that silly. I just gave you blue. Blue did that.”</p><p>Techno stared down at the fluff in Tommy’s hands, eyes narrowed and suspicious. “What is ‘blue’?”</p><p>“It starts transparent, then it sucks away all your sadness and anger, and it turns blue. And then it simply melts away, or you can throw it away if you’d prefer. But it trivialises it, so there are no problems anymore.”</p><p>Tommy stares down at the blue, apprehensive. He could feel that apprehension being soaked away and soon, the blue melted like cotton candy exposed to water. Just evaporated away. Without the blue clouding his emotions though, he was struck with a realisation. “If it starts transparent and then turns blue with sadness, why was it already blue when you gave it to me. Are you sad?”</p><p>Ghostbur scrunched up his face, squinting his eyes, blinking a few times as he tilted his head. His eyes were blank, no emotions, which was strange to see on the face of someone who before death was like an open book. The smile was still frozen on his face, but it didn’t look as genuine before, suddenly stilted. He blinked a couple more times before the confused and blank glaze to his eyes cleared and his smile returned to its full glory.</p><p>“Hello, I’m Ghostbur.”</p><p>Techno slammed his fist into the wall, the ghost not even flinching, just looking mildly amused. “You’ve already said that!”</p><p>“Have I? I’m sorry, my memory isn’t very good. I can’t remember a lot of things.”</p><p>Techno looked like he might start crying, frustrated tears rising up in his eyes, clearly not coping with this visage of his brother, so Tommy stepped in again. “What do you remember?”</p><p>“Happy things! I remember playing the guitar, hanging out with my friends, Phil killing me-”</p><p>“What?” A broken voice came from the bed, and Tommy cursed, turning around. He had forgotten Phil was even in the room honestly, the older man so silent in his grief. It seemed he had been watching this entire situation unfold. “Me killing you was a happy memory?”</p><p>Ghostbur nodded, not seeming to realise how incredibly <em>sad </em>his words actually were. He smiled wider, if that was even possible. “Yes! I was so lost and hurt and you saved me. Of course, it was happy.” Where the words were clearly meant to be comforting, they simply resulted in Phil’s face scrunching up in agony, as he flicked his eyes over the ghost in front of him.</p><p>The ghost of his son.</p><p>In that moment it hit Tommy, that this was really a ghost. A ghost of a boy he had witnessed being murdered, or maybe mercy killed was a better term for it, by his own father. This morning this had been an alive teenager, and now it was a shade of that former child, only seemingly half there. Tommy could look through Ghostbur, past his translucent skin and out into the hotel parking lot. He wasn’t there, not really. Only holding onto the real world by a thread.</p><p>Phil and Techno seemed to realise the same, it finally setting in that this was a ghost. They didn’t seem happy about this. Tommy didn’t blame them.</p><p>“Leave.” Techno broke the silence. “Get out.”</p><p>Ghostbur blinked in confusion, head tilting again. He looked like a lost puppy who had just been kicked when he did that. His echo seemed to get more severe the more confused he got. “But I’m your brother.”</p><p>“No. You said it yourself, you aren’t Wilbur, you’re ‘Ghostbur’. My brother is dead. He’s gone. You’re not him, not really!” Techno spat out.</p><p>“Calm yourself!” Ghostbur reached into the air again, pulling out blue, a few shades darker already than the one he had handed Tommy not long ago. He held it out for Techno, who attempted to knock the outstretched arm away, but simply passed through it. The older boy gasped and punched the wall again. He was going to break his hand if he kept doing that.</p><p>Phil looked just as angry with the ghost as Techno. He had been swinging wildly on a pendulum between numb and inconsolably grief stricken for the past few hours, but this rage was not a welcome change from that state. Tommy didn’t want to be here, not with this family who were falling apart at the seams. They all just looked so sad and hurt and angry.</p><p>Ghostbur was curling in on himself, blinking rapidly. His dark grey hair had fallen over his eyes and he looked particularly pathetic as he stood there, lost. He seemed to grow more skeletal, in those moments going beyond Wilbur’s slight frame, into something deathly. But he shifted suddenly, and his stature looked the same as it had whilst he was alive, as if the previous boniness was simply a trick of the light. He smiled and Tommy knew what the next words out of his mouth would be.</p><p>“Hello, I’m Gho-”</p><p>“Shut up!” Phil shouted out, and the ghost flinched back. “Leave. You’re not Wilbur, so just leave.”</p><p>The phantom began to shake, and Tommy could swear there were tears forming in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, clutching at the soft fabric of his sweater. He looked like a small child, holding a teddy bear after a nightmare. Tommy felt pity for the ghost, and anger at his foster family. He understood they were grieving, of course he did, but they were screaming at someone who had only died hours ago, someone they cared about and they were looking at him like he was some kind of stranger.</p><p>“I-I don’t have anywhere to g-go. Please, I-I” His words were growing increasingly more frantic, and tearful, and Techno and Phil looked more uncomfortable with each passing second. Tommy was sure they would apologise but suddenly Techno was clenching his jaw and Phil turned around. It was like watching a train wreck, seeing the inevitable crash seconds too late, forced to stand there as everything went to absolute shit. Ghostbur let out a few shaking breaths, despite the fact he probably didn’t need to breathe. By this point the phantom was nearly screaming. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m-”</p><p>A lamp in the room came crashing to the floor, out of nowhere, and Ghostbur flinched violently at the noise, jumping a foot in the air where he then hovered. His face went blank and he just… floated there, feet off the floor. He was staring into space, playing with his fingers, interlacing them and twisting them around nervously, and if Tommy listened carefully, he could hear him humming lightly.</p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Tommy shouted at Phil and Techno. “I get it, you’re grieving, but there is Wilbur. Sure, it’s his ghost and he’s only half here, but it’s him! How can you scream at him? He's still your son, still your brother! He’s here, you can talk to him and see him and you’re throwing it away because what? You feel guilty and this ghost doesn’t blame you?”</p><p>Techno and Phil both looked regretful, first looking at the floor and then at Tommy and Ghostbur. Phil reached out a shaking hand towards the ghost, who didn’t seem to notice as it went through his arm, his father pulling back suddenly as if burned.</p><p>“Ghostbur?” Tommy asked, staring at the blank ghost. His attention seemed to snap towards the younger boy and he floated down slightly, still not touching the ground but lowered slightly. He smiled sweetly, and Tommy attempted to smile back. There was something about this ghost, something comfortable and familiar, like stepping into your childhood room and finding everything in their place, a little dusty but how you remembered. The little cracks in the walls you had long since forgotten but so intrinsically a part of your memory.</p><p>“Hello, I’m Ghostbur.” He spoke, as if the past few minutes hadn’t happened. And to him it probably hadn’t, he had said he only remembered happy things. That must have been why he ‘reset’, going back to his little introduction, he forgot when he became upset.</p><p>“I’m Tommy.”</p><p>“I know!” The ghost said happily. He had released his grip on his fingers, instead using his hands to gesticulate as he spoke.</p><p>“Why don’t you come in? We were just about to go to bed.” Tommy said, guiding the ghost over the threshold of the hotel room, smiling at him encouragingly. Ghostbur floated in and smiled at his older brother and father. He waved slightly and Tommy was thankful when they both waved back, although more hesitantly, clearly him yelling at them had made them both get their heads out of their asses, at least temporarily.</p><p>“I don’t sleep.” Ghostbur supplied. Tommy wasn’t sure how he knew he didn’t sleep but figured it was some kind of ghostly intuition. He nodded, and looked towards Phil.</p><p>“You can just lay down in my bed Wil- Ghostbur. Wait with us until morning.” The translucent teen nodded and laid down to the side of the double bed. Phil hesitantly laid down beside his son, hopping under his covers, while Techno and Tommy hopped into their individual singles. It felt a bit weird to go from meeting the ghost version of your foster brother and then straight to sleep, but Tommy was exhausted under the eventful day.</p><p>And so, they went to asleep, all acutely aware of the spectre laying in the dark with them. A remnant of the past.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ghostbur: Hello, I'm Ghostbur<br/>Techno+Phil: Shut the fuck up<br/>Tommy: Listen here you dicks.</p><p>-<br/>Not a massive fan of this chapter as I said but it's the best I could manage tonight. <br/>Also, to anyone who was hoping for some happiness with Ghostbur this chapter... sorry.<br/>-</p><p>Next chapter, Tommy and Ghostbur bond</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. He Might As Well Be Dying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy and Ghostbur have a chat in a park</p><p>-</p><p>Chapter title from 'Maybe I Was Boring' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I will be going away for a couple days with some friends, so I may or may not have time to write. (I honestly have no clue what we will be doing but it might be odd to bring out my laptop so can't make any promises of chapters.) If I don't post for a few days, that's why.<br/>Hope you like this chapter... I'm not sure how I feel about it lol. It feels too exposition dumpy (you'll see what I mean) but I couldn't figure out a better way to deliver this information so hope it works okay.<br/>Also I mention football in this chapter, I mean soccer but British people call it football so I guess I have to call it that for this. Just making sure we are all on the same page about what I'm talking about.</p><p>TW for brief mention of vomit (why do I always mention vomit in this story?), very brief mention of underage drinking, emotional manipulation, panic attacks, and a person purposefully doing an action that can hurt them when frustrated (not self harm exactly, but a character very briefly hits themself in the head while panicking)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days passed slowly and quietly. Any attempts to figure out what was happening with his dream world were on hold as the family mourned, not that Tommy could blame them.</p><p>Every day seemed to pass the same. They would all wake up, in the single hotel room, with Ghostbur hovering around, looking through the donations of food or clothes people had been dropping off at the reception office or simply watching them while they had slept. The first time that had happened, Tommy had jumped nearly a foot in the air.</p><p>The ghost hadn’t seemed to realise that standing at the foot of the bed and staring at him in silence in the dark was creepy.</p><p>Phil and Techno would then go about their days, mostly silent. Phil was trying to organise a million things at once; getting the house fixed, ensuring Tommy and Techno would not be overwhelmed with homework when they eventually went back to school, and… the funeral. The first time Tommy had seen Phil, staring at his bank account information on one tab of his computer and looking at coffins on the other tab, he had rushed to the bathroom and thrown up. Ghostbur had knelt behind him, attempting and failing at rubbing his back to comfort the boy.</p><p>Tommy wasn’t sure what Techno did each day. Once he spent a day lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, but the other two days he was out somewhere, disappearing for hours on end and not returning until dinner time.</p><p>Tommy himself hadn’t been doing much. He tried to leave the hotel room as much as possible, to give Phil some space, but there wasn’t really much to do. Any time he tried to do something fun he found himself raked with guilt. So instead, he would sit in the park, on a bench and tried to picture how Wilbur must have spent his teenage years. He could imagine him hanging out with friends, making the kind of trouble only teenagers could get away with, maybe playing his guitar under a tree.</p><p>He hadn’t lived in this town before he’d been fostered by Phil, so there was no chance he had seen any of this and yet he could imagine it so vividly that he was sure it had happened. He had mentioned it to Ghostbur once, who nodded his head and told him a story of when he had been 15 and gone to a bonfire with his friends, slightly tipsy and stumbling home at 3 am. He laughed as he explained how Phil had started to yell at him before seeming to change his mind, and instead just grounded him for a couple days.</p><p>Tommy wondered why it was a happy memory, but it did sound kind of funny to him, picturing a younger Wilbur trying and failing to act sober in the early hours of the morning. He imagined Phil sat in the dark, with the single lamp on like something out of a movie and he laughed alongside the ghost.</p><p>He received a few odd looks at that.</p><p>No one outside of the family seemed to be able to see Ghostbur. He was thankful for it, not sure how he would explain a grayscale person who floated in the air, but it also meant he had to be subtle when he talked to the ghost, so no one could hear him talking to seemingly himself.</p><p>On the fourth day since the fire, and Wilbur’s death, he left the hotel room and went to the park. He laid back against one of the trees deeper in, away from the prying eyes of others and watched as Ghostbur flopped down into a cross legged pose. The ghost always seemed to follow him, not comfortable with being alone with either Phil or Techno. He was pretty sure the other two were thankful of that, they had been uncomfortable in his presence this whole time.</p><p>He could tell Phil was trying to be kinder, trying to build up his walls to make himself strong against the reality of what he had done to his son, but Tommy could see the cracks. Techno didn’t even bother, acting like Ghostbur wasn’t there half the time and the other half talking down to him. Sometimes Ghostbur would catch on, for all of two seconds before he reset to the beginning of the conversation, but mostly he seemed oblivious to the frustration that rolled off of Techno in waves.</p><p>Tommy was also thankful that Ghostbur avoided the other two as much as possible. It pained him every time the ghost would stand next to his living family. It reminded the young boy of how badly he had failed this poor family, how much pain he had brought them. It probably reminded them of the same thing. He was waiting for the day the other shoe would drop and they would kick him out. He’d started forming a plan for what he would do when that happened. He couldn’t risk being fostered by another family, destroying more people with his curse. He would have to run away, live on the streets and fend for himself.</p><p>He didn’t want to do that, but he was prepared to if it meant keeping others safe, saving them from this heartache he had already inflicted on one innocent family.</p><p>“It’s all my fault.” He mused aloud, pulling up a few blades of grass as Ghostbur hummed beside him. The ghost looked up, tilting his head like a confused puppy.</p><p>“What is?”</p><p>“Your death.” Tommy told the truth, making eye contact with the ghost who wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him, who wouldn’t be half a person, and instead would be a whole and living human.</p><p>Ghostbur frowned and fiddled with his hands, a sign Tommy knew meant he was fighting down bad emotions. He sat there for a few seconds in silence and Tommy thought he reset, but he looked up and made eye contact with the younger boy instead.</p><p>“No, it’s not. It wasn’t your fault, just like it wasn’t your fault the first time.”</p><p>Tommy sighed, he knew the ghost was too innocent, too happy to fully grasp what exactly he had done wrong- wait, the first time?</p><p>“What do you mean the first time?”</p><p>“The first time I died.”</p><p>It took a few moments for Tommy to register what that meant. “Do you mean in L’Manberg?”</p><p>Ghostbur had a wide smile on his face like he hadn’t just dropped a massive bomb. “Yes.”</p><p>Tommy was reeling. Ghostbur, somehow, remembered L’Manberg. He remembered the events of Tommy’s dreams. He let out a shocked huff, staring at the ghost in front of him. The ghost, not noticing his shock, kept speaking.</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault in L’Manberg and it wasn’t your fault in any of the other universes.”</p><p>Other universes? What the fuck?</p><p>“What do you mean other universes?”</p><p>“The other universes Dream has made.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t know how to handle this information. He felt like it was something the others would need to hear but he had a feeling they wouldn’t appreciate being called up to listen to Ghostbur speak.</p><p>“How many universes has Dream made?”</p><p>“I can’t remember, he’s made so many. He just makes a new one once he’s done with the one he’s currently working on. I think he gets bored easily, or frustrated. I’m not sure, he doesn’t really speak to me much in them.”</p><p>“You remember all of these universes? Does that mean Wilbur knew my dreams were real, and what was happening in them and he never said anything?” Tommy was furious. How dare Wilbur see how much he was struggling and keep it quiet like that?</p><p>“No. I only remember them once I become Ghostbur. I think I’m not meant to exist; not like I do. I was at first an accident, but I think Dream gets lonely, so he always tries to bring me back by killing the Wilbur of the newest universe. It’s why he tried so hard to make your Wilbur go crazy, he just missed me, I guess. Or maybe it’s for power. I don’t really know, he likes to end the universes on me suddenly, it hurts a lot, it feels like I’m on fire, but he’s my friend so it’s okay.”</p><p>Throughout the little speech Tommy had started to feel bad for Ghostbur. He couldn’t imagine being used as some cosmic god’s plaything, although he probably figured he should be able to imagine it since it was technically what was happening to him. But it was different for him, he wasn’t forced to remember every single way Dream had screwed with him. But then Ghostbur had called Dream his friend.</p><p>Tommy flinched back at that, scrambling up and away from Ghostbur, trying to find somewhere he could run. There was a football game a little bit away, and a concrete path which winded its way through the park.</p><p>“Tommy what’s wrong?”</p><p>“You’re Dream’s friend.”</p><p>Ghostbur frowned, blinking.</p><p>“Yes. But I’m also your friend.”</p><p>Tommy shook his head, back away from the ghostly spectre who was trying to reach out a hand towards him. “No. You can’t be my friend and Dream’s friend. He’s… he’s torturing me. Doing all of this to mess with me, because I pissed him off. He’s evil. And he got Wilbur killed, you can’t be his friend.”</p><p>“But he said he was my friend.” Ghostbur sounded sad.</p><p>“Does he prove he’s your friend? Is he nice to you, does he look after you and treat you well?” Tommy spat at the ghost. He had a feeling he knew the answer.</p><p>“No, but-”</p><p>“He’s not your friend, he’s using you. He wouldn’t hurt you; he wouldn’t have tried to get Wilbur killed and he wouldn’t end the universes if he knew it burned you. He’s not your friend Ghostbur. You’re just his… his plaything. Like me, and Wilbur and apparently every fucking thing in this universe and every other universe. He’s like a kid, deciding that if he can’t have his toy, then no one can and destroying it in a tantrum. He’s not your friend.”</p><p>Ghostbur had been growing increasingly upset, the longer Tommy had spoken. He was starting to pull at his hair, rocking back and forth as he began to hover. He looked so scared and confused, and Tommy felt bad, but he knew he had to get this through the ghost’s head. It was important to him, in a way that extended beyond what would make sense for the situation. It felt like him and the version of him from his dreams had joined together, to try and help this ghost of his older brother. He just wanted to protect Ghostbur, keep him safe from everyone else.</p><p>“He’s my friend, he is, he is, he is, he is, he-” Ghostbur kept going, chanting it like it was a mantra, his eyes squeezed shut. He was trembling and the wind around them started to pick up more and more. Tommy frowned, looking around as the trees began to shake, and leaves started to fly off the ground, whipping across the park at high speeds. A shout from where the football game was being played caused Tommy to look over there, turning just in time to watch the ball change directions suddenly, without being kicked, suddenly flying to the side and up, towards someone’s head. Everyone ducked and tried to chase after the ball, which had landed in some bushes. A picnic a little bit away was being disrupted, as long hair flew around people’s faces and their blanket lifted up in the corners. The wind was so strong and unnatural, it didn’t seem possible. Less like wind and more like something invisible was throwing everything around.</p><p>Tommy looked back at Ghostbur who was roughly hitting the side of his head with a balled up fist, face scrunched up. “Ghostbur, Ghostbur-” He tried to get his attention. The phantom’s face suddenly went blank, his hands dropping down to his sides as his eyes opened and stared into nothingness. The wind abruptly stopped, as quickly as it had started.</p><p>Ghostbur blinked a couple of times, clearly having reset, before smiling at the boy who was staring up at him in shock. “Sorry Tommy, what were we talking about?”</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>Looks like Ghostbur had some powers of his own.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ghostbur: Dream’s so nice<br/>Tommy: Bitch no<br/>(I forgot to do this one for this chapter and remembered while a little bit tipsy so sorry it sucks lol)<br/>-<br/>Please let me know what you think, and if you liked it please tell me that because I really didn't like this chapter and I need a confidence boost lol<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, a family discussion</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Even Though I'm Finished, I'm Not Quite Done With It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The family have a conversation about the universe.</p><p>Chapter title from 'I'm Sorry Boris' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, long time no see. Sorry I've been so absent, I've had a very flat week emotionally and I just couldn't bring myself to feel the motivation to work on this. Even when I got started, I had to write this over 2 periods (I literally always write in one sitting) and I really had to force myself to finish it in this second sitting. I just... couldn't write this, it was like a hurdle that's way too tall for me. I think I started to get back in the flow by the end, but the beginning and all of the dialogue are pretty bad this chapter. Sorry, but it was either this or not hear from me for another week lol, because I had to get past this chapter. Just, don't think too hard about anything in the dialogue lol.<br/>I'm excited for next chapter though, I can't wait to write the angst.<br/>I'm also currently sad about the fact that people don't commission fanfiction lol. My mum is pressuring me to get a job but my mental health will not cope with one, but I need to save up money for my university exchange next year so idk what to do. I'd love to do commissions but my art is not strong enough to justify opening commissions. My strong suit is writing, but fanfiction is never commissioned and I feel weird trying to sell my original writing unless it's a fully fleshed out novel or script to a publishing company. Also, this isn’t me asking for commissions lol, just lamenting the fact I will probably never be able to open up commissions for fanfiction because no one would want to commission it. </p><p>ANYWAYS, TW for this chapter is just some existentialism, very vague panic attack (I think, if I missed any triggers please let me know and I will update this)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy rushed back to the hotel, running past the park visitors who were looking around confused by the sudden wind that Ghostbur had caused. The ghost was floating behind him, mumbling in confusion. Tommy knew he should stop, reassure the ghost who seemed rather upset at his own lack of knowledge, but he had to get back to the hotel as quickly as possible. He had to tell Techno and Phil what he had discovered.</p><p>By the time he had reached the hotel, he had begun to pant in exhaustion. He was not used to running and especially not as far as he just had. He put his hands on his knees, hacking up his lungs in regret as he attempted to heave in oxygen. Ghostbur stood beside him, completely unaffected by the distance they had just covered at high speeds. Of course he was unaffected, he had floated the whole way there and didn’t even have lungs to get out of breath.</p><p>For a split-second Tommy was jealous, shooting a glare towards the tall boy beside him but then he remembered just how exactly Wilbur had gotten to that point and he swallowed his envy down like a bitter pill, a lump forming in his throat. He closed his eyes, taking a few moments before knocking on the door.</p><p>Phil opened the door, dark bags clear under his eyes, hair sticking up at odd directions like he’d shoved a hand through it multiple times. He attempted a smile, “Hi Tommy. You’re back quick-”</p><p>“I have to tell you something. You and Techno.” Tommy interrupted, and Phil looked taken aback before frowning. He got out of the doorway, letting Tommy and Ghostbur through. Tommy didn’t miss how Phil ducked away before Ghostbur could cross his path, moving back to sit at the table with his laptop, which he stared down at in frustration.</p><p>“Techno’s out, and I don’t want to call him just yet. The funeral is tomorrow, he’s trying to cope, I can’t just call him up.”</p><p>Tommy felt guilty but he knew he had to tell them. As quickly as possible. If Ghostbur was right, that Dream could simply decide to end a universe when he got bored of it, they needed to figure out a way to defeat him before it got to that point. Tommy was not in the mood to have his entire existence erased, even if it meant he had to find a way to kill a god.</p><p>“Please Phil, it’s important. It’s about Dream.” Phil stiffened at the name, and he sighed before grabbing his phone from beside his bed. Tommy sat anxiously as Phil spoke on the phone, voice low and apologetic. After hanging up, they all sat in silence. Phil kept sending glances to Ghostbur, something Tommy had seen him do a lot over the past few days. The man still didn’t seem fully comfortable with the ghost of his son and even though Tommy couldn’t blame him, he felt bad for the teenager. Of course, it wasn’t like Ghostbur ever noticed, or if he did he quickly forgot it.</p><p>Eventually Techno came home, covered in sweat and with bruises and blood on his hands. Phil took one look at his hands, sighing before directing his eldest son to the bathroom. Once the door was closed, Phil slumped on the bed. “Bruised knuckles. That’ll look great at the funeral.” His voice was bitter, and Tommy longed for the easy-going nature the older man had held before all of this had happened.</p><p>He mourned that version of Phil almost as much as Wilbur. It was like the death had left behind not one but two ghosts, shades of humans who used to be so full of life and now were devoid.</p><p>Techno came out a few minutes later, having taken a quick shower. He held a hotel towel to his hands; the white material being quickly covered in red blood.</p><p>“Phil said you had something important to tell us Tommy?” Techno spoke, voice as rough and monotone as ever.</p><p>“I was at the park and I started talking to Ghostbur about… Dream and he mentioned the first universe. As in, my dream universe.” Tommy started to explain, glossing over why exactly they had been discussing Dream in the first place. He didn’t want to burden Techno and Phil with his own guilt over Wilbur’s death, not when they were barely dealing with their own.</p><p>“So wait, Wi- Ghostbur knows about your dreams?” Techno frowned, and Tommy decided not to bring up what he had nearly called the ghost.</p><p>“Not just knows about them, remembers them. Like he was there.”</p><p>“Was he there?”</p><p>The silence after Phil’s question was crushing. Tommy could feel his face burning, uncomfortable with the realisation by the family that Tommy had seen Ghostbur before Wilbur had died. That Wilbur’s death had happened in his dreams. It felt like he could have done something to prevent all of this, and he was sure Phil and Techno were thinking the same thing. If he had just told them, maybe Wilbur would still be alive, and they wouldn’t be attending his funeral tomorrow.</p><p>Ghostbur, seeming to notice the awkward tension, brought out some blue, trying to hand it to the younger boy, who just motioned for him to put it away. He frowned for a second before shrugging and pocketing the blue fluff, floating away from the conversation and to the beds. The ghost laid down on one, staring up at the ceiling, and Tommy turned his attention away from him and back towards the conversation at hand.</p><p>“Yes. He died in both.” Phil looked heartbroken at the confirmation, and Tommy could see Techno’s hand curl up into a fist around the bloodied towel.</p><p>“But it wasn’t just my dream and then this world.” Tommy continued, and the Za family’s heads snapped up to meet his eyes in shock. “Ghostbur said there were multiple universes, that Dream kept creating them, kept destroying them and making new ones whenever he got bored. Wilbur dies in all of them, Dream always makes sure it happens.”</p><p>Phil’s sadness was quickly morphing into rage, and Tommy took a half step back unconsciously. “So, not only did Dream orchestrate my son’s death in this world, he did it in countless others as well? Why? Does he just enjoy us suffering?”</p><p>“Probably. Ghostbur said he thinks Dream was just lonely and needed a friend, but it sounds to me like he’s been seriously gaslit and Dream just does it for the hell of it. But again, Dream apparently just decides to end universes whenever he gets bored, so we need to hurry up and figure out a way to stop him unless you want your entire existence to be wiped out.”</p><p>Phil sent a look towards the ghost lying across his bed and something crossed over his face, something Tommy didn’t want to spend too long deciphering. It looked as if Phil almost wanted that to happen, for his grief to be gone, even if it meant his existence went with it. He sighed. “But Ghostbur seemed to remember everything. So, it’s not like his existence got wiped.”</p><p>“He had to die to get to that point. I only remember the first universe, not the rest and Wilbur when he was alive didn’t seem to remember anything, just seemed to know what Dream was telling him. And I don’t think it would happen for the rest of us. Why wouldn’t Dream target all of us, why only Wilbur? It’s like something happened that means only he would remember, probably something in the first universe. I think it would be like this version of us would be gone. Forever.”</p><p>“Is that even really our Wilbur?” Techno spoke up, having remained silent for most of this discussion.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Tommy made eye contact with the pink haired boy, who was staring at the ghost. “If this Ghostbur remembers all of the previous universes, and our Wilbur didn’t, isn’t this Ghostbur just an amalgamation of all of the universes versions of Wilbur? Sure, he has some of our Will’s memories, but he’s presumably got memories from every universe. Our Wilbur has just been absorbed into everything else Ghostbur remembers. It’s like… he’s just taken the spot of Wilbur, it’s not really him. Like the ship of Theseus, how many new pieces can you replace until it’s no longer the original?”</p><p>The existential talk was starting to make Tommy’s head hurt and he knew he had to stop this getting any further, he did not need them to question every aspect of their lives. Finding out you are one version of yourself in a sea of countless others was bad enough, he didn’t need a philosophy lesson on top of it.</p><p>“Look, I’d rather we discuss how to kill a literal god over whatever the hell you just said okay? Techno, your chat mentions a blood god, could whatever that is help us?”</p><p>“I don’t think the chat are talking about a real god, or if they are it’s news to me. They’ve just been saying it to me my whole life, it’s just a saying at this point. Maybe it meant something in another universe.”</p><p>"Wait," Phil spoke up, voice nervous as he played lightly with his fingers. It reminded him of what Ghostbur would do when he got nervous, and suddenly Tommy could picture a 13-year-old Wilbur, new to the Za family and scared out of his mind, latching onto something that was comforting to his new foster father, until it got to the point it became a coping mechanism he kept even after death. He shook the mental image away, focusing on what Phil had to say.</p><p>“If we kill Dream, who apparently is responsible for our universe and conceivably all universes… won’t it just end our universe? Either way, aren’t we just doomed to it all ending?”</p><p>Tommy bit at his lip, thinking it through. It made sense, that killing Dream would kill everything, but he just knew deep down that wouldn’t be what happened. Besides, maybe they couldn’t kill him, but there had to be a way to lock him up, to put him away so he could never hurt anyone again.</p><p>As they all stood there in silent thought, a series of soft whimpers started to drift from the beds. Looking over, Tommy could see Ghostbur, laying stiffly, eyes wide as they stared at something in the corner of the room. But there was nothing there, empty space. It didn’t make sense for the sheer panic in Ghostbur’s eyes though, he clearly saw something.</p><p>“Sleep paralysis.” Phil breathed out, beginning to storm his way towards the ghost of his son, crouching down beside the bed. Ghostbur was making hissing noises as he attempted to breathe through his noise, mouth clamped shut. Tommy didn’t know a ghost who didn’t need to breathe could hyperventilate and yet here they were. He also didn't know ghosts could even get sleep paralysis, so maybe he should just stop trying to figure out what ghosts could or couldn't do.</p><p>Phil was trying to grab Ghostbur’s hand, which was splayed flat against the sheets, shaking slightly as he clearly tried to move the stiff fingers, unable to do so. When Phil tried to curl his hand around Ghostbur’s however, it simply passed right through, and Phil breathed in sharply. He tried again to no avail and the father was forced to just sit there, trying to talk his dead son through it, unable to use anything that had previously provided comfort in a moment like this.</p><p>Tommy had noticed over the month he had been staying with them, how the family moved around each other. Phil and Techno were like a practised dance, always skirting around the other, not touching but showing their presence in the way the wind moved between them. Techno and Wilbur had been like the sun and the moon, when Wilbur had one of his good days, one shrinking away from the other but in a way that felt like an admission of fondness. Half hearted shrugs off and smirks as he dipped away, while the other’s long fingers would attempt to bunch up fabric or ruffle pink hair.</p><p>But Phil and Wilbur, they had been mutually tactile. Casual touches and gentle hugs were a regular part of their vocabulary. On Wilbur’s good days, the two would bump into each other, lingering an extra couple of seconds as if to show they were there, before softly pushing each other away, laughter soft on the air. On Wilbur’s bad days, Phil’s presence became a more forceful sense of comfort. He would cling on tight as Wilbur thrashed, in a restraining hold, running a strong hand through his hair until his shaking eased off into heaving sobs, at which point Phil would hum and gently card fingers through Wilbur’s brown curls.</p><p>Now though, now Phil had to watch his son in agony, unable to offer any comfort beyond meaningless words that Ghostbur didn’t even seem to really hear. He just kept sobbing.</p><p>A few pillows seemed to lift off the bed opposite them, as well as various knick knacks around the hotel room, which began to fly through the air, picking up speed. Phil, apparently adapting fast to the new power, just raised his voice, trying to get the ghost to listen as he attempted to coach him through his fear.</p><p>Techno wrapped an arm around Tommy, and quickly pulled him into the bathroom, out of the way of the flying objects. The two stood there in silence, for around 15 minutes before the chaos in the room began to die down, noise lowering, at which point they came out of their hiding spot.</p><p>Phil was kneeling beside Ghostbur, looking exhausted and decades older than he really was. The ghost was laying there, blue tear tracks clear along his face, as he blankly blinked up at the ceiling. Tommy and Techno surveyed the room, thankfully nothing looked damaged, just messy.</p><p>“So, Ghostbur has powers.” Tommy offered up, hoping someone would take the bait of conversation. Phil let out a tired chuckle but that was it, the man clearly drained emotionally.</p><p>Ghostbur suddenly sat up, blank expression passing as a smile lit up his face. He had reset. He looked down at Phil, frowning slightly, cocking his head to the side like a lost puppy. “Phil, what’s wrong? Have some blue.”</p><p>The ghost held out a grey hand, full of a blue fluff, towards his father, who simply looked up at him through tear-soaked eyelashes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: So, there are these others universes-<br/>Phil + Techno: Sounds like some free real estate to get existential.<br/>Ghostbur:*blowing into a harmonica* I'm having a panic attack</p><p>-<br/>Hope you enjoyed, I'm going to get back into the swing of writing, I'm sure next chapter will be better.<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, a funeral.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. We Cried, Oh, How We Cried</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A funeral<br/>-<br/>Chapter title from 'For Memories' by Wilbur Soot</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*slowly slides in awkwardly* Hey.<br/>Wow, I have been gone a while huh? Look how tall you've gotten, oh how you've grown. Feels like I haven't seen you since you were a baby.<br/>Weird and unfunny jokes aside, I'm so sorry I've been gone so long. I have many excuses, some of which I will list but none that really matter. Just know I'm back, although I can't guarantee daily uploads, I will strive for like... at least two a week?<br/>Here are my excuses, if you wish to read them btw:<br/>-Started university (second year) at the beginning of March<br/>-Got diagnosed with anxiety (was not given an exact diagnosis, but my anxiety is 'extremely severe' on the scale I was given so that's fun.) and depression. Which explains why I could not build up any motivation. I won't get into it too much but I'm now in therapy and medication so yay for getting help<br/>-Got diagnosed with a chest infection (only got diagnosed with like 5 days ago, but I definitely had it before for at least a few days. And since I had pneumonia three times last year, it is currently kicking my ass because my lungs are trash)<br/>-Just generally didn't feel up to writing, especially not this. But I'm determined to finish, especially because I have plenty of ideas for other stories I want to write, and I need to finish this first. It'll be my first completed multi-chapter work. Which considering I have written over 100,000 words of fanfiction is kind of embarrassing.</p><p>TW for this chapter:<br/>Body horror specifically involving melting (and eyes a bit). Skip the entire paragraph starting with 'Ghostbur stepped out into the rain'.<br/>Death, funerals and grief. Also specifically some Christian funeral practises in here, because that was my very minimal baseline for this topic, outside of the research I did. Nothing super Christian but mentions of a priest delivering a funeral and the line 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust'. These characters aren't necessarily Christian, this was just the easiest for me to write.<br/>The briefest mention of someone doing something painful as self punishment. Literally mentioned in one sentence, and it's only speculation on another character's part.<br/>Honestly, if you need to skip this chapter, go ahead. Nothing happens, I just needed to get back into the swing of things.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy adjusted the sleeves of the ill-fitting suit. The three suits had been brought to the hotel room, after Phil had mentioned to the funeral director that all of the family’s formal attire had been destroyed in the fire. The suit was clearly a hand-me-down, stitches missing and a slightly discoloured patch across the left elbow. But ultimately, it was all they could get, and it would have to do.</p><p>Phil’s suit fit a little better, although Tommy watched as he continuously rolled his shoulders under the stiff jacket. Tommy hadn’t seen him release his wings since… since they’d been burned and he couldn’t imagine how much they likely hurt, but the man refused to spread them. Tommy secretly wondered if maybe it was some form of self punishment for the older man.</p><p>Techno’s suit was a little tight but thankfully fit his stature. He was staring into space, a vicious expression across his face and Tommy tried to avoid his gaze as much as possible. There were still times he was terrified of Techno and this was one of them.</p><p>Ghostbur was floating throughout the room, trying to get them all to hold some blue although they all declined. The ghost was confused by this, but he listened when Phil eventually told him to just sit on the bed in silence.</p><p>The Za family were moving around the room quietly, any words spoken were whispered. No one wanted to speak too loudly, as if talking above the volume that would be appropriate in a library would suddenly make this all real.</p><p>Phil came over and quickly tied the tie for Tommy. The young boy didn’t have a heart to tell his foster father that he knew how to put on a tie. He could see how the man’s hands shook and he knew deep down he needed this, some semblance of control he hadn’t had since plunging his sword into his son’s chest.</p><p>The son who this funeral was for.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Once the tie was secure, Tommy rushed to the small kitchenette’s sink and poured himself a glass of water. He shakily finished it all, before taking a few deep breaths and turning back around to face the two alive members of the Za family.</p><p>Phil cleared his throat, “Ready?” The two teenagers nodded and Ghostbur stood up from the bed, smiling happily. “Not you Ghostbur.”</p><p>The ghost frowned and stepped back, “Why not?”</p><p>“Because this isn’t really the kind of thing you should come to.”</p><p>“But you all seem so sad, I can give you Blue.” Ghostbur reassured, a soft smile on his pale face. Phil sighed and Tommy was sure he would start yelling, but instead he nodded and stepped out the door. Techno, Tommy and even Ghostbur were surprised by this, but none of them said anything.</p><p>Tommy and Techno walked out of the hotel room, trudging towards the rental car they had been provided. It was raining heavily and Tommy couldn’t help but muse that it was the perfect kind of weather for a funeral.</p><p>Ghostbur stepped out into the rain, staring up at the dark clouds with a pensive frown. Tommy for some reason found his eyes drawn to the ghost, which is why he noticed when grey began to melt into yellow. He blinked a few times, sure this couldn’t be happening, but it was. The yellow began to trail down the ghost’s thin fingers, and his dark grey hair dripped down onto his light grey skin. His eyes were beginning to melt within their sockets.</p><p>Tommy let out a yelp. Phil turned around and also gasped. “You’re melting!”</p><p>“Hmm?” Ghostbur looked at his hands. “Oh yes, I melt in the rain.”</p><p>“Get back inside.” Phil yelled, rushing forward, seemingly trying to shepherd the tall phantom back into the hotel room. Ghostbur flinched back at the suddenly loud noises, and stepped backwards, nearly tripping over the door frame.</p><p>Phil was looking around Ghostbur’s form in worry, moving about like a frantic mother hen. It reminded Tommy of the genuine concern and despair he had witnessed from the man the previous night during the sleep paralysis episode. It seemed even though Phil was uncomfortable around the ghost, he did care about his safety. It made Tommy hopeful of a time when the family could hopefully begin to mend itself.</p><p>Hopefully.</p><p>“You stay here. We don’t need you melting anymore. Will you stay like this or-”</p><p>“I will begin to reform shortly. I can still come.” Ghostbur tried to reassure but the winged man shook his head.</p><p>“No, it was stupid to let you come anyways. Just-just stay here.” Phil closed the door in his face and locked in. Tommy didn’t mention the fact that the ghost could easily just walk through the walls.</p><p>The three men got into the car and started the silent and stifling drive to the funeral home.</p><p>-</p><p>Tommy stood in the cold room, staring down at the body in the casket. He ignored the dozens of others in the room, mostly Wilbur's school friends and teachers, in favour of his brother.</p><p>Wilbur looked peaceful in death, the blood having been cleaned up and his wound stitched tightly closed. The morticians had clearly applied makeup, to make him appear less pale, however it only made him look more alive than he ever had in his life, too bright against the memory of the boy.</p><p>Phil was standing beside the body, eyes a million miles away as he stared blankly at his son. Tommy kept waiting for the moment Wilbur would sit up, smile at them and joke around. Or maybe he’d back to his mania, talking about needing to wake up.</p><p>But at least he would be alive, not the cold corpse that lay in front of them. Not the ghostly shade that remained in the hotel room.</p><p>Phil reached out a hand, brushing it through Wilbur’s soft curls. He was crying, silently. Sobs with the only sounds being his gasps for air. Tommy had to turn away from the image, slowly making his way to sit beside Techno in the front row. He could see how all of the guests were also trying to ignore the heart-breaking scene in front of them, trying to give a grieving father a semblance of privacy.</p><p>Techno had refused to go up to view the casket. When Tommy had asked, he’d had a simple reason.</p><p>“I don’t need to see that. How they tried to fix him.”</p><p>“Fix him?”</p><p>“Remove his death. That’s what they do. Try and remove anything that makes you think of death, make them look like they are sleeping. They never look like they are sleeping, they look fucking dead, just without being given the dignity of simply being dead. Wilbur was broken when he died. Angry and mad and hurting. Bleeding and crying and covered in ash. They have no right to take that from him.”</p><p>Tommy hadn’t understood it when he’d first heard it, but as he had stared at the casket and the body within it, he had got it.</p><p>He could hear the muffled taps of high heels on carpeted floor walk past him, and he looked up to see a teenage girl walk past him. She was wearing a simple black dress, with her pink hair tied up into a formal bun. She walked up to the casket, placing a hand lightly between Phil’s shoulder blades, whispering soft reassurances to the man. Clutched in one hand was a large soft toy of a shark.</p><p>Tommy craned his head to see what she was doing with the casket, just able to see the outline of Wilbur’s body from where he was when he purposefully sat up straight. The young girl lifted up one of Wilbur’s arms, very gently and gingerly, rubbing her thumb along the back of his hand. She placed the shark at his side and then placed the arm back down, so that he looked to be holding it. She was crying at this point, soft sobs that she was clearly trying to restrain. She placed a gentle kiss against the boy’s forehead and whispered quietly, just loud enough for Tommy to hear.</p><p>“Thank you for letting me borrow Lonesome, I thought I should finally give him back. It’s been long enough huh?”</p><p>She then walked back to her seat, the row behind Tommy and it was then he recognised her. Niki, one of Wilbur’s friends, his best one if he had interpreted the few conversations, he’d heard between them quickly. He was suddenly reminded that they weren’t the only ones who had lost the teenager.</p><p>As he stared at her face as she passed, he suddenly flashed to his dream world, where she stood tall and proud in the L’Manberg uniform.</p><p>After everyone had had their chance to say goodbye, Phil had slowly walked back to the front row for the actual funeral to begin. The priest began, and some guests got up and spoke. Very quickly though the funeral was over, and they had begun the slow walk to the attached cemetery.</p><p>Tommy was instructed to help carry the casket, along with Phil, Techno and a couple of Wilbur’s teachers and friends.</p><p>Techno had looked across the crowd and seemed to have noticed someone because he said “Eret, help carry the casket.”</p><p>Eret, presumably, looked up, shock clear on their face. The shock then turned to grief and regret. However, they quickly nodded and got into position, walking behind the pink haired boy.</p><p>He tried to ignore how strange it felt to know he was carrying the body of his brother. He thought back to Ghostbur, sitting back at the hotel and he found some comfort in that thought.</p><p>They reached the grave site, and Tommy watched as the rest of the funeral was delivered and then the body was laid to rest, lowering slowly into the ground. Tommy couldn’t tear his eyes away from the casket as it sunk lower and lower, a few tears slipping down his face.</p><p>The procession slowly all took turns throwing dirt onto the casket. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” Tommy threw his own fistful of dirt, saying a final goodbye to this version of Wilbur. He may live in his dreams and as Ghostbur, but this Wilbur was gone.</p><p>Techno guided Phil back to the funeral home, and Tommy followed. Occasionally guests would walk up and give their condolences to the family. Techno, despite hating social interactions, thanked each of the guests, with Phil too overtaken by grief to say much of anything.</p><p>Tommy was sure later tonight Techno would go and beat up some boxing bag or something to get out his own grief, but right now he was stepping up for his family.</p><p>Towards the end, as most of the guests had already left, the teenager from before, Eret, walked up.</p><p>“I wanted to thank you Techno, for allowing me to help carry the casket. It-It meant a lot. I don’t think Wilbur would have wanted me here, but Niki basically forced me to come and I… I wanted to say goodbye.”</p><p>“I don’t think Wilbur would hold that grudge up to death, trust me. You two were friends first, and I think he’d be happy to know you still came, despite what went down between you two. Besides, funerals are for the living, not the dead. And I know you cared about him. He knew it too.”</p><p>Techno was very rarely so kind and this teenager seemed to know it, as their eyes filled with tears and they quickly nodded before walking away, with one final condolence. “I’m so sorry for your loss. Wilbur was a strange guy, but a good one. He deserved so much, and I’m sorry he didn’t get it.”</p><p>Tommy watched Eret walk away, wrapping a comforting arm around Niki who had been waiting for the end of the conversation. She gave a tight lipped, pained smile back towards the family before the two walked out of the church.</p><p>The three men stood in the church lobby, with Phil’s eyes drawn clearly off to one side. Tommy followed his line of sight, to a photo of Wilbur smiling mischievously. Tommy gave one final smile for the boy before walking out of the church.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: I'm sad.<br/>Me, the author: Me too, bud, me too.<br/>-or-<br/>Techno: Wilbur would forgive you Eret<br/>Wilbur in the afterlife: Think again bitch.<br/>-<br/>Hope you enjoyed this chapter, it's not my best work but I just needed to write something after a month and a half of minimal fictional writing (aside from plotting things out)<br/>-<br/>Next chapter, Dream continues to suck</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. The Brutality and Tyranny of Their Ruler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dream shows up, like the asshole he is.</p><p>Chapter title from 'L'Manberg Anthem' by... I guess Wilbur Soot? I'm assuming he wrote it tbh.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, so I'm going to stop making promises of being back and active, because clearly it isn't happening. I promised two chapters a week over a month ago and I'm just now updating. Still though, I needed this break, and it just made me more excited to be back, although I won't promise any form of update schedule. Life is just a bit too messy for that.<br/>In case anyone cares, I'm almost done recovering from my chest infection. It lasted a month and a half, and it's like my fourth one in just under a year, so just know I'll be going to a respiratory specialist, looking after myself lol.<br/>Hope you've all been okay, and I hope you enjoy!</p><p>TW for this chapter: mentions of vomit (it doesn't happen but a character thinks it will), emotional manipulation, death threats, description of a brutal death caused by being beaten up, and the fallout of a traumatised child having to face the person who caused the trauma (I don't explore it too much, but it is there)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy wasn’t sure why exactly he awoke that night. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest and he was painfully aware of the cold sweat clinging to his skin.</p><p>Looking to the side, he could Techno and Phil both fast asleep, a rare sight to see nowadays. Tommy quickly sat up, feeling himself drawn to the outside. He stepped out into the hotel parking lot, picking up the door key from the dresser before closing the door.</p><p>The concrete was cold against his bare foot and he repressed a shiver. It was pitch black outside, the only light a streetlamp next to the road. Breathing out, Tommy could feel rather than see the light mist that left his mouth, his breaths freezing in the open air, becoming light icicles.</p><p>It reminded him of running through the snow, afraid and desperate for help, for survival. Trying to escape Dream and his exile, realising too late that he had arrived in the home of the wrong person. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.</p><p>Of course, if he was remembering the half reality of his dreams correctly, that had worked out well, at least temporarily. But something told him that the suffocating cold of his current reality was not as safe, not as protective.</p><p>Something was wrong.</p><p>His eyes adjusting to the dark more, Tommy kept his gaze roaming over the parking lot. It took him longer than he was proud to admit to realise why the air felt so… disturbed.</p><p>Under the light of the streetlamp was a shape, small and black, with outstretched wings mid flap through the air. A bat, frozen in time. Further down the road, right before the edge of the building, he could see two streams of light, like the headlights of a car out of view. The lights stayed in the same place, not moving or shifting.</p><p>Time had stopped.</p><p>Once that realisation had sunk in, he attempted to turn back around to the door, but leaped back in fright as he came face to face with a white mask, smile etched dark onto the ceramic surface.</p><p>Dream.</p><p>He could tell that Dream was smirking underneath that mask, pleased at the reaction he had been able to shock out of the teenager.</p><p>Anger quickly flooded his being, replacing the bone deep fear, and he attempted to rush forward. He wasn’t sure what his plan was exactly, but whatever he was about to do, he was stopped when Dream blinked away, suddenly gone. He froze in confusion before hearing a condescending voice behind him.</p><p>“Oh Tommy, surely you know that that wasn’t going to work. I control this universe, it’s not like you have the power to land a punch on me.” Dream tsked, before beginning to pace in a circle around the younger boy. Tommy kept his eyes on the hooded man, spinning around to ensure he was always in his line of sight. There was no way he would turn his back on this asshole.</p><p>“I’m going to fucking kill you.” The teenager spat, venom thick in his voice. Anyone else would probably have been scared but Dream only laughed. It was mocking and made Tommy’s skin crawl, setting his nerves on fire.</p><p>“You’ve always been a little brat. At least Wilbur was fun to mess with, you’re just pathetic, thinking you have any power right now.”</p><p>Tommy’s blood ran cold at the mention of his brother. “You killed him.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t.” Dream said, voice patient like a parent explaining something to a child.</p><p>“You killed my brother.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t. Phil did, at Wilbur’s request. I did not kill Wilbur, I never laid a hand on him. I just showed him the truth.” Dream stopped his pacing, facing Tommy head on.</p><p>Tommy scoffed, “And what truth was that?”</p><p>“That you are all powerless compared to me, and that ultimately all there is to do is give in. I’m a God, you have no chance against me. You just need to accept your place as simply a bug under my boot, I can choose when I put my foot down and squish you all.”</p><p>Tommy glared, knowing deep down that Dream was right but refusing to accept it. He would not back down without a fight, not after what had happened with Wilbur. He knew that Dream was at fault, that he’d somehow manipulated Wilbur, torn at the boy’s mental stability until it felt like the only answer was dying. He wasn’t going to let Dream do that again, not to anyone.</p><p>Not to himself and certainly not to his family.</p><p>He straightened up, standing tall and Tommy could almost hear the eye roll Dream was doing under the mask. The hooded man rolled his shoulders, before looking down at his hands, picking at his nails like he was bored and this was a normal conversation, not a direct threat made against Tommy and his family.</p><p>“Do you remember Tommy, the prison?”</p><p>He didn’t remember but as he stood there, he suddenly felt himself be whisked away, until he was in a dark, cold room. Standing in front of him was Dream, dirty and yet still prideful. The man was clutching a simple potato in his hand and the younger boy could feel dread build up in the pit of his stomach for some reason. His body knew what was about to happen before his mind did.</p><p>Suddenly he was being struck across the face, hard and fast. The hits kept coming, raining down on him, knocking him to the floor. He skinned his hands knees as he slid across the harsh obsidian surface. He stared up at his attacked, at the smiling mask.</p><p>It felt like an eternity passed, punches continuing. He could feel blood drip down from his hairline, one of his eyes swollen shut and the other seeing in shades of red, stinging from the blood which coated its surface. His chest and stomach hurt, and his fingers were bent in odd directions, after they had been stomped down on, hard.</p><p>This was the most pain he had ever felt. He just wanted it to be over.</p><p>Please let it be over.</p><p>He squinted up, as he saw a large shape, the underside of a boot coming closer and closer to his face.</p><p>He didn’t register he was even in the hotel parking lot for a few seconds, the cold of the prison blending in with the cold of the night air. It was only when a breeze drifted across his skin, lighting up his nerve endings like lightning that he registered the change. The prison air had been stuffy, stiff.</p><p>He could feel himself shaking and the pangs of phantom pain in his chest. He had to take a few calming breaths to ground himself back to reality. He wasn’t in the prison, he was in the real world, his family were sleeping in the room just behind him.</p><p>Dream was still stood there, arms crossed his chest, looking incredibly pleased with himself. Tommy tried to straighten up once again, to prove he wasn’t afraid, but they both know he was. He was scared shitless.</p><p>He placed a hand behind him, trying to grab the door handle without looking away from the man. He felt the cold metal against his hand and breathed a sigh of relief, he just needed to open the door, get Techno and Phil and he would be okay. He would be safe.</p><p>Before he could turn the handle however, Dream launched forward as if about to strike. Tommy flinched back, hard and smacked his head against the wooden door. He slid down the door, crumbling as his vision whited out.</p><p>All he could feel was all encompassing panic, heart beating loud and his blood rushing through his ears. The air was caught in his throat, he couldn’t breathe in, couldn’t move. He was dying, he knew he was dying.</p><p>He didn’t want to die again, not again.</p><p>Please not again.</p><p>The static thrumming through his veins slowly began to dissipate, as he felt his balance shift. The first thing he noticed was the sudden pressure against his back. The second thing was the feeling of thread bare carpet against his arms and neck. The third was the sound of soft and comforting whispers, he couldn’t understand what was being said but he found himself focusing on it anyways.</p><p>He swam up from unconsciousness, using the voice as an anchor until he felt well enough to open his eyes. He hadn’t even really noticed he had closed them, but as he lifted them he flinched back from the bright light which instantly assaulted his senses.</p><p>“Woah, it’s okay, calm. Stay calm.” Said the voice and now with his eyes open he was able to register exactly who was speaking. It was Phil, the older man kneeling above him, staring down at him in worry. His hand was resting against his shoulder, and he helped Tommy sit up, guiding him slowly.</p><p>Once he was sat up, Phil rubbing a hand up and down his back, he blinked around at the outside. He was seated in the doorway of the hotel room, with the door wide open behind him. It was early morning outside, with Tommy able to see the Sun creeping up above the horizon. It had been completely dark the last time he could remember anything.</p><p>“What happened Tommy? I noticed you weren’t in bed so opened the door to check outside and you were leaning against it. You nearly cracked your head open on the floor, I barely caught you in time.”</p><p>Tommy faced Phil, seeing Techno and Ghostbur hovering behind him. Techno had stilled his face into something calm and focused, while Ghostbur was wringing his blue stained fingers together.</p><p>“I-I woke up last night, and I just felt a pull to go outside. So, I went outside and Dream was there.”</p><p>“What did he do?” Techno asked, hands curling into fists and a stormy edge taking over his expression, morphing his mouth into a scowl.</p><p>“He… he just threatened me. He didn’t do anything else.” He elected to not mention the forced prison memory. The family didn’t need to deal with his trauma, they already had enough of their own. “But I’m not letting that asshole get away with anything. We’re still going to defeat him.”</p><p>Techno and Phil nodded, while Ghostbur looked nervous, floating a little bit further above the ground. His fingers were twitching in the air.</p><p>“Where were you Ghostbur? I didn’t see you last night.” Tommy felt bad about it, but he did find it quite suspicious that Ghostbur hadn’t been around. He knew the ghost had been friends with Dream in the past.</p><p>“I-I don’t know. It was night, and then I blinked and it was morning. That happens sometimes, I lose time.” The ghost was clearly upset by this admission, a look of self loathing taking over his face. Tommy felt guilty putting it there.</p><p>“If Ghostbur wasn’t there when Dream showed up, it’s likely Dream did that somehow, made him disappear for a period of time. It would make sense, we know Dream has control of Ghostbur even existing, so he could make him disappear.” Techno reasoned, and Tommy felt sick at the thought. He liked Ghostbur, the phantom was kind and so desperate to be loved, it was honestly sad. He didn’t deserve to be treated like that, not by someone he still viewed as a friend. He especially didn’t deserve to blame himself for it.</p><p>“I-I’m going to throw up.” Tommy stuttered out, quickly standing up and rushing into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him. He rushed to the sink and splashed cool water onto his face, trying not to be sick. He dry heaved into the sink, watching as the water turned hotter and steam began to fill the room. He could hear the others calling for him in concern from the main room but he just stood there, blood pounding in his ears. Tommy glanced up at the mirror in front of him and blanched at the sight.</p><p>The smile from the mask, was drawn on the surface of the mirror, a painting in the fog. The message was clear, Dream was watching him, even now.</p><p>Before he could think it through, his fist rushed out, smashing into the mirror which shattered into dozens of pieces. He panted heavily, the rage rushing out of him in a flash, leaving him simply feeling empty.</p><p>He glanced at the largest piece of the mirror, resting in the sink, water flooding down at it from above. In the distorted reflection he could see his own face, but the background behind him wasn’t the bathroom. He was in a small building, the night sky shining from the window behind him.</p><p>Staring down at the mirror shard, he quickly realised that was another scene from his dream. Something compelled him, different than previously with dream, less dizzying and more calming. He allowed his mind to fall into the scene before him.</p><p>The room was cold, and he pushed down a shiver. Standing in front of him was Ghostbur, clutching a golden object in his hands. “I know you really like Tubbo, and I know you really miss him, so I made you this.” The ghost pressed a cold, translucent hand into Tommy’s warm and solid one, passing the object over. It looked to be a compass. Turning it over in his hand, Tommy ran a finger over the engraving on the back ‘Your Tubbo’. He could tell Ghostbur was still talking, saying goodbye as he faded away.</p><p>He could remember this, while he was stuck in exile, alone. He remembered Ghostbur, he remembered the comforting knowledge of where Tubbo was. He remembered everything sorting itself out, as they eventually defeated Dream, locking him up in prison.</p><p>This was proof, proof that no matter how much power Dream seemed to believe he had, that there was always someone looking out for Tommy, some quiet act of rebellion. A reminder that no matter how hopeless everything seemed, that there was always people there to help him.</p><p>He found himself smiling, even as a presence seemed to wrap itself around his soul, yanking him back to his current reality. He was back in the bathroom, a slow clapping sounding from behind him.</p><p>Tommy turned around and faced the green hooded man, who was stood tense, his posture screaming frustration. “You think you’re so clever Tommy huh? Escaping away to your dreams? Need I remind you who controls all of these universes?”</p><p>Whereas earlier fear had been all he could feel as he faced Dream, now he felt triumphant. Dream was rattled, for some reason, and it was all the reassurance Tommy needed. “I don’t care. I won’t ever back down.” He felt his hands wrap around cold metal, and he knew without looking that he had summoned the compass from his dreams.</p><p>Dream’s presence seemed to flicker, like an old computer game character glitching out. If the slight intake of breath was any indication, that wasn’t planned. “You’re going to regret trying to fight me.” The green hooded man vanished, gone as quickly as he had appeared.</p><p>Tommy wasn’t sure what had exactly just happened, but as he clutched the compass, he started to form a plan.</p><p>He was going to stop Dream.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy: Why must you traumatise me further?<br/>Me, the author: Because God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished<br/>-or-<br/>Tommy, about receiving the compass: That might be a transcendent experience, and maybe it's because I went so low two minutes before this point.<br/>Dream, annoyed Tommy is not afraid: Fuck you and your transcendent experience.</p><p>Yes, both of those are based on Brian David Gilbert quotes, I've become obsessed over the last month since you last heard from me. In fact, I am planning a 'Dream SMP as Brian David Gilbert Quotes' video which will be followed a week later by a video essay on the Dream SMP and its narrative. So if you want to watch my two current obsessions collide, and then soon after watch a film student spend way too long analysing a block roleplay, please subscribe to my youtube channel: Fandom Support Club<br/>https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8jWeIV9DFWR9UgkggVOnSw<br/>It would really mean a lot! You'll get to hear more from me if you go sub, especially my analytical stuff rather than my creative fanfiction stuff.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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